Asteroid Patrol

Something a bit different. Bit less romance. Some clues along the way. Loved writing it.

I brought the ship to a halt against the landing bay of headquarters. Once every three months we would return to Space Police HQ for supplies and other changes including picking up probationary officers. This time however Bob was arriving for the last time. He was retiring and I was to be supplied with a new partner. “Well Bob, it’s been a blast.” I held out my hand and he took it.
“You’ve come on a lot since they foisted you on me Dave.” He grinned. “Finally I feel that I can leave you to it, and retire.”
“You deserve a rest; now get going before they change their minds. I’ll tidy up the paper work.”
“Thanks. I got six months leave coming before I retire though. I thought I might look for my special girl.”
“Good luck with that. See you around.” With that he was gone. I sighed. Things were changing and neither of us seemed to fit into the new way of thinking. Bob had been close enough to retirement for them to let him go, but not me. Now I was about to get some product of the academy as a partner. Straight from the classroom into the dirty universe. I shook my head, how was a copper supposed to get experience that way? I was probably going to have to teach him how to run, let alone when. I picked up the last of our paperwork, booked the ship into the service bay, and headed up to the offices.

The captain looked at me with a pitying look. “Come on boss, it can’t be that bad?” I said.
“It depends on your point of view. For you, you get a wet-nosed kid straight from school with no real knowledge of how life works, but the ability to learn. For her…” He nodded out of the window at the young girl sat outside. “Well, she gets the best teacher we have left.”
“How can I be, I’ve never been the senior patrolman?”
“But Bob taught you, and Bob was the best. And not once did he ask for another partner. You took your turn looking after the probationers at the ‘Boonies’, and they all turned out okay. Face it Dave, you are the one of the best. Or the last of the best if you prefer.”
“Okay, pass me her file. The ship will be a day or so in dock, then we’ll see how she is.”
“The ship or the girl?”
“I’ve never worried about Juliet. Bring her in boss; we may as well get started.” The new Officer who was to be my partner, at least for the next few months, came into the office and sat down. She seemed to have a hard look on her face until I looked closer and saw her eyes; they didn’t look hard, they looked apprehensive, a little scared. She reminded me of someone too. “So, Officer M.E. Watson?” She nodded, not taking her brown eyes from my face. “You are aware that the ‘Boonies’ is not a top assignment?”
“Yes, I am, but it is important and immediate. I want to start my career as soon as possible.” She still kept her eyes on me, gauging me.
“An admirable ideal. Although I have your file…” I waved it. “…there are some things I’d like to find out for myself. Meet me down on the firing range in five minutes.”
“Yes sir.”
“You don’t need to call me sir, Officer Watson, Dave will do.”
“Yes s… Dave.” She smiled. The hard look vanished from her face. She got up and left.
“They are sure about her boss? She looks really young and…well, fragile.”
“Don’t let that fool you. She has an amazing pass score from the academy, and she wants to do this.”
“But she has no street smarts Captain.”
“None of you ever have Dave.” He smirked. “That’s why we put you out on the streets with experienced cops. Now go and teach her the first lessons.”

I waited on the firing range for the Officer who was to be my first partner, Dave Baldwin. Our meeting in the Captains office had been short but interesting. I could tell he was worried about what he was taking on and had tried to maintain eye contact and a severe face, but hadn’t managed completely. Dave was a hard man to impress. I would have to try harder. He led me to the range and took out an old twentieth century weapon. “Ever fired a percussion pistol?” He asked conversationally. I shook my head. “More accurate than a blaster, but with a hell of a kick.” He raised the weapon and let off several rounds into the target, tearing big holes in it. “You try.” He said handing me the gun. I felt the weight in my hand, gauging it. I lifted it and pulled the trigger. And missed the target completely. He had been right about the kick. What he hadn’t mentioned was the noise!
“Sorry.” I said. “I wasn’t expecting that. Let me try again.” He nodded. I raised the weapon again, braced myself and fired.
“Excellent Officer Watson. It didn’t take you long to adapt to the weight and the kick.” He took the weapon from me. “However, you failed to ask whether it was legal for me to have such an outmoded weapon.”
“I just assumed it was.”
“Never assume, find out. Your first lesson.”
“Well, is it legal?” He smiled.
“It’s legal for me to have it, yes. Firing it is a different matter though.”
“So we shouldn’t have fired it?”
“Technically, no. So straightaway you have some dirt on me, but you can’t tell anyone because I have some on you too.”
“What are you trying to tell me s… Dave?”
“Trust your partner, often they’re all you’ve got out on the street. Come on, up to the gym next.” He led the way.

