Muse

I was stuck for something to write about, so I wrote about that. Maybe thats how a muse works? Not really about anyone in particular, but vaguely similar to someone I knew at school. No points for spotting the references to finished posts. If you can spot the others, how did you get to see my computer?


I was stuck. Writers block. Nothing was occurring to me, no theme, no idea, nothing. Even a succession of large drinks couldn’t loosen the synapses enough to let something out. I just sat and stared at the screen of the monitor, hoping that something would come. Another drink was too much and I slumped unconscious before the computer. It was dark when I awoke. The computer had gone into sleep mode, but the radio was still playing gently in the background. I heard another sound, the sound of someone breathing quietly. I raised my head painfully and looked around the room. There was no-one to see, but I could still hear the noise. “Hello?” I called out softly. “Who’s there?” There was no answer. As I turned around further I nudged the mouse and the computer woke up noisily, the few lines I had written appearing to mock me. “Why the hell can’t I think of anything?” I swore at the taunting screen.
“That’s why I’m here, maybe I can help you?” A sweet voice came out of the ether.
“Who… Who said that?”
“That was me, your muse.”
“Why can’t I see you?” There was a sigh.
“How come no-one will accept me unless they can see me? All right here I am.” There was a sound like Hundreds-and-Thousands rolling around a cymbal, a dull glow and then silence again, except for the radio still playing. Beside me was a young-looking, alabaster-skinned redhead wearing a simple floral dress. Her fingers were interlaced in front of her.
“Where did you come from?” Another sigh.
“I just appeared here dummy, weren’t you watching? No wonder you can’t write anything.”
“Sorry.” I mumbled, too astonished to say anything else. “Wasn’t very spectacular was it?” She snorted and crossed her arms. “To return to my original question then, who are you?”
“My name is Sarakuk, I’m your muse. A muse of computer short stories.”
“Seems pretty specific.”
“Modern times need modern solutions. And I’ll be more help than that help icon, I promise.” By now I was convinced I was still asleep, that this was some alcohol-induced lateral thinking. “It’s nothing of the sort!” The girl said. “Sheesh! I come here to help and all I get is doubts.”
“How did you know what I was thinking?” I asked.
“I’m your muse. I wouldn’t be much help unless I could see into your mind would I?”
“Is there anything in there that could help me at the moment?”
“No. It’s all pretty disgusting. And you can stop thinking that too!” I went red.
“Sorry muse, but you are kinda cute.”
“Really?”
“Really cute, muse.”
“I suppose I should be used to it by now.”
“You get called on a lot then?”
“Not really. Most of you give up quickly, but you’re a special case. You usually manage to finish what you start.” She held out her hand. “Truce?” I shook it.
“Truce.”
“And can you call me Sara?”
“Sure Sara. What do we do now?”
“How about we decide what this story is about for starters?”
“Errrr…”
“I see. You have no idea. Well, you don’t repeat stories, so we can eliminate what it isn’t can’t we?”
“I suppose.”
“Come on; work with me a little here.”
“Well, it’s supposed to be a romance.”
“That’s a relief.” She rolled her eyes.
“Maybe some fantasy subject?”
“Dream fulfilment?”
“All my stories are some sort of dream fulfilment.”
“They are aren’t they?” Sara stood with her hand resting on her chin. “How about this?” There was another dull glow and a strained tinkling sound.
Suddenly Sara and I were sat on a bus, a late night bus, with two other people.
“Sara, I hate to say this, but your effects need some work.”
“Picky, picky.”
“Anyway where are we?”
“This is a scene you wrote a long time ago, but never finished.” It came to me in a flash. I had written something like this, but couldn’t think where to take it.
“I remember.” I paused. “But I used the loss of memory idea in one story, and the bus became a train in one and a plane in another.” Sara looked ahead for a moment.
“Yes, I see the connections now. Let me think a minute.” She went quiet. The two other passengers talked without noticing us. I took the time to look Sara over. She was really attractive in a cutesy way, almost childlike, but with a great…”
“Hey! I told you before about that.”
“Sorry again.” I blushed. “I can’t help it; you have that effect on me.” The special effects came in again.
Now we were on the banks of a lake. “No Sara, not this. I can never finish this.”
“Sorry.” Sara looked downcast. “It seems so strong though.”
“It is, that’s why I’ll never finish it. It was trying to take some secret thoughts into a story, but it will never work. The thoughts, the feelings, are too private. Try something else.” The effects fizzed again. “Why are these effects so bad?” I asked.
“If you must know, it’s because I’m so low on the list. All the great muses have spectacular effects; I’m such a minor muse I have to take what I can get. Okay? Happy now you’ve humiliated me?”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I am new at this though.” She sighed.
“I’m not exactly a veteran either. We’ll have to learn together.” Another thought popped into my head. “I’m not going to keep telling you about that. If you’re not careful, I’ll go and find someone else.” She went really red this time. I wasn’t sure if she was angry or blushing.
We were in a totally bare landscape, like a blank piece of paper, but there were several songs playing in the background.
“What’s this?” I asked, trying to pick out the tunes.
“This is a concept you had. About writing a story with songs providing the chapters.” I remembered this as well. A good idea that needed the right songs and inspiration too. I told Sara this. “Can’t you think of anything that will go with it?” She asked.
“I keep looking at it, but I think I’m trying to hard with it. Maybe I need fewer songs. Help me muse.”
“I think we’d better leave it a while longer. What about this Saturday night thing?”
“Nope, not going there.”
“The daughter’s life?”
“Needs the right atmosphere. Anyway that’s not a romance, just a series of thoughts.”
“Then I’m stuck too.”
“Are you sure you can help me? All you’ve done so far is show me stuff I know I’m having problems with. Haven’t you got anything new?”
“Look, it’s not that easy for me either. I told you, I’m new at this.”
“How do you become a muse anyway?”
“I’m not sure.” She mumbled. “All I know is that there was a need for me and I became me.”
“Don’t you get any training or anything?”
“No. It’s supposed to just happen. That’s what the others do.” Sara looked really ashamed now. “I’m not really helping am I?” I put my arm around her and gave her a hug.
“I’m sure you’re doing your best.” There was a ZING! And suddenly we were alone on a cliff looking at a sunset over the sea. “Hey! That was a much better effect, how did you do it?”
“No idea, maybe it was you.”
“I doubt that.” I looked around, this setting seemed familiar too. “This is one of my poems isn’t it?”
“Is it? I told you, I didn’t bring us here.” She suddenly looked annoyed. “I bet that Anerbert did this. Sticking her nose into my business.”
“Who?” I asked.
“Anerbert. She’s another muse. Supposed to do computer poetry.”
“Never seen her. Mind you, my poems, although rare nowadays, always just flow.”
“She’s trying to push in, to make me look bad.”
“Just forget her for a while. Let’s enjoy the moment. Just sit with me and watch the sun go down.” I put my arm around her shoulder and took her hand. She tensed, presumably expecting some dark thoughts from me, but when none came, she relaxed. We were sat in a figment of my imagination, in a non-existent place, watching a very beautiful sunset over a sea crashing onto nowhere. It was sublime. I kissed Sara below the ear.
“What did you do that for?” She exclaimed, jumping up.
“It just seemed to be the right thing to do at that moment.” I shrugged. “I didn’t mean anything else by it, nothing to do with my dark side, honestly.” Sara stared at me. I could feel her reading my thoughts. For once they were pure and sincere. Mollified, she sat back down and put my arm over her shoulder once more.
“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting nice after seeing your deepest desires.” I kissed her again.
“It must be you, bringing out the nice in me. Let’s just watch the sun going down for now.” We sat for ages, watching nature’s paint box covering its majestic canvas. Finally Sara spoke again, after the sun had finally dipped below the horizon.
“I’ve had a couple of other ideas.”
“Okay, show me.” There was another ZING! And we were in a restaurant.
“Better effect muse.”
“I think I know how to do it now.” She smiled. It lit up her face. “Now, I know this is one of your completed stories, but you wrote three sequels. How about another?” I considered her suggestion, at the same time casting my eye over two of my favourite creations, eating dinner at an adjacent table.
“I often think of adding to their story, adding in some of the blanks maybe, but…” I paused. “But I always dismiss the thought. I’ve always hated writers who reach the end of something and then go back and alter things by doing just that. Sorry.” Sara didn’t look put out by this rejection.
“I know that, but I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t suggest it.” She looked at me. “Almost all your other stories seem to have some definite ending. So, no sequels there.” Another pause. “That sci-fi one you finished recently might have some possibilities in that direction though.” She looked at me expectantly. I sat back and considered it.
“I agree, it does have options.”
“There’s a ‘but’ coming isn’t there?”
“But I’d rather wait a while before adding to it.” I smiled. “Keep going, you’re getting close now.”
“Well, I have one last suggestion.” Sara said rather shyly. “You said you wanted to write some sort of fantasy story.”
“Yesss…”
“How about..?” She looked away.
“What?”
“How-about-a-story-about-meeting-your-muse-and-falling-in-love?” The words came out in a rush, as if she was embarrassed to say them. I sat still, stunned. I turned the new idea over in my head and decided it would work.
“Brilliant Sarakuk! Just brilliant. It could work so well, as long as I can think of an ending. Thank you so much.” I leant forward and kissed her. She just sat and beamed at me, slightly perplexed.
And then Sara and the restaurant faded away and I was sat before my computer screen once again. I began to type quickly, before I lost the gist of the thing. I could edit things in later as they came to me. Fairly soon I had the rough outline of the story, but there was one thing still missing; an ending. I suddenly realised I’d left Sara too quickly, that there were some things I’d wanted to say to her, to ask her. And I wanted her to be here, with me when I found an ending.
I worked on the story for a week. Teased it out, added bits, tweaked others, but still I couldn’t think of a way to end it. I needed inspiration from my muse. There was nothing for it; I was going to have to have a drink. I sat listlessly in front of the monitor, wondering how I’d managed to call her up before. There was a familiar ZING! I looked up. “You’re getting good at that Sarakuk.” But it wasn’t her, it was another girl.
“Sorry, but Sarakuk has been re-assigned, I’m covering for her. I’m Anerbert.” She was another pretty girl, but she wasn’t the muse I wanted to see. Then I recognised her name.
“Aren’t you the one who was trying to steal her thunder?”
“That’s what she thought.” Anerbert sighed. “But I was only trying to help her out. She is such a ditzy thing, no concentration.” She looked at me. “I was going to ask if I could help, but I can see that I can’t.”
“Sara has been re-assigned? To what?”
“The call centre. You’re going to ask why aren’t you?”
“Well, it did cross my mind.”
“The management weren’t too happy with her field work.”
“So it’s my fault?”
“Not directly, but…”
“Then I need to speak to this management.” I interrupted. “I need Sara.” Anerbert studied my face, as if considering something.
“All right, I’ll see what I can do. I want to help her too.” She seemed to go into a trance for a moment, presumably to ask permission. Then she spoke in a different voice. “Your appeal has been granted. Take Anerbert’s hand and we will speak with you.” I was a little overwhelmed by this sudden turn of events, but complied.
As I took Anerbert’s hand I had the feeling of movement and then we were in a featureless office. Everything was a pure white or glossy black apart from odd features. A potted plant, a calendar, peoples faces etc.
“Wait here a moment.” Anerbert said in her own voice. “I’ll check that they’re ready to see you.” She knocked on a door to an inner office.
“Bring him in Anerbert.” A mighty voice boomed. A little apprehensively I followed her into the office. It was huge! Away in the distance I could see people working at desks, but my attention was grabbed by the podium in the centre of the office. On it was a gigantic desk, piled high with papers. Behind it was a wizened old man. He beckoned me forward. Now almost terrified I stepped up to the podium, Anerbert beside me. “Why are you questioning my decision boy?” The voice boomed once more.
“Excuse me sir, but I’m not questioning your authority. I merely wish Sarakuk to remain my personal muse.”
“Why? Every time she suggested something, you shot it down. She is obviously inefficient.”
“Pardon me sir, but she and I were both new to this, we were learning together, and in the end, she did provide me with a superb idea. But I need her influence to finish it.”
“What do you say to this, Anerbert?”
“Sir, I will always do as you instruct, but if you are asking for my personal opinion, I think Sarakuk and this man are a perfect match. She may not concentrate like the rest of us, but the two of them seem to work well together.”
“Hmmm. You leave me with a dilemma. I do not wish to seem heedless to your needs, young man, but I have to be seen to be in charge here.”
“Could we not find some compromise sir? I don’t believe Sara should be taken from a job she obviously loves.”
“Possibly. Let me cogitate for a moment.” As he thought, I stepped beside Anerbert and whispered to her.
“Thank you for that. Do you think it will help?”
“I’m not sure, to the best of my knowledge no decision has ever been overturned, but no-one has ever offered a compromise before either, so keep your finger crossed.”
“Sara was wrong about you Annie.” I smiled at her. “You are a good friend.”
“I try to be.” She looked down, blushing. “I wish you’d had problems with your poems so I could have met you first.”
“Sorry Annie.”
The management cleared his throat. “If you two have finished?” We both shuffled our feet. “You sir, must ask Sarakuk if she would be prepared to become human. That is the only way I can be seen to be in control of my muses. She will become an unofficial muse, a human muse. Would that satisfy you?”
“I must admit that isn’t exactly what I had in mind sir. But if it means Sara is still a muse, then I will accept it in the spirit of compromise, even if it means I will not see her again.”
“Well said young man. However, you must still put it to her yourself. Do you understand?”
“Yes I do sir. Will I be allowed to say goodbye to her?”
“If you so desire. Anerbert, please conduct our guest to the call centre rest room where I believe Sarakuk is currently off-duty.”
“You… you are sure you want me to go sir?”
“Indulge me Anerbert.” She nodded and led me away.
Sara was on her own in the rest room. Annie led me in; Sara wasn’t pleased to see her. “You cow! Not content with having me re-assigned, you steal my favourite subject.” She leapt up and was about to strike Annie until I stepped between them.
“Stop it Sara. She’s been trying to help me help you.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Read my mind then, you can still do that can’t you?” Sara stopped and then slumped back down onto her seat. “She’s always just being helpful to you, you just misunderstood.” Annie gave a wan smile.
“It’s true. I’ve always felt sorry for you. You try so hard, but mess it up somehow. Please listen to what he has to say. It took a lot for him to get this deal for you.”
“You’ve made a deal to help me?” I nodded.
“I’ve tried. They won’t re-assign you, but…” I stopped. I wasn’t sure how to put this to Sara, who had become so important to me in such a short time. “If you agree, they will make you an unofficial human muse.”
“For you?”
“He didn’t say. But you will still be a muse, and I know how much you loved that.” I stopped again. “It was the best I could do Sara. If you don’t accept, I’ll understand, but I’ll give up writing.”
“You would do that?”
“If I had no chance of seeing you again, yes. Sorry Annie, you understand.” The other muse nodded. Sarakuk was silent for a long moment.
“If you’re prepared to give up so much for me, it would be churlish to refuse. So, I accept the terms.” There were tears in both her and Annie’s eyes. I could feel my eyes watering too.
“Then all I can say now is thank you, muse, and goodbye.” I leant down and kissed her.
I awoke in front of the monitor once again. I had an ending now, one I didn’t particularly like, but an ending nonetheless. I started to type once more. It was difficult because I had tears in my eyes still. The doorbell rang. Wiping my eyes, I went to answer it.
“Hello! I’ve just moved in next door, but my water hasn’t been connected yet, I was hoping you could fill my kettle so I could give the removal guys some tea.” I stood open mouthed. It was Sara!
“Sure.” I managed to say. “Come in and fill up.” She followed me into the kitchen. As she filled the kettle she turned partially round. “I’m Sarah, by the way. Sarah Cooke.”
“Of course you are. Pleased to meet you.” There was no ZING! But I felt the presence of Anerbert whispering to me.
“Best I could do.” I murmured my thanks.
“What was that?” Sarah asked.
“Oh nothing.” I replied. “Are you interested in stories by any chance..?

Girl On A Train

Bit of stop-start birth for this one. Some of the passages seem a bit sparse still too. Did have someone in mind for this, but she changed her hair colour!


I had to take the train to the college for the short course I was taking for my work, no great hardship really; it gave me the chance to catch up on some reading. After a few days I realised that I was always travelling with the same people and struck up one or two conversations with a couple of them as we boarded. One person I didn’t start talking to straight away was a pretty girl. She had blonde hair, glasses over alert blue eyes and a cute smile that I saw for the first time when she caught me looking at her. Hurriedly I went back to my book. I saw her again on the return trip. She got off one stop before me. I wondered if I should try to engineer sitting next to her the next day, but decided against it, I thought I’d see what happened.
As it was, the following day she got on the train and sat by me. She smiled her cute smile and said ‘hi’. I greeted her in return, gulping down my surprise.
“I saw you looking at me yesterday and thought we could talk.” She said.
“Sorry about yesterday, I didn’t mean to stare.”
“You didn’t catch me staring back then?”
“No. No I didn’t. Why would you be staring at me?”
“You reminded me of someone.”
“Okay, now I’m hooked, who?”
“Are you the Duncan that used to date my sister?”
“Well, I am a Duncan so it depends on who your sister was.”
“Yvonne, Yvonne Brooks.”
“Vonnie!” I laughed at the memory of one of my old classmates. “I wouldn’t say that I dated Vonnie; more like helped her with her homework. That would mean you are…” I searched my memory; I was a bit poor at remembering names. “Zoë?” I hazarded.
“Close enough. I’m Sophie. You helped me with my homework too.”
“I did? I don’t remember that. I do remember a twelve-year-old smarty-pants pretending she needed help though.”
She laughed. “Busted! I admit it; I had a bit of a crush on you then. I had to help Vonnie after she dumped you.”
“Sorry not to recognise you, but you’ve filled out a bit since then.” She gave me a bit of a look. “I mean you’re older.” Another look. “Pass me the shovel.” The cute grin was back.
“I know what you meant. It was nearly ten years ago.”
“That would mean you’re sixteen or seventeen now then?”
“Nice recovery!”
After that we sat and talked every day on the train, both ways. We talked about everything from films to music to books to childhood memories. As the weeks went on and I got closer to finishing my course I began to toy with the idea of asking her out for a drink or a meal, but kept putting it off. By now I had started the last week and as we parted on the Monday, Sophie waving as she left the carriage, I determined that tomorrow was the day. Tuesday morning came but there was no sign of Sophie. I wondered what had happened to her, whether she had got a different train. She didn’t appear for the rest of the week and I knew I’d missed my chance by Friday. I felt bad about it for weeks, wishing I’d at least asked for her phone number, but gradually pushed her to the back of my mind and got on with my life.


About seven years had passed since the train incident. I was sitting in the park with my camera, adjusting the white balance, getting my eye in after the winter by shooting some pictures of the wildlife on the lake. It was the first sunny and warm day of spring and there were a few more people in the park. I was scanning the water, zooming in and out on the ducks, when I caught sight of a child kneeling on the edge of one of the fishing stations jutting out into the water. As my lens passed over her she slipped into the water. At the splash I heard a woman cry ‘FIONA!’. Immediately my jacket and trainers were off and I jumped into the cold water, striking out towards the struggling toddler. Within moments I had my arm around the scared youngster, holding her head above the water. After a few reassuring words she relaxed and I gently made my way to the shore. My feet found solid ground as the child’s mother waded in alongside me and picked her daughter out of my grasp. They were hugging as I pulled myself from the water, the little girl starting to cry.
“Sshh, Fiona. You’re safe now.”
“But I lost my dolly mommy.” Fiona was rubbing her eyes. Her mother had her face buried in her daughters hug until then.
“Don’t worry about that sweetie, we can get a new one, but I can’t replace you.” She stood, picking up the child. “Thank you.” She said before looking over. “Duncan!”
“Sophie!”
“You’re soaked. Let me take you to our apartment and get you dry.”
“You don’t have to do that. I can walk home.”
“You jumped into the lake to save Fiona, it’s the least I can do.” She smiled her cute smile and I gave in.
“All right, I’ll just get my stuff.” I mumbled a bit. Sophie wrapped her coat around the little girl and followed me to the bench. My camera and the other things were still there.

I squelched into Sophie’s bathroom. “Take off your wet things and I’ll wash and dry them for you.” She called out.
“What shall I wear?”
“Put on the bathrobe that’s hanging on the door, fool.”
I came out holding my clothes. She took them from me and dropped them into the washer.
“Won’t that take some time?” I asked a little self-conscious, only wearing what was obviously a woman’s flimsy bathrobe.
“About an hour, and then nearly another hour to dry them. Why? In a hurry?”
“I just don’t want your husband to come home and find me nearly naked with his wife.” She giggled.
“Won’t happen. Not married.”
“Oh.”
“Fiona’s dad died before she was born, before we got married.”
“I…I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
“Why should you have?” She bustled out of the kitchen, but not before I saw a tear in her eye. “There’s coffee on the shelf, the kettle has just boiled. I just need to check on Fi.” She called out as she went down the hallway.
I’d made a mug of coffee and drunk half of it before Sophie came back. Her eyes looked a bit red, as if she’d been crying. “How is Fiona?” I asked quietly.
“She’s a bit shook up, but she’s sleeping for now.” She grinned. “Fi seems more worried about losing her dolly than falling into the water.”
“Could you tell me about her dad?”
“We met and fell in love not long after I broke my hand.” She paused. “That was when I missed your last week on the train?”
“I often wondered what happened to you. I was one day from asking you out. My own fault.” I held my hand up as she started to say something. “I kept putting it off until it was too late. Anyway, what happened? With Fiona’s dad?”
“Oh! Well, we dated for a few months. Then I found out about Fi coming and he was so happy he ran out to get a ring, to start making arrangements. He stepped under a bus.” Tears sprang to her eyes again. I hugged her, letting her cry into my shoulder.
“I’m really sorry. I’m sure he would have been a wonderful parent.”
“Yes.” Sophie sniffed. “Yes, he would have.”
“As it is, you haven’t done too bad by yourself. Fiona seems perfectly well balanced and quite smart for her age.”
“She’s too clever by half and much too independent. That’s how she fell in the lake, thinking she could reach her doll.” Sophie sighed. “It also means I keep falling into the trap of not watching her all the time.”
“I wasn’t accusing you.”
“I know, but I still feel guilty about being lulled into a false sense of security.”
We sat and talked until my clothes were ready. Sophie wanted to iron them too, but I told her not to worry. As I was leaving I asked if I could come round again, to talk some more maybe? Sophie nodded yes and gave me her number so I could ring ahead.
“And it’s only taken me seven years to get it.” I said, holding up the number and grinning. Sophie grinned back.
“You only had to ask back then too.”