I was taken aback a little. This girl had taken hardly any time to adjust to firing my old Colt, and she hadn’t been put out when I told her we had just incriminated ourselves. Next I wanted to see how she could handle herself. I led her to the middle of the gym. “All right Officer Watson, I want you to cuff me, but I’m going to resist. Start when you’re ready.” I had barely finished speaking when she leg swept me. Moments later she had rolled me over and snapped the cuffs on. I couldn’t help smiling as she pulled me to my feet.
“That was all right wasn’t it?” She sounded worried.
“No Officer Watson, that was just perfect. I’m very impressed.” Her lovely smile lit up her features again. I suddenly realised what I’d thought. ‘Lovely Smile’. Better keep a lid on that. “However, I did say I was going to resist.” I hooked her leg and dropped her to the floor, making a grab for her keys as she went past. At this point things started to go awry. My trainees usually wore trousers, but Officer Watson wore a skirt. I caught the skirt at the same time as the keys and with a tearing sound, ripped it up her leg. “Oh damn! Are you all right Officer Watson? I didn’t mean to do that.” I could see all kinds of charges being brought here, but as I knelt beside her, I could see her laughing. She took the keys from me and still laughing, uncuffed me.
“Don’t worry si…Dave. My fault for being slow.” She paused. “Do you have to keep calling me ‘Officer Watson’? My friends call me Emmy.” She held out her hand.
“I’d be honoured to be amongst them.” I shook her hand. Emmy was going to be all right.

For the next few hours Officer Baldwin, Dave, put me through a series of little tests, all designed to make me think. It was all very enlightening, but the main thing I learnt was that Dave cared, not only for whoever his partner was, but also about the people he was protecting, the ‘Boonies’. He wasn’t averse to bending rules if it was necessary and I think that was the main point he was trying to get across. Finally he called a halt and suggested I get some sleep before we returned to his station in the morning.
I hauled my two cases on board his ship and found him waiting for me. “Let me help you with those.” He said, taking the larger case from me. “You are only on a three month assignment you know. It feels like you’ve got enough stuff for at least six here.” He grinned.
“You might know a lot about policing the asteroid belt, but you don’t know much about women Dave.” I laughed. “I’ve left the rest of my stuff in storage.”
“I stand corrected Officer Watson. Sorry, Emmy.” He stowed my cases. “Come on, we need to run the flight checks.” He led me to the cockpit and sat down, indicating I should take the second seat. We went through the checks and then he called the controller. “Juliet Hotel Uniform, requesting permission to depart.”
“Roger Juliet Hotel Uniform, you are cleared to depart. See you in three months Big Dave. And Ron says to take care of Juliet.”
“Thanks Ray. Tell Ron I’ll keep her out of trouble. Out”
“Juliet?” I asked.
“The ship. She’s the last of her type and a bit of a legend with the maintenance crews. Twenty years old and never a problem.” Dave sounded immensely proud of the ship. I hoped I could make him half as pleased of me.
“How long before we reach the ‘Boonies’?” I asked.
“Normally, just over a day, she’s not as quick as the newer ships. It’ll be a bit longer this time though.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to teach you how to fly her.”
“I have a space pilot’s licence you know.”
“I know you do, but Juliet needs special handling. She’s an old lady and can get a little cranky.” He smiled. I loved his smile. I realised that was an inappropriate thought and shut it out. “But I’ve no doubt you’ll soon pick up on her little foibles.”