Something had happened in the half an hour since I’d rung Sophie. She looked flustered when I rang the doorbell, a carrier bag in my hand.
“What’s the matter?” I asked
“Oh Duncan, I’m sorry. I’ve got to go out, an emergency job came up.”
“A job?”
“Yes. I do some freelance accounting. People call me when they need help with some audit or other. But I can’t get hold of my usual sitter for Fiona.”
“Could I do it for you?”
“Baby-sit? Fiona?”
“Yeah, why not? We get on all right.” She considered it for a moment, and then made up her mind.
“Okay. There’s a list of rules in the front room. She knows she must stick to them, so you should be all right. Call me if there’s a problem.” She picked up her coat and briefcase, and called over her shoulder as she left. “Fiona, Duncan is going to look after you. Don’t torment him. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay mom.” Fiona called out. Sophie paused, pushed her glasses up, and then gave me a smile. With that she was gone. I slipped off my coat and went to find the little girl. She was sat in front of the TV playing a video game.
“Hello Fiona, how are you now?”
“I’m fine Uncle Duncan.” She replied, without looking up from the screen.
“That looks fun, can I have a go? And I wish you wouldn’t call me Uncle.” I asked, putting down the carrier bag. She paused the game and then looked around at me.
“You want to play against me?”
“Why not?”
“Well, I practise a lot on my own, and you’ve never seen it before.”
“I think I’ll get the gist of it. It won’t be the first time I’ve played a video game Fi.”
“You don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for Un… Duncan.” I smiled and sat beside her, taking the second controller. “The girl character’s moves are easier to pull off.” She suggested as she switched the game to two player mode.
After over an hour my thumbs were getting numb.
“I concede Fiona, I’m starting to hurt.”
“You’re just getting the hang of it Duncan.”
“I’ve beaten you once, smarty-pants.” She giggled. “And I think it’s about time I checked the list your Mom was on about.”
“Oh dear.”
“Oh dear? What’s on the list that I should know about?”
“I’ll leave it to you to find out while I put this away.” She hurriedly began to put the games console away. Amused, I went to find the list. I found it on the coffee table. Number 1 on the list was ‘Don’t let her play games for more than half an hour.’
“Well I won’t tell if you don’t Fi.” I called out over my shoulder.
“Thank you.” She almost sang. “I think I’d better get ready for bed now.”
“That’s what it says here. ‘Wash, brush teeth, and bed.’ Call me when you’re ready.”
“Okay Unc… Duncan.”
It didn’t take her long to call.
“That was quick. I think I’d better check. Hands.” She showed me her hands. “Teeth.” She showed me her teeth. “Hmm. Seems all right.” I reached into the carrier I’d brought with me and pulled out the replacement doll I’d bought her. “This is for you, for the one you lost.”
“Un… Duncan, you didn’t need to do that. Mommy got me a new one too.”
“Oh, sorry. I can take it away if you like?”
“Don’t please.” Fiona hugged the dolly.
“Go to bed Fiona, before your Mom gets back, and I get into trouble.” I laughed. She smiled and ran into her bedroom. Just in time as it happened. I heard the key in the lock of the front door and quickly sat down as if that’s where I’d been all the time. Sophie came in, putting down her coat and case. “That was quick.”
“Wasn’t as big a problem as they thought they had. Any trouble with Fi?”
“Might have helped if I’d read the note first.” Sophie laid her hand on the still warm console.
“So I see.” She frowned a little.
“It wasn’t Fiona’s fault. I challenged her and we lost track of the time.” I said, more than a little sheepishly. She smirked.
“If you want to take the blame, I’ll let you.” She moved towards the kitchen and saw the now empty bag. “What did you bring her? A new dolly?”
“How did you know that?”
“Let’s just say I’m getting an idea of how you think Duncan. Coffee?” I nodded and followed her to the kitchen. Sophie looked as beautiful as ever, even just making coffee. I leant against a cupboard and watched her. “What are you staring at?” She suddenly asked.
“Sorry, I was just thinking how awesome you looked.”
“What are you talking about? I look a mess.” She said, flustered. She ran her hand through her hair, putting a few stray strands back in place.
“I’ve always liked how you looked, even when you were a clever-clogs twelve year old, though I couldn’t say so then. And I blew my chance to say so back on the train, so I’m saying it now.”
Sophie turned around. “Don’t say things like that unless you mean them Duncan.”
“But I do mean them Sophie, I’ve just never said so before. I can be a bit slow at times, especially with pretty women.”
“Duncan…”
“Can I kiss you?”
“I… I think I’d like that.” I pulled her towards me and our lips met. The kettle boiled, but neither of us was interested.

I saw a lot of Sophie and Fiona over the summer. Two or three days a week I went round and saw them, played games with Fiona, baby-sat a few times or just drank coffee with Sophie. More than once we all went out together at the weekend, to some event or even just visiting the park. I was falling deeply in love with Sophie, and Fiona fascinated me. For such a young child, she was amazingly self-sufficient and confidant. She made me think I would have liked to have met her father, I’m sure we would have got on well.

The days began to get shorter and Sophie’s birthday was coming up. Fiona and I hatched a cunning plan. I knew I could trust the little girl and between us we organised a special surprise for her mother. She phoned her Aunt Yvonne and asked if she could come and baby-sit while I had made reservations at a swanky restaurant. I collected Vonnie that evening and drove to Sophie’s. Vonnie and I had become reacquainted again throughout the summer with no regrets. I rang Sophie’s bell.
“Hello Duncan, you normally ring first.”
“Not tonight I’m afraid. Grab your coat, we’re going out.”
“What about Fi?”
“Covered.” I said, stepping to one side and letting Vonnie in. “Miss Fiona has asked her Aunt over to look after her. So, no excuses, I’m treating you tonight.”
“But… But I look a mess.”
“Oh sis, you worry too much.” Vonnie stepped inside the door and hugged her younger sister. “Now get going. I’m sure Fi can find something we can do.”
“In here Auntie Von, I’ve put your favourite game on.”
“See. Now go and enjoy yourself for once. Mom says.”
“I see.” Sophie looked at us. “I’m the victim of a conspiracy am I?”
“Yes.” I said, kissing her on the cheek. “Now hurry up or we’ll miss our reservations.”

I suppose the success of that little plan made me think I could surprise Sophie in a special way. I was wrong as it turned out, I didn’t have Fiona’s sneaky inside knowledge I suppose. Anyway, I went too far. I thought it would be a good idea to get two engagement rings; one each for Sophie and Fiona. After all they came as a pair and I had definitely fallen head over heals in love with Sophie AND Fiona. I made my plans; I would just need to find out both their ring sizes. Not easy, but possible. My intention was to wait until just after Christmas, invite them to the car show, and then spring my surprise on them. It seemed to be a good idea, but things soon began to go wrong. Sophie caught me looking at her jewellery and I had to be evasive. I managed to avoid an outright lie, but she was suspicious something was happening. Somehow I managed to get the approximate sizes and bought the two rings. I carried them with me all the time, paranoid that one of the girls would find them if I didn’t. Initially I kept the receipt with me as well, but I mislaid it somewhere. And then came the argument…

It was the week before Christmas and Fiona was staying at her granny’s overnight. Sophie wanted to talk to me about something, but wouldn’t say what. I rang the bell and she answered the door. She seemed upset, her eyes reddened beneath her glasses. Cheerfully I asked what was wrong. A mistake as it turned out. Sophie turned her back on me and stalked into the front room. I followed, wondering what the matter was.
“Sophie, what’s happened? Fiona is all right isn’t she?”
“There’s nothing wrong with my daughter, thank you.” She turned around; her face was as black as thunder. “I found out your secret. I thought you were different, Duncan. Not like most of the men I’ve dated since Fi was born. I thought you cared for me, and for her.”
“But… but I do care.” I managed to stammer out. “I care about both of you.”
“Well you have a funny way of showing it. Go away and don’t come back. I never want to see you again.” The anger was pouring out of her, and I was helpless before it. I could see she was so angry that I wouldn’t be able to reason with her, so I turned away and left, thinking I could phone her in a couple of days and find out what the problem was.

That was the worst thing I could have done, she wouldn’t take my calls and I thought it would be stupid to go around and confront her. I just had to hope that she would call me and tell me what was wrong, but she didn’t. I was desolate. Somehow, my own stupidity or insensitivity had caused this, of that I was sure, but exactly what she had ‘found out’ escaped me. I kept hoping in the days before Christmas but I had no contact with my bespectacled beauty. I couldn’t even give Fiona the new video game I’d bought her. It was the worst Christmas holiday I’d ever spent.

The second week in January and I was on the train again. My car was in dock for repairs, the train was the next best way to get to the car show. It had been a good show, but it hadn’t taken my mind off Sophie. I still couldn’t work out what I had done wrong, why she had told me to leave. I slumped into my seat and tried to look through my photos, but my heart wasn’t in it. I had wanted to take Sophie and Fiona, to give them the rings that I still carried with me. That seemed impossible now though. The train stopped at the next station and I heard people getting on and off. I thought I heard a tap at the window, but when I looked there was no-one there. As we pulled off, I looked down at my camera again. After a minute or so I sensed someone standing next to me. I looked up.
“Hello Uncle Duncan. Sorry, Duncan.” Fiona was stood next to me.
“Fiona! What are you doing here?”
“Mommy took me to the city to spend my Christmas money. We’re going home now. I thought I saw you when we got on and came to check.”
“You shouldn’t have. And you definitely shouldn’t wander around on your own.”
“But I wanted to see you. I miss you Unc… Duncan. Mommy does too; I hear her crying at night.”
“I doubt that’s because she misses me princess. I upset her somehow, but I don’t know how.” I was torn by indecision. I knew I had to take Fiona back to her mom, but I didn’t know what reception I’d get. Sighing, I stood and took the little girls hand. “Come on, I’d better get you back to Sophie before she goes frantic.” She led me back down the carriage. Sophie was reading a magazine and hadn’t realised Fi had slipped away to look for me.
“Sophie? I believe this belongs to you.” I held up Fiona’s hand and attempted to let go. She held onto me.
“Fiona! What have you been up to?”
“I told you I saw him mommy, so I went to check.”
“You little minx, you could have got into all sorts of trouble. What if hadn’t been Duncan? You could have been hurt or something worse.”
“But it was and nothing happened.” Fiona’s eyes were watering.
“Go easy on her Sophie.” I said quietly. “She knows she did wrong now, just leave it at that. Whatever I did to upset you, don’t take it out on her.”
Sophie looked up at me, tears forming in her eyes too. “You still don’t get it do you?”
“No, I don’t. Whatever it was, I still don’t know.” Fi had sat down now, but was still clutching my hand.
“All right, I’ll spell it out, in front of Fiona too.”
I was a bit puzzled now: I knew I hadn’t done anything that Fiona didn’t already know about, except the rings. I sat next to the youngster. “Go on then.”
Sophie looked a bit shocked. “I found the receipt from the jewellers, so I know you had another girlfriend. Buying her an identical ring to me was sick though.”
An enormous feeling of relief hit me. I had been stupid, but it was all explainable. “Yes, I have two girlfriends, and I’m sitting with both of them.”
Sophie looked at me with a look of disbelief. “What! You… You bought rings for me and… and Fiona?”
“Yes.” I took the two ring boxes from my pocket and placed them on Sophie’s magazine. “See.”
Tentatively she reached for the boxes. “You could have changed them.”
“I suppose I could have, but I haven’t. Go to the shop and ask if you don’t believe me.”
“But why two rings?”
“Because I want to be part of both of your lives. So, two engagement rings.”
“I… I believe you.” She bowed her head. “I thought you were tired of me, that my having a daughter was something you couldn’t handle.”
“How could you think that? Fiona is a great kid, and I love her as if she was mine. I thought you could tell that much.”
“What about all that sneaking around? That was when I first began to …”
Now it was my turn to look down. “Yes, I can see how that might look, but I had to find your ring size, and Fi’s, without giving the game away. Obviously I mucked it up, I’m sorry.”
“So am I.” Finally she picked up one of the ring boxes.
“Other one.” I said. “On condition that I’m forgiven.” She handed the one she had chosen to Fiona and then took the second one. She opened it and stared at the ring inside.
“I suppose I can forgive you.” Fi finally released my hand and opened the box her mother had passed over.
“It’s lovely mommy. Duncan, can I put it on?”
“Let me.” I said. I carefully slipped the ring onto her small finger. She held it up to show her mother. I took the ring Sophie was holding and slipped hers on too. “Am I really forgiven?” I asked. Sophie hugged me. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
Fiona tugged on my arm. “I know you didn’t like to be Uncle Duncan, so does this mean that I can call you daddy instead?”
Sophie and I looked into each others eyes. Imperceptively she nodded. “If you want Fiona. Yes, you can call me daddy.”

Space wreck

A different sort of romance. Well, maybe not really a romance at all, just a story with romantic leanings.


The bulkheads were failing one after the other, we couldn’t keep pressure in the spaces around the meteorite hit. I told the captain and he ordered us to forget it, to abandon ship. I told my damage control party to evacuate, but leave the closest escape pod for me. I was going to give the rest of the crew time by sealing the doors behind me as I went. I reported to the captain one last time, telling him my intentions. He wasn’t too happy, but could see my logic. He wished me luck and then boarded the bridge pod. I was sealing the last door, next to the last pod, and could hear the bulkheads collapsing one after the other, getting closer and closer as they failed, each one quicker than the one before it. I dived into the open pod and slammed the airlock shut. The ship imploded as I hit the release. Some fragment or other deflected the pod from its intended course, throwing it away from the rest of the escape pods. I was thrown around the cabin and hit my head. I blacked out.
I awoke with a groan. The pod had stabilised and I was lying down on one of the bunks, a medi-pack across my forehead. Puzzled, I sat up carefully. What was going on? I was supposed to be the only one here, everyone else had abandoned before I got to the airlock. I caught a movement to my left and turned to see what it was. There was a girl I’d never seen before checking the instruments. I swung my legs out of the bunk and attempted to stand. I was still a bit groggy however, and staggered before I caught hold of something, the edge of the bunk I think, and steadied myself. The girl must have seen me and was suddenly beside me.
“Steady, that was a really bad smack on the head.”
“What happened? And more importantly, who are you and where did you come from?”
“Well, in the order you asked, we hit a piece of debris as we released, which span us out of control and away from everybody else.” She grinned matter-of-factly. I was mesmerised by her blue eyes. “Secondly, I’m Lisa Hughes.” She faltered for a moment. “As for where I came from.” Now she looked down, the smile slipping from her face. “I’ve been here the whole voyage. I’m a stowaway.”
“A stowaway? How? Everything is checked.” My legs seemed steadier now so I stood.
“I’m good at hiding.” She shrugged.
“All right, it’s too late for repercussions now. What’s our status?”
“As far as I can tell, we were batted away at least ninety degrees, and the radio is out I think. I haven’t looked at anything else; I don’t know enough to say what is or isn’t working.” I started to walk towards the controls but my legs were still rubberery. Lisa caught me and helped me to the pilot’s chair.
“One thing I have to ask.” I said as I slid into the seat. “Why didn’t you eject earlier?”
“You were still out there, buying time. I thought I should wait for you.”
“You’d have been safe if you’d left me.” I stated flatly.
“I might have been here illegally, and I admit I’ve done many things that I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t just leave someone to die.” She looked crestfallen.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just my job to assess risks and act on them. Logically, you should have gone. I’m glad you didn’t.” I paused. “I probably would have stayed too, logic isn’t everything.” I ran my eyes over the controls. All the readouts appeared fine. I tried shifting the direction we’d been sent in, but nothing happened.
“I tried that.” Lisa said from her standing position behind me. “It felt like something was jamming the steering.”
“I think you’re right. In which case, we’ll have to hope we don’t run into anything head on.”
“You can’t fix it?” She asked worriedly.
“Not from in here. Whatever we hit left something stuck in the glide fins.”
“You mean we’ll just keep going until we hit something?”
“Maybe. Hopefully it will work loose when we hit a planet’s atmosphere, at least enough to give me landing control.”
“And that’s your plan? Wait until we hit something? Brilliant!”
“Well unless you have a space suit hidden somewhere so I can go outside, yes.”
“What about the radio?”
“Could be anything, I’m not great at communications.” She snorted and crossed her arms. I had a look at the automatically updated supplies list. “Some of the food and water are missing.”
“I had to eat something while I was hiding here.”
“I suppose you had to have food, but there seems to be a lot of water gone. That’ll just mean we have to be careful, we don’t know how long we’ll be in here. Ration the food and water. No unnecessary wastage.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“No washing for a start, we use the sonic shower instead.”
“What? That’s not the same. I like a proper shower.”
“Tough, it wasn’t me who used up a third of the stored water!” Lisa turned and stormed off to the main bunk room. I sighed. I knew I had been harsh, but I had to make her see the reality of the situation.

The next couple of days were pretty tense between us, neither of us speaking more than a bare minimum to the other. Lisa thought I was being too draconian, I thought she hadn’t grasped the problems we had. She spent most of her time in the bunkroom where it was obvious she had been stowed away, occasionally going into the galley or coming to see what I was doing. I tried easing the controls one way then another then a third way, just to see if I could get any movement. The joystick eased a little, but not enough to regain any sort of control. It was obvious they needed some sort of jolt to free up properly. That however was impossible from inside. I had worked out a rationing system with the computer, mainly for the water and we were both sticking to it. The later part of the second day I noticed that Lisa had missed a meal. Deciding that we couldn’t go on like this, I went to the galley and got her rations and then took them to her.
Lisa was lying on a bunk, reading the emergency manual for the pod. She looked up as I came in.
“I brought your food. We don’t need to skip meals yet.” I said with a grin, hoping that was the right conciliatory tone.
“Thanks.” She said taking the proffered plate. As she ate I took the chance to look at her properly for the first time. She had a pretty face, sometimes obscured by her curly dark blonde hair. The loose jumpsuit she wore hid her figure fairly effectively, but there were hints she might be a bit of a stunner.
“Find anything in the book?” I asked. She looked suspiciously at me.
“I don’t know.” She stared straight at me with her blue eyes flashing. “Are you teasing me?”
“No, absolutely not.” I waved my hands. “It’s been a long time since I had to service one of these, I may have forgotten something.” I sat next to her. “So, what have you found out?”
“Well these pods are fitted with lots of useful bits and pieces if you’re stranded on a planet.”
“Such as?”
“There’s a small bio pod that lets you grow food when it’s deployed, a water purifier, some basic tools, things like that.”
“But nothing that can help us until we get onto the ground somewhere?” I was hoping that I’d forgotten something.
“I haven’t found anything, sorry.”
“Not your fault. I should have remembered the manual as well.” I sighed. “My first command, and I have no control. Great.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. Thanks to you everyone else got clear in time.” Lisa rested her hand on my knee. It felt comforting. “We’ll just have to hope you’re right about the controls when we do reach a planet.”
“Well they do seem to have loosened up a little now. Not enough for any major manoeuvres but when we see a planet I should be able to edge towards it.”
“Will we make it?” Suddenly Lisa looked scared for the first time. The hand on my knee clenched tighter. I took it and held it.
“I’d be lying if I said it was going to be easy Lisa, but we can still get out of this alive, although we may need some luck.”
“Thank you for the truth.” She took her hand back. “I’ve just realised, it’s been two days and I haven’t asked you your name.”
I laughed. “Chief Petty Officer Dave Lynton at your service, m’am.” I said, giving a mock salute. “Now, eat up. And then brush up on all the emergency landing procedures, you may have to put some of them into use.”
“Yessir.” She gave me the first grin for two days and saluted back, although it was with the wrong hand.

We had been plunging through empty space for a week when Lisa saw a planet, a blue planet, on the scope. Blue meant water and oxygen. The locked controls were now loose enough for a little steering, so I edged our escape craft towards it. We had decided days ago that when a suitable planet came up we would take our chances and try to set down on it. The little pod got closer and closer to the planet. With a bit of a struggle we managed to get onto an approach that wouldn’t just bounce us off the atmosphere. Lisa put up the heat shields. Then we were through into the upper stratosphere. The craft heated up. I kept jiggling the controls to try and free them up some more; it seemed to be working, but we were still too fast to make a safe landing. With a little more control I tried to put us into a stall pattern to lose some speed. It helped, but not enough. Lisa spoke for the first time in two hours.
“Should I deploy the emergency drag sail? Or are we going too quickly?”
I hesitated for a moment. I’d forgotten about the big metal drag chute the pod had, but would it work? Or would it just rip off?
“Do it! And then cross your fingers. And everything else.”
The huge metal plate deployed with a loud clang. The deceleration was massive, throwing the pair of us about in our seats even though we were strapped in. The pod started to respond to the controls for the first time since its launch. The strain on the drag sail was immense though, it wasn’t intended for such drastic manoeuvres. After a couple of minutes the connections gave out and we lost it. But it had slowed us enough so that I had gained complete control over the pod, as long as I wanted to go down.
“Lose the heat shields too!” I ordered. Deftly Lisa jettisoned the heavy shields and opened up the vis-screen. “Now look for a landing spot.”
“As opposed to a crashing spot?” Lisa grinned. “How about there?” She pointed. “Open ground, water, some vegetation to slow the crash.”
“I see it.” I eased the pod around. “You’re not supposed to enjoy crashing you know.”
“Sorry, I’m new at this.”
“Brace yourself, we’re going in.” I aimed our little craft at the middle of an open expanse of ground. Under normal conditions I would have hovered and selected a soft landing in an appropriate area, but I wasn’t able to be fussy. As we got closer to the ground I eased the nose up and started to dump the last of the momentum. Just before the tail hit the ground I levelled out again and we finally touched the ground. We slid across the plain, getting closer and closer to the forestry. I wondered if I could slide us around. I hauled on the joystick one last time and our faithful escape craft slewed around until the tail bumped gently into a tree. I slumped in my seat. “That was not fun.” I stated tiredly.
“You mean that wasn’t a normal landing?” Lisa laughed. I looked over at her. She was as dishevelled as I was. “Never mind Sir. They say any landing you walk away from is a good one.”
“Are you being insubordinate Miss Hughes?”
“Me sir? No sir.” We both burst out laughing. It was obviously relief after the harrowing landing. Lisa unstrapped herself and leant forward, checking out the instrument readings. “Definitely got oxygen, and water. Shall I deploy the bio pod?”
“You might as well. We’ll have to test to see what plant life is edible.”
“Oh! There’s a thing for that too.”
“Okay. Find it later. I want to open the hatch and see what sort of planet this is.” I held out my hand to Lisa. “And I think we should do it together.” She blushed, but took the proffered hand.
We stood on the threshold and looked out on a new landscape. Apart from the scar left across the plain by our abrupt arrival it was unsullied by anything. A pure clean world. As we stepped out I was determined to keep it as much like this as possible. Lisa clutched my hand tightly. “It’s beautiful.” She murmured. “I hope we don’t spoil it just by being here.”
“No, we’ll try and leave it like this.” I smiled at her. “So no detergents when you have a shower.” I pointed towards the stream which ran over a low cliff in a gentle waterfall. She grinned and then ducked back inside, presumably to find a towel. I left her to enjoy herself and followed the stream for a mile or so, paralleling the line of our landing. It ran into a lake. There I found the first sign of life on our new home: Fish snapping at insects. I wondered what other animals there might be here. As if in answer two birds swooped low over the waters surface. There seemed to be enough here to support us if we were never found. I turned and made my way back to the pod, collecting some firewood on the way; might as well make a start I thought.

Night had fallen and the sky seemed full of unfamiliar stars. The fire crackled noisily. The smell of the two fish I had caught cooking was drifting over the camp. Lisa was lying on her back, hands behind her head, looking up at the stars. She looked content and at peace for the first time since I’d met her. Two moons were rising, bathing the land in an ethereal glow.
“How far from the normal space lanes are we?” She suddenly asked me.
“I’m not sure. Pretty far I should think. We didn’t pass any spaceship on our way here, so we could be here a while.”
“I don’t think I mind; it’s so nice and quiet here.” She sat up. “We will be all right, won’t we?”
“There’s more than enough to live on, I haven’t seen anything big enough to trouble us, I think we’ll be fine for as long as it takes.” I stroked my chin; I hadn’t shaved in a week. “But I’ll have a look at the radio and the beacon tomorrow and see if I can get them working.”
“No rush.” She lay back down and resumed her gazing at the multitude of stars.
“Fish is nearly ready.” I said, twisting around the stick they were impaled on. She didn’t answer, she was asleep. I sighed and took the cooked meal from the flames, laying them on a plate. As I picked at one I took the opportunity to look at Lisa. I had been right; she was a stunner, everything in perfect proportion, and these mesmerising eyes! I shook myself. This was no time to be falling for her. Other things needed to be done. I lay back myself and started to list them in my head, but they would all have to wait until tomorrow.

I awoke in the cold light of the morning by the remains of the smouldering fire. Lisa wasn’t where she’d fallen asleep. I looked about, worried that I’d been wrong and some creature had taken her in the night. And then I heard a yelp followed by the sound of laughter coming from the waterfall. I went towards the sounds a little cautiously, unsure what I’d find. I peered over the scrub bushes… And stopped and stared. Lisa was stood under the falling water, her back to me, obviously revelling in the feeling as it cascaded down over her. I hurried away, ashamed that I’d been sneaking up on her, more ashamed that I had seen her naked that way.
The rest of the day I worked hard at all the things on my mental list, scared to talk to Lisa. I’d already decided to never tell her. Eventually though she became curious and trapped me as I slid from the pod roof after fixing the homing beacon.
“Have you been avoiding me today?” She said, wagging her finger under my nose. “You have, haven’t you? Why?”
“I…I’ve been busy, fixing things. You know, the beacon?” I pointed back up to where I’d come from. “Connection had come loose.”
“I thought that there was no hurry? Come on, tell me the truth.” She stood back a moment. “Is it something I did or said last night?” Now she looked worried again.
“No, Lisa. It’s me.” My earlier decision melted in the light of her eyes. “This morning I woke up and couldn’t see you around. I panicked a little and then heard you in the waterfall. When I saw you it was all I could do to turn away. I’m sorry.”
“You got uptight about that? Perhaps you better install a curtain.”
“Good idea…”
“I’m kidding, idiot! And it’s about time you washed too.”
“I’ve been using the sonic shower.”
“That’s not proper washing, that’s just agitating molecules. Now go and stand under the water.” She pushed me up the hill. As I made my way there she called out again. “If you’re lucky, I may come and scrub your back!”

Our lives settled into a regular pattern. Lisa would tend to the bio pod and then go and collect some of the edible plants and fruits we’d discovered. I’d catch one or two fish and then head off into the forest to see if there were any animals we could eat or possibly domesticate. After a month we had found some chicken-like birds and had set some traps. I had checked those daily too. Anything we had caught I returned to the pod. By now we had more than enough to sustain us, and I decided to remove the traps. I always made sure I was out of the camp when Lisa had her shower: I didn’t want to repeat that embarrassment, although she had laughed it off. After our initial distrust we were getting along fine now and I didn’t want to mess things up by doing or saying something inappropriate. Lisa seemed to be born to this sort of life; she revelled in it. That surprised me. She’d appeared to be some sort of spoiled brat, dependant on modern comforts, but I was so wrong. She had adapted better than me, a damage control officer whose whole job was make-do-and-mend.

And then it happened. A month or so after the crash (I refused to justify it as a landing) Lisa had discovered some grain that could be ground and turned into bread and we were celebrating by having egg on toast.
“That was so much better than any other toast I’ve ever had.” I said, brushing the crumbs away.
“Home-made always tastes better.” She replied.
“I’ve got to ask Lisa, why are you so good at this outdoor stuff? Most women I know hate anything outside.”
“I’ve been hitching and stowing away since I was fifteen. I wanted to see the galaxy, and not just from inside a ship, so I just got used to living rough. Although I do admit home-comforts are nice sometimes.”
“You are an amazing girl, you know?” I moved around to her side. “I don’t think I’d have got as much done if it hadn’t been for you.”
“Can I ask a question now?” I nodded, it only seemed fair. “Have you got a girlfriend?”
I wondered where that one came from, and where it was leading. “Not at the moment actually. Any reason for asking?”
“Well…” She looked down and then gave me the blue eyes. “We’ve been here over a month and you haven’t made a move on me. So I figured you must have someone.” I shook my head again. “That leaves me with: you don’t like girls, or you don’t find me even slightly attractive.” I was dumbstruck momentarily. “And I know neither of those is true after the waterfall incident.” Now I turned red and looked away. “So what is it? What is keeping you from kissing me?”
“At this moment? Iron restraint. I… I wasn’t sure you were interested in me.”
“Fool.” She said pulling my face around and kissing me. She broke off after a while. “Well, that was worth waiting for. Can…?” I stifled her question with my mouth. Still kissing, Lisa tugged me to my feet and led me to the pod, the bunkroom…

And now a year has passed since that meteorite hit. Things had settled down, we checked the radio less and less until we didn’t bother anymore: We didn’t need rescuing any more. But there was a ship overhead now. What should we do?
“I don’t want to leave Dave. Do we have too?”
“I don’t see why. They’ll leave us alone if we ask.”
A shuttle touched down gently close to the lake. We went to see it.
“That’s how a landing should be made.” I said.
“Ahh! But they had full control. And yours was more exciting.”
“I still don’t know when you’re pulling my leg.”
“Most of the time actually.”
“Minx.” We had got close to the shuttle now. I could see it was from a colonization ship. A couple of crewmen came out to greet us. They saluted when they saw the remnants of my insignia.
“Knock it off boys. It’s been a while.”
“Sir, how are you here? We thought this planet was uninhabited.”
“It was until a year ago when we crashed.” I paused. “Have you come to build a colony here?”
“Yessir!”
“Can I respectfully request you do it away from us?”
“You… You don’t want to be rescued?”
“We’re happy here thanks.” Lisa spoke for the first time; she was holding my arm tightly. “But you could inform our folks we’re alive if you like.” Now she smiled. “And tell them they’re grandparents!”

The shuttle had gone. The colony was to be built a few hundred miles away; they had stopped only because they had heard the beacon. We were to be left alone, at least for a while longer, until the colony had begun to grow or we felt the need for other companionship. I cradled Eve, our daughter, as Lisa went to the waterfall, and marvelled at the chain of events which had led me to this state of nirvana. And I was happy.

This Years Moment

A tricky choice this year. The Festival Of Speed at Goodwood was great, but tiring. A first visit to Old Warden to see the Shuttleworth Spring air display, (what a beautiful setting that is!). The Silverstone classic included a Santana concert, (another tiring day.). A packed out Cosford Airshow. The replica FW190 at Legends. All good memories.
My Favourite photo of the past year was of MH434 sweeping in at Legends, (of course). Second was the Veyron Pur Sang at Prescott Esses, followed by the Buchon and the FW190 appearing to be welded together again at Legends. However my actual moment of the year remains so vivid that I can still picture it, hear it, almost smell it.

Fathers Day, Kemble, the Tin Triangle, what else?



After stooging around away in the distance distracting everyone for ten minutes, (must have been weird for whoever was displaying at the time, 30,000 people all looking off to the side), 558 started her approach. At the same time the sound of Holst’s ‘Mars- Bringer of War’ came on the tannoy. A perfect fit. So perfect that I expect it every time I see her.
Moment of 2009 for certain.

Old School Ties

Not written with anyone in mind, but one or two real incidents manipulated in. Started some time back, had to come back to it when I got some linking idea's. Turned out well I think.





Dave thought her name was familiar when he got the letter asking him to attend a job interview. When he saw her he knew she was the same woman who ten years previously had been a student teacher for his last term at school. He did well in the interview and she stood and shook his hand at the end saying that he’d got the job and that confirmation in writing would follow in a day or so.
“Excuse me for asking.” Dave said as he stood ready to leave. “But you are the same Miss Victoria Henderson who taught English for a term at Ashton Moor High School aren’t you?”
She looked at him surprised but nodded. “Yes, I did teach for a short while, but I gave it up because it was obvious that all the girls hated me and all the boys just stared and learnt nothing.” She looked hard at him. “You do seem familiar Dave, is there any reason I should remember you?”
Dave looked down for a moment then looked back into her deep blue eyes. “Probably not. I have to admit to the staring, but you gave me a tremendous boost one afternoon, said something that has helped me ever since.”
She motioned him to sit again. He did, wondering whether this was a good idea. “I think I recall you now, but tell me anyway.”
He nervously began to recount what she had said. “A group of us, three boys and a girl were talking about something, I can’t remember what now, but Lisa asked you what you thought we’d be doing in five years time. You said we’d probably all be married. We all laughed and John said that I wouldn’t be because I was gay. You just took one look at me and said there was no way I was, that just by looking you could tell, that I was more masculine than most of the boys in the class.”
“How did that help?”
“I’d always had trouble getting a date, I couldn’t talk to girls, they were scary creatures.” She smiled. “Anyway, Lisa must have told half the girls in our year. After that I had no trouble getting a date, even after I left.”
“I still don’t see how that was my doing.”
“I was the only one who saw the wink, Miss Henderson. You were lying.”
Now she laughed. “So how did that help you then?”
“Suddenly I realised that not all females were scary, that they didn’t all think I was out for one thing only. That was a huge boost to me.”
“But you were! You all were.”
“I was only sixteen; the world was suddenly full of desirable females. I’m sure girls felt the same way.” Dave looked away
She looked him straight in the eye. “Yes, we did. And you think I took pity on you?”
“No, more hoped. Anyway it gave me a new outlook and for that I thank you now.” He got up to leave again. “I’ll never mention it again to anyone here. Thank you for the job too.”

As he left Victoria Henderson sat back and let her mind wander back to those days as a student teacher. That one term had been enough to convince her she wasn’t teacher material. There had been too many young men, full of testosterone, full of the naivety of youth. She wasn’t much older than most of them and the temptations had been enormous. The girls hadn’t liked her because they saw her as a threat, and the boys! The boys had only one thing on their minds and it wasn’t the lesson. She smiled to herself. Dave had been the one who had caught her eye though. She remembered that incident. The others had always been teasing him and he always took it with a shrug. To this day she didn’t know why she’d said what she did, or why she’d winked at him as she said it. Victoria sighed. Water under the bridge. He was still kind of cute though. No! She admonished herself. He was now an employee of the company and she was a representative of the company, nothing could happen. She picked up his file and put it away.

Dave soon settled into his new job. It wasn’t complicated, just checking and filing reports as they came in, but he was conscientious and gained a reputation for reliability. His six month probation was nearly up when he was asked to do a special report and e-mail it to “Miss Henderson”. He completed it and sent it off, finding her company e-mail address in the computers contact file. Pleased with himself he went home. Turning on his home computer he checked his inbox. As he did he noticed that his server was offering valentine day greetings e-cards. Mischievously he decided to send one to Victoria; after all, she didn’t know his personal e-mail address did she? So it would still be anonymous. He added a flirty message and sent it.
He was a bit worried the next day at work, but no summons to see his supervisor arrived and he relaxed. He got home and checked his e-mails as he always did. He’d got a reply from Victoria! The message was one of curiosity and was also a little bit flirtatious. He replied in kind without thinking too much. The next day he worried all day again, but when he got home once more there was another message. This exchange of e-mails went on for nearly three weeks. Then on a Saturday night, when he’d had a little too much to drink, he sent Victoria a message that went beyond flirting. That Sunday was agonising for Dave as he realised what he’d done. As he lay awake that night, unable to sleep, he decided he’d better confess first thing in the morning, before she opened the e-mail, and take whatever happened.

Victoria was a little surprised to see Dave outside her office when she arrived. “Hello David, I didn’t think we had a meeting today. You finished your probation a couple of weeks ago.” She smiled as he jumped.
“Yes, yes I did. This isn’t about that.”
“Come in and tell me what it is then.” She said, opening her office door. Dave reluctantly followed her in. “Sit down.” She indicated the chair.
“I think I’d better stand.”
“What is it then?” Victoria said, sitting at her desk and turning on her computer.
“Errrr, can I ask you not to open your e-mails Miss Henderson?” Dave stuttered.
“Why ever not?”
“Because.” He took a deep breath. “Because it’s been me sending you those e-mails. And the one that I sent Saturday when I’d had too much to drink, is a little, well, racy.”
“Oh, it’s too late for that. I accessed them from home yesterday.” She smiled. Dave’s shoulders slumped. “I knew they were from you anyway Dave, but thank you for your honesty.” He looked up in shock. “Don’t look so surprised, you gave me your e-mail address when you applied for the job.”
“So why haven’t you had me sacked?”
“Why would I do that?” She saw the surprise on his face. “It was nice to read ALL of your messages. Everyone here sees me as some sort of ice maiden, but you don’t seem to. Why is that?”
“I suppose I still see you as that student teacher who helped me out. Will I get into trouble for this?”
“I don’t think so, but it might be better if you used my home e-mail address.” Victoria pushed a piece of paper across her desk. Tentatively Dave picked it up and carefully opened it; still a little afraid she was pulling his leg, but it was just an e-mail address. “I’ll look forward to your next message then.” Victoria smiled.
Dave stumbled out of the office and found his way to his own desk, his head spinning. He hardly dared to believe it; she actually seemed to be enjoying the attention. Somehow he managed to get through the day after he got his mind back onto his work. He went home and turned on his computer; he had mail. Victoria had replied to Saturday’s message. He sat and tried to think what to write back, but nothing came. When he’d thought she didn’t know who was sending them it had seemed easy; now however he just couldn’t think. A long forgotten piece of advice came back to him. “Write as if you are talking.” Where had he heard that? At school… And then he remembered; it had been Victoria. He smiled to himself and began to type, a totally different sort of message to the ones he had been sending.

Victoria was wondering if she had done the right thing by encouraging Dave, but his messages had been witty and intelligent and fun to read, although that last one had been a bit near to the knuckle. It was the teacher in her, the one that couldn’t cope with a class, but could recognise a talent for writing however it manifested itself. There was a ding from her computer, she had left it on with the e-mail alert enabled and had sat down to look through some reports. It could be from anyone, she thought, after all lots of people have my e-mail address. Nevertheless she felt her heart beating a little faster as she hurried over to her machine. This is stupid she told herself, I should not be applauding him, but he has such a sweet way with words. I don’t remember that from my days teaching him, I wonder how he developed it. It was from Dave. She opened it up. It was a bit longer than usual. She began to read…

The e-mails passed to and fro between them for a month or more. Sometimes Dave just wrote replies or messages, but sometimes he included a story he’d written. Victoria looked forward to reading those. More and more he asked her advice on what he called his ‘long story’. It was something he’d been writing on and off for many years, but he was close to finishing it now, well the basic storyline anyway. Victoria was more than happy to suggest alternatives or additions. There was a huge info dump in one chapter that he wasn’t happy with and she tried to think of some way to spread the information out without destroying the pace of the rest of the piece, but nothing came to either of them, so it stayed in.
Then one day Dave got a message asking him to come round to Victoria’s flat. Puzzled, he typed a quick reply and then made his way over there. He rang the bell and was let in.
“Thanks for coming over Dave. I have some things I need to ask you and some information too.” Now his curiosity was piqued as well. Victoria showed him into the lounge and went to make coffee. “The first thing I need to know is are you happy at the company?”
“Well, yes, I suppose so.”
“Good. Then there is a post coming up that I think you should apply for. You can do the job, and I want to make your position safe.”
“Why? What’s happening?”
“They want to make some changes, and some of the jobs in your office are going. But if you get this new post, you’ll be all right. Here are the details and an application form. Just don’t mess up the interview, because I won’t be there.” Dave had a nasty suspicion forming in his mind.
“Why not? What’s happening to you?”
“My post is going completely. But I don’t mind because I want to go back to teaching.”
“You do?” Dave asked in surprise.
“Yes. Helping you has reawakened my desire to teach. I want to teach again, all the problems I had before will have gone.”
“Oh, I don’t know. The boys will still stare and the girls will still see you as a threat, you’re still a looker you know.” He grinned.
“Thank you for that unsolicited praise.” She laughed. “But I’m better equipped to handle that now. My ice maiden will help there.” She paused. “The truth is, I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of weeks, and now they want to lose some middle management, me, the time is right for me to try again.”
“I wish I could say I won’t miss you, but I will. Is there no other post you could fill?”
“Maybe, but I want to try this.” She smiled at him. “Anyway, we can still keep in touch can’t we?”
“Sure. I still need help.”
“No you don’t, but thanks for thinking that.” They both grinned. Dave wasn’t sure about what was happening; it felt like Victoria was trying to push him away.
“You said ‘questions’ when I came in, what else is on your mind?” This time she looked away for a moment. When she looked back he could see that she was blushing.
“I’ve always wondered, those ‘secret’ e-mails, did you mean what you wrote in them?” He sat next to her and took her hand.
“I meant every word, even the smutty ones.” He hesitated, but this seemed as good a time as any. “You see Miss Henderson; I’ve had a crush on you since that wink.”
“An older woman too?” She grinned. He grinned back.
“Not that much older, you make yourself sound ancient.”
“It feels like that sometimes.” She sighed. “I think I ought to tell you, you caught my eye too, back then.”
“I did?” There was genuine surprise in his voice.
“You did. You always stood out from the other boys, more serious, more considerate than the others. I always enjoyed teaching you, then and now.” Another sigh. “And then you turned up in my office.”
“What are we going to do about it?” Dave asked.
“There’s not much we can do is there? I’ll be leaving soon and going away to teacher training college. Maybe one of us should have said something sooner?”
“Maybe. We’ll still keep in touch though, won’t we?”
“Of course! I want to read everything you write, and you need to get that novel published.”
“Novel? Oh, the long story. I still think it needs polishing.”
“So send it to someone and see what they say.”
“I didn’t write it for that, I told you.”
“Why ever you wrote it, I think it’s good enough to be published, so try, for me if not for you.”
“All right already. You don’t need to nag.”
“I think I do. I know you need pushing.” There was a twinkle in her eye. Dave had a sudden feeling and on impulse acted on it. He kissed her. She didn’t pull away as he had feared, but instead kissed back.

They had a small party at the office the day Victoria left to say goodbye. Dave wasn’t the only one who knew she’d be missed, but he felt worse than all the others, mainly because he felt he was losing a soul mate. He tried to put on a brave face and failed abysmally. Well-wishers came and went, everyone toasting Victoria and hoping she would be happy. Dave waited until the last moment and asked her how she was getting home, offering to take her. She accepted and he drove her home. She would have been merry but for the fact she was leaving behind so many good friends. He helped her to the door. “When are you leaving for the college?” He asked, finally allowing the misery he felt creep into his voice.
“Tomorrow. I got lucky with the way the terms fell.”
“Will I ever see you again?”
“Of course you will. And once you’ve settled into your new job and I’m sorted, we can send our e-mails again.”
“I’m going to miss you Miss Henderson, who else can I have a sensible conversation with?” He kissed her softly and hugged her.
“This isn’t the end you know? Look on it as a new beginning.” She whispered in his ear.
“I liked it as it was.” Suddenly he couldn’t bear it any longer. He hugged her again and then turned away and left, tears starting to form in his eyes. He couldn’t let her see him like this. “Goodbye Victoria.” He whispered.
She caught his whisper. “See you around Dave.” She said quietly.

It felt strange for Dave, going into a classroom again, but this was where the writing club was meeting. Since the success of his two novels he had managed to get all his short stories published in one volume. This in turn had led to the invite to speak to this club back at his old school. He would have come anyway, but the fact that Victoria was in charge of the club had guaranteed it. Three years had passed since she’d decided to go back to teacher training college. In those three years she had still helped him hone his first two novels until they were published. The things she’d taught him had made the second one much easier to write, but she had still been the first one to read it, he’d wanted her approval before sending it off to the editor. Though they were still in constant contact, this would be their first meeting for over a year, since she had somehow managed to get a teaching job back here at his old school. Victoria met him at the door.
“Hello Dave. Long time, no see.” She said, kissing him on the cheek. He responded by kissing her properly. She looked at him in surprise.
“Sorry about that, but it’s been too long.” He smiled.
“Thanks for coming; everyone is so looking forward to meeting you.”
“How could I refuse my muse?”
“Will you be all right? With the talking I mean. You always hated talking in public.”
“I’ve got used to it on the promo tours. Now lead on Miss Henderson.”
She introduced him to her club. “Well people, I’d like to introduce an old pupil from here. I actually taught him for a term before I left teaching for a while.” He received a warm welcome. The members of the club were all interested in finding new ways to write. Before the questions started though Dave pulled out several slim new books.
“This has just been published.” He said. “It’s a collection of poems, companions to the short stories. I’d like you to share them.” He passed them out to the eager novice writers. “This one, however, is special.” He passed it to Victoria. She opened it and read the inscription he’d written and smiled at him. Then he began to talk. He told them some of the tricks he had picked up. He even told them about writing an ending if they got stuck and working towards it, explaining he sometimes did this when the characters seemed to be steering the story, that way he had some way of controlling them. He knew Victoria wasn’t fond of this method, but she didn’t seem to mind about him telling them about it. They asked questions about characters and storylines. He explained as much as he could remember, carefully skirting the fact that half of the women in his short stories at least were based on Victoria. He told them not to be afraid of using real people and situations, but to try and disguise them. The hour flew by and Dave was surprised when Victoria called a halt to the questioning.
“So, are there any last questions?” She asked.
“Actually, I have a question that I’d like to ask you.” Dave said, moving to where she was sat.
“All right.” She said, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.
“Will you, Miss Victoria Henderson, marry me?” He said, dropping onto one knee before her. There was a cheer from the club, one or two of them having worked out that she was the subject of more than one story and poem. Victoria looked embarrassed, but held his outstretched hand.
“Of course I will.” She said, kissing him.

A Message

I’m sitting and staring at the rain, wishing that you were here, but you’re not. I’ve missed seeing your beautiful face, your enchanting smile, and your sparkling eyes. I remember all the fun we’ve had, the places we’ve been and the things we’ve seen. From museums to castles, planes, trains and cars, concerts and plays, we’ve shared them all. And all the wonderful things we’ve seen have been enlightened by your enjoyment of them. Sure, there have been trips that didn’t work out as we wanted, it rained or something was closed or it wasn’t what we expected, but you never complained. You just smiled and made the best of it, and I love you for that, it was never my fault. I bought you things, never wanting anything but that wonderful smile in return, which I always got. But I got so much more back, not especially material things, but things I treasured: Thank you’s, hugs and kisses, but mainly memories. Memories of your enjoyment and excitement at seeing something new or special. I tried not to impose my views on what was special on you, and I think I succeeded. You love the same things I do, and usually in the same way, so our trips were always an adventure for both of us.
So, I sit and watch the rain, waiting for the time you return, planning our next escapade, missing you while you’re doing what you have to do. Come home soon my beloved daughter.



This is a follow on from 'Two Notes' I suppose. Same wonderings, same thoughts.

Two Notes, Two Calls

One of favourite things to write. Began as some ramblings about what it might be like to be a father. Then I thought I could turn it into something else. Had the idea about the format and everything just fell into place. I used the characters from 'Grid Girl' but not for any real reason. I don't know if fathers really feel like this, but I do know that this is how I would feel about a daughter.



My Darling Daughter Emerald,
You are off to Uni and we are not parting under the best of terms, so I’m slipping this note into the book you’re taking on the train in the hope you’ll read it. I realise the argument today was mainly my fault. But I’m just being your father, you know, over-protective of my little girl, because you’ll always be my little girl no matter how old you are, sorry. I’ve always loved you since before you were born, but the moment that clinched it was when I first held you in my arms and saw your beautiful eyes. Then your tiny hand clasped around my little finger and I was truly hooked, a father at last. In the eighteen or so years since then we’ve had our disagreements, especially the last five, but I can never be angry with you for long. I said I’d never interfere with your life, but that was what I was I doing tonight and I’m sorry. You must do what you think best. Your mother has told me I misunderstood what you were trying to tell me, but wouldn’t elaborate, saying we must work it out between ourselves. I agree with her as I nearly always do, so here goes.
I have and always will love you. We have grown apart as you grew up. It was inevitable I suppose. When you were a toddler I was always your protector, the one you came too if you were in trouble and I miss that. I was your mothers ‘ultimate deterrent’ if you misbehaved, but you and she both knew that the worst I would do was withhold your sweets, and even then I’d give in after a couple of hours. As you became a teen, you had questions that I wasn’t comfortable with answering so you had to turn to your Mom. That couldn’t be helped as she is much better qualified to answer those questions than I, but it pained me not to be able to help you.
I won’t apologise for terrifying your boyfriends, that is what Dad’s do, no boy is ever good enough for our daughter, but I do hope I didn’t put too much of a crimp in all the partying you deny went on.
I loved giving you things that made you smile; an ice cream, sweeties, my old camera, they all resulted in that beautiful smile and a ‘thanks Dad’. You always thought I was jealous of all the views your pictures got on the web, but you were wrong: I was proud, so proud that I bought you a better camera than I had! And you repaid me handsomely by taking even better photo’s, (and of course with another beautiful smile AND a hug!) Emerald, your pictures have always been better than mine, except when it comes to old planes of course, and that is the crux of the matter. NEVER give up with the camera, even if it’s only taking pictures of your life for your old Dad.
I’ll end now, as my eyes are watering. I just want to say you will always be the apple of my eye and will never disappoint me. Call me so I can apologise properly.

Your Doting Dad


Dear Daddy,
This wasn’t how I wanted to leave for university, so I’ve written this note for you and left it on your desk in the hope you’ll read it. I’m sorry about our argument, but you were trying to do the one thing you said you wouldn’t; interfere with my life decisions. The fact that you misunderstood what I was telling you is immaterial, I lost my temper and didn’t tell you that and was just arguing for the sake of it. For that I am truly sorry. Forgive me for that.
You were always the one I came too if I had a problem or when I was in trouble and I suspect Mom doesn’t know half of the things you did for me. As I got older I came to you with questions that I now realise you could never answer and I had to go to Mom. I suspect that was when you realised I was growing up faster than you wanted me to, but that was something beyond both our control. I’m grateful that you took a step back and didn’t try to keep me as your little girl.
I’ve left you my camera, the one you got me when I was ten, because I think you should use it. It must have cost an arm and a leg and needs to be used. Take it to some airshows and get some of those wonderful shots you take so well of those beautiful planes. I always enjoyed the airshows and the other places you took me and Mom, and they pleasure they gave you (and me I suppose!) You are always so proud of my pictures, even when I was little and you couldn’t fool me when you moaned I was getting more views than you: I know you probably built them up by looking at them all yourself so I never had a picture without any views at all.
Dad, I’m desperately sorry that we argued and really want to call you once I’m settled in, but I don’t know if you’ll answer me. Suddenly there seems to be no one between me and the world and it scares me.

Your Loving Daughter, Emerald


“Mom, is that you? I’ve just found the note that Dad left for me. Oh Mom, it’s so beautiful, it made me cry.”
“Emmie, I’m glad you liked it. You should know by now that your father is better at writing how he feels than saying it, even to us.”
“Did he show it you? Has he found the note I left him?”
“I read both of the notes before you left Emerald.”
“Why didn’t you tell me when you dropped me off at the station?”
“Because this is between you and your father dear, I wasn’t there, I don’t know what you were arguing about. You and he need to work this out.”
“Mom, I left my camera there! I thought he could use it. But he wants me to use it. He must think I did it to spite him.”
“And that’s what you really think is it my girl?”
“No! Never. But… but he might.”
“Your father might?”
“He won’t will he? What should I do Mom? These are the situations Dad gets me out of.”
“So call him and ask him to bring you the camera, you silly thing.”


“Dad? This is Emmie…”

The Grid Girl

Another story with a stop-start creation. First began in July after the Silverstone Classic, got stuck, came back to it, stuck again. Then had an idea about giving it two endings. Wrote the first one, liked it so much never wrote the other one. Just had to work to the ending then. The girl does exsist, she's on my Flickr photostream, but everything afterwards is wishful thinking.


I can’t say that I noticed her particularly to start with; she was just one of the girls who came out to mark the grid positions. After three or four races I realised that each girl always marked the same grid row, and as I was generally on the corner looking up the paddock (the cars were lining up in the paddock before exiting out into the pit lane) she was often in the viewfinder of my camera. And she was always smiling and turning towards any camera pointed in her direction. I smiled back, but if she saw me she didn’t let on.
I spent most of the first day dodging between the grid line-up and one or two of my favourite spots to take photos from. (There aren’t that many at the circuit, the catch fencing gets in the way a lot.) She always seemed interested in what was going on around her, and, like I said, she always had a smile on her face. Row 4 was her station, a big pole with the number on so that the drivers could see where they were to pull up. A pretty blue-eyed blonde. She wore what all the girls wore; a white sponsors t-shirt, shortish black skirt and flat shoes. When the girls had first appeared, walking down the pit lane, they mostly had been carrying heeled shoes, but they were obviously unsuitable for standing around all day.

After the last race had started I wandered off to take a few pictures of the race, and then made my way to where the concert, the Santana concert at that, would be taking place. I found a spot not far from the front and sat down on the ground to wait. I went through the day’s pictures and started to weed out some of the ones I wasn’t going to use. In the background I could hear the last race winding its way to its finish, and then that too went quiet. On the stage the roadies checked the instruments, and the lighting guys tested the spots and the stage lights. The sun had left the sky, daylight bleeding gently from the sky. As it got darker, the concert started, Carlos Santana playing like the rock god he is. I raised my camera. After a couple of songs there was movement beside me. I glanced around and saw that about half of the grid girls had just arrived. They were milling around each other laughing and chatting. I looked back to the stage and took a few more shots. The crowd was swaying, singing along, playing air guitar, most of the usual concert activities. I switched my weight to try and relieve some of the ache in my legs (it had been a long day). As I did so, the person next to me moved as well. We bumped each other. “Sorry.” We both said looking at each other. She smiled. It was number 4. She looked a bit different in her civvies.
“You’re one of the girls from the grid aren’t you? Number 4?” I said.
“I am indeed.” She said, still smiling. “You’ve been photographing me all day haven’t you?”
“Not exactly.” I said a little shamefaced. “To start with I was trying to shoot round you, then I thought ‘what the hell’ and started shooting you and the others as well.”
“Get some good pictures?”
“Of you? Yes actually.”
“Good.” She grinned and held out her hand. “I’m Gemma, my friends call me Gem.” I shook her hand.
“Pleased to meet you Gemma. I’m Dave.” I was about to say something else but stopped.
“What were you going to say?”
“I was going to say something like Gem was a perfect name for such a beautiful jewel, but thought you’d probably heard it all before.”
“That’s sweet of you.” She smiled again. “He’s not bad for an old guy is he?” She said indicating the guitarist on stage.
“He is one of the great guitarists, maybe not as good as Jimi or Gilmour, but he has his own style.”
“Jimi?”
“Hendrix, and Dave Gilmour.”
“Oh, I have heard them.”
“I thought no-one under thirty would have heard of them.”
“My parents, I hear a lot of older music.”

We stood next to each other for the rest of the gig, swaying to the music, singing, playing air guitar. The music ended and Santana left the stage. The crowd began to make its way out. Gemma stayed by my side as we walked amongst the many that had stayed for the concert. I asked her where she was from, and then laughed when she told me, only twenty miles from me; I passed it on the way here. Gem looked at me so oddly I had to tell her why.
“Where are you staying?” She suddenly asked me.
“I’m camping in the field beyond the grandstand, near the hotel.” I replied, wondering where she was going with this line of questioning.
“We’re all at the Hotel.” She said, indicating some of the other grid girls around us. “It’s a bit cramped though, three to a room.” A smirk crossed my face. “What are you thinking about?” Gem prodded me.
“Sorry.” I said, reddening. “It’s a bloke thing, three pretty girls in one room, I was getting visions.” She giggled.
“You didn’t need to tell me that, you know.”
“I have a problem with not telling the truth. I can never remember who I told what, so I always tell it like it is.”
“Can’t make you popular?”
“Nope! But it does save time, and little white lies are easier. If you always tell the truth, little fibs slip through unnoticed.”
“I think I like that.”
By now we had crossed the infield of the circuit and were heading towards the exit. The crowd had thinned out as people went different ways. The other grid girls were ahead of us. Gemma stopped me. “Can we meet in the morning? We’ve got an early meeting, but then a gap until the first race, about eight?” I looked into her eyes for the first time and saw she was serious.
“All right. How about that coffee stand there?” I pointed. “But maybe you shouldn’t come alone. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was up to no good.” She giggled again.
“I suppose I could ask Adele to come with me, if it worries you.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you in the morning then?” She nodded, and then scampered off to catch up with her friends.

It was about ten to eight when Gemma and her friend Adele appeared. They were wearing similar clothing to the day before. I was waiting near the coffee stand which was just opening. “Good morning ladies. How would you like your coffee?”
“White, no sugar please.” Gemma answered. Adele just nodded, looking at me suspiciously. As I waited for the drinks I could hear them talking.
“Are you sure, Gem? He looks a bit old?” Adele was asking.
“Oh Ad! Don’t be so judgemental. He’s a sweetie. And he asked me to bring a chaperone.” Gemma admonished her friend. I collected the drinks and carried them over.
“And how are you two lovely ladies this fine if chilly morning?” Gemma giggled while Adele rolled her eyes.
“Well I’m fine, but I think Ad has a hangover!” Adele grunted.
“How can you both be so chirpy at this time of day?” She moaned.
“Well, I’m meeting two pretty girls, why should I be sad?” I asked. Gem giggled again, and Adele even smirked.
“Personally, I think Gem is off her head, and you’re no better.” Gemma and I both burst out laughing. Adele gave in and laughed too. “So, Mr Photographer, you going to be taking our pictures again today?”
“I may snap you a few times, but I thought I might get some car shots. It is why I came.”
“All right Gem. You win. He’s for real.” Adele gave me a genuine smile and held out her hand. “I’m Ad, and it was me that got Gem here into this.”
“Pleased to meet you Ad.” I shook her hand. “Going to be a busy day?”
“Maybe not so much for me. I’m marking row 10. Only about half the races have twenty or more cars. Gem will be busy though.”
“I did offer to swap Ad.” Gemma said quietly.
“Oh don’t worry babe, the pay is the same whether I have to walk all that way or not.” She looked over at the burger bar that was just opening. “I could do with a bite to eat, anyone hungry?” Gemma and I both shook our heads. Adele went to get herself something to eat.
“Will we be able to meet during the day?” I asked.
“Not sure. The races today are close together.” Gemma looked thoughtful. “The last race is a two hour one. Once it starts I’ll be free.”
“Can we meet for a while then?” I asked a little tentatively.
“Oh, yes please!” She said.
“Gem! We need to be going.” Adele called over. Reluctantly Gemma stood and followed her friend. Again I could hear them talking.
“What do you think Ad?”
“Weeelllll, he seems genuine, but are you sure Gem?” Their voices faded as they walked off.

I managed to speak to her two or three times during the day. She was right about the races; most of them were shorter ones. This meant almost as soon as one started, the next one was forming up in the paddock. The girls were kept busy. During our brief discussions Gemma and I agreed where I would meet her after the start of the last race and an approximate time. The rest of the day I spent doing what I had originally planned to do, taking pictures of cars.
I took a few pictures of the final race and then headed for my appointment. We had agreed to meet where we had split up the previous evening, about halfway between the hotel and the campsite entrance. Although I was a little early, I was disappointed Gem wasn’t already there. I hung around, looking at my watch and trying not to worry that she’d stood me up. Suddenly a breathless Gemma was stood beside me. I had been expecting her to come from the racetrack. Instead she had come from the hotel.
“I was starting to worry.” I said, a shade reproachfully. Then I noticed she had a case with her and had already changed into her jeans. “Rushing off already?” I asked.
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“Well, there’s a party tonight, but I don’t really want to go. Ad does though, and I thought perhaps you could drop me off on your way home? You did say you pass through on your way here.” I didn’t know what to say. I was more than happy to give her the lift, but did wonder if I should be driving off with a girl who hardly knew me.
“Are you sure Gem? I mean, we only just met. I could be an axe murderer or something.”
“I doubt it somehow. And Adele says you’re honest, and she’s never wrong.” I shrugged.
“On your head be it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when you wake up tomorrow on a chain gang!” I joked. “Come on then. I’ve still got to take down the tent and pack everything away.”
“I’ll help.” I handed her my camera bag and picked up her case.
“This way then.”

The journey took about an hour, less time than it took to pack up all my gear. We chatted the whole time. Gem telling me about her promo work, her other jobs, things like that. I talked about my work a little, but more about my love of photography, especially those I took of aeroplanes. The time flew by, and now we were entering the village where she lived. I pulled up where she asked me. She leant across and kissed me.
“That was for the lift.”
“Want to drive around some more?” I joked. She held my head still and kissed me again.
“And that was because I think I’m in love.” I was about to ask jokingly who with, until I saw the look in her eyes. We stared at each other for a while, and then I kissed her back.
“Gemma, before we get in too deep. You need to know what you might be getting into.” She shrugged.
“Tell me.”
“I get jealous easily. I don’t know if I can watch others ogling my girl. So before we make any plans, please think about what could happen. I tell you this now, because I don’t want to hurt you later on. It will be easier to split now than later. Not that I want to split, but …” I ran out of words. Gemma’s lip trembled a little, and her eyes watered.
“I’ll get out now.” She slipped out of the car. I scrambled around after her.
“Gem, I’m just being honest. Just take some time to think things through, ask for advice. Then call me tomorrow or later if you like. Take what time you need, but call me when you decide. I’ll be waiting.” I handed her my mobile number on a scrap of paper. She took it carefully. I held her hand. “Please?” She smiled suddenly.
“All right. I’ll have a think. And call you soon.” She scrabbled in her purse. “Here’s my number, so you’ll know its me.”

I answered my ringing mobile. It wasn’t a number I knew, not even Gemma’s recently added one. “Hello.”
“Is that Mr Photographer?”
“Is that you Adele? I was hoping it was Gemma.”
“She’ll be calling later. I just need to ask you a couple of things.”
“Ask away.” I said, wondering what this was about.
“Are you in love with Gem?”
“Yes, I suppose I am.” I didn’t even have to think, which surprised me a bit.
“Then why are you talking to me and not her? Why is she calling me and asking for advice.” A light dawned. I sighed into the phone.
“I just thought she’d better know what she’s letting herself in for. I honestly don’t know if I’m going to get jealous, and I know that sounds hypocritical after all the photo’s I took of you all.” I heard Adele humming. “Ad, I have what you could call a short but damp fuse. It takes a lot to rile me, but when something does, I explode quickly.”
“So?”
“I wouldn’t want Gemma to be on the receiving end if I get jealous, and I won’t ask her to give up a job she obviously likes.”
“Don’t you trust her?”
“Yes.” I hesitated. “Yes, I trust her. It’s me I don’t trust.”
“You love her enough to lose her.”
“I do. I want her to be happy.”
“You, Mr Photographer, are too honest for your own good.” She paused. “I think you need to take a chance for once. If she wants to give up the promo work, let her. If she wants to carry on, trust yourself. I’m going to tell her the same thing.”
“Adele, I know you less than Gem, but you are a good friend to both of us. Thanks.”
“Just don’t name your daughter after me.” She laughed and rang off.
Ten minutes later, the phone rang again.
“Hello Gemma.”
“Hello Dave. What are you doing next weekend?”

“How long is your mother going to be?”
“I don’t know daddy.” I smiled down at my daughter.
“Sorry Emerald, I wasn’t really asking. Are you enjoying today?”
“Really a lot.” She nodded.
“As much as last week?”
“Nearly. I think I like the old aeroplanes better though.” I smiled.
“That’s my girl.” I patted her curly hair.
“Is this where you met mom?” She looked up at me, her green eyes shining.
“Yes it is. Six years ago.” She squirmed in her seat, obviously unsure whether to ask her next question.
“Can I use your little camera again Daddy?” Emerald asked eventually.
“Sure. But you won’t get very good pictures of the cars from here in the grandstand.”
“S’alright. I like to take pictures of people anyway.”
“Okay, here you are.” I said, handing her my old Fuji. She accepted it gleefully. Gemma appeared down below us and walked up the steps carrying three “99’s”. I heard Emmie clicking away.
“You little minx, you’ll be telling everyone these are all for me.” Gemma smiled at Emerald, handing us both one of the ices.
“I won’t mommy, honest.” Our little girl said.
“Meet anyone you know?” I asked.
“One or two people. They’re all so young now.”
“You’re not exactly ancient love.” I said.
“It’s just so… Strange, seeing it from the other side.”
“Miss it?”
“A little, but I know I made the right choice, if only for Emmie.”
“I’m glad you talked to Adele that day. You know she phoned me?” I put my arm around her and licked at my ice cream.
“She asked for your number. Said she needed to talk to you before she gave me advice.”
“I never asked. What did she say?”
“Told me not to let you slip away.” She laughed. “In fact she said we should have flipped a coin to see who got that number 4 station.”
“Unfortunately for her, I don’t think it was where you were stood love.” I laughed. She looked over to where Emmie was licking at her ice.
“Emerald, don’t get that on your dad’s camera.”
“I won’t mommy. He said if I’m good I can have it.”
Gemma looked at me.
“Last week.” I shrugged. “She has a good eye for a picture, especially for a 4 year old. I thought she should have some encouragement.”
“All right I suppose, it’s your camera.” Gemma said, snuggling up to me.
“Can I go down to the front to take some pictures?” Emmie asked.
“Just stay where we can see you poppet.” I said. She toddled off down the steps.
“She does take after you.” Gem said.
“Oh I don’t know. She’s as pretty as you. Good thing too.”
“Sweet talker.” She grinned.
“SMILE!” Emmie called out as she pressed the shutter.