We arrived at the ‘Boonies’, a mining township built into an asteroid on the edge of the belt, in a little less than 36 hours. I had been expecting to take longer to give Emmy time to get used to Juliet, but she picked it up in no time. The girl was amazing! As long as she was shown what to do carefully, she had no problems. I wondered what would happen if I just told her to get on with some task, without telling her how to do it. It would probably take her an extra ten minutes I thought. I would have been jealous if she hadn’t been so amiable. Now I eased Juliet into her docking bay at our station. “Juliet Hotel Uniform, docking complete. Nobby, get the coffee on.”
“Who’s Nobby?” Emmy asked.
“He’s the tech for our station. Mechanics mainly, but he’s not a bad doctor either. And he looks after Elsie.”
“And she…”
“Elsie is the station mechanoid. LC15. Version 4 now I think. They’re the only ones on station at the moment. We are supposed to get a pair of probationers next month.”
“You mean another pair. I’m only a probationer too you know.”
“I suppose you are. But I think you may be destined for greater things Officer Watson. Now grab your gear and I’ll introduce you to the rest of my team.”
I led her into our ramshackle little station. Nobby met me with a smile and a mug of coffee. “Welcome home Big Dave. Everything okay?”
“Thanks Nobby.” I took the mug. “No problems. Things all right in the town?”
“Bit of a do in one of the bars last night, but Elsie sorted it out. Who’s the totty?”
“The totty, as you so indelicately put it, is Officer Watson, my new partner. Emmy, this is Nobby. I’m afraid you’ll have to get used to his crudeness.”
“Pleased to meet you Nobby.” Emmy held out her hand. Nobby shook it.
“Watcha love. How d’you like your coffee?”
“White, no sweetener.”
“Coming up in a jiff darlin.”
“Where’s Elsie?”
“Recharging. She’s been a bit busy while you’ve been gone.” Nobby said, disappearing.
“She’ll be busy for a while more until I can get Officer Watson up to speed.”
“Excuse me, I do know what I’m doing you know?”
“I don’t doubt it for a minute, but I’m not letting you out on your own until I think you’re ready, so you’ll have to be patient for a couple of days.” She turned and stomped off.
“That sounded a bit mean.” Nobby reappeared beside me, another mug in his hand.
“It was meant to be. We both know that the township isn’t going to just accept someone as pretty as her as a lawman. Now take her that drink and show her where she’s bedding down. I’m going to check Elsie’s reports.”

I suppose that I was a bit upset that Dave wouldn’t let me patrol on my own straight away, but the first time he took me out onto the streets of the ‘Boonies’ later that evening, I realised why. The people of this town were tough, no nonsense miners who would exploit a perceived weakness in the law out of habit rather than any actual desire to be bad. No one took advantage of ‘Big Dave’ as they called him, and in return he turned a blind eye to some of the minor lawbreaking. “Why do they call you ‘Big Dave’?” I asked after the fourth person we met greeted him so.
“Simple. When I arrived here the first time, there was already a Dave on station. He was just ‘Dave’. I happened to be taller than him; otherwise I’d have been ‘Little Dave’.” He mused for a moment. “It might be interesting if a taller Dave was posted here, he’d probably become ‘Bigger Dave’.” This seemed to amuse him. I thought it was a bit childish, and not that funny at all.
We had been strolling around the township for about two hours when Elsie called us. “Disturbance reported at McLeary’s Bar. Fixtures broken. Please attend.” Dave told her that we were on our way. After five minutes we were outside the bar. There was obviously a fight of some sort going on inside. Dave pulled out his nightstick and began to move to the door.
“Dave.” I held his arm. “Can I deal with this? I know I can do it.” He looked at me and sighed.
“Okay Emmy. If you think you can handle this, go ahead.” He moved to one side and let me pass. “I’ll be outside if you need help.”
I strode into the centre of the bar, striking my nightstick on a table to gain the protagonists attention. “Come on boys, there’s no need for this.” I said in my best authorative voice. I was mildly amazed that they listened to me. Except for one guy who had obviously had more to drink than the others.
“I ain’t lissenin to some snot-nosed kid wiv a badge. You wants me to stop, you come and stop me.” Sighing I put my stick back into my belt.
“Sir, may I ask you to reconsider your position?”
“No!” With that he ran at me. I sidestepped and tripped him, handcuffing him almost before he hit the ground. There was a ripple of applause from the rest of the patrons and as I lifted my first prisoner to his feet I saw Dave joining in from the doorway.
“You were there the whole time?” I asked. He was looking at me strangely.
“Only in the door.” He shook himself. “And it was you who stopped Little Rick without resorting to guns or even sticks. He might have a bit of a job living that down.”
“I didn’t want to humiliate him.”
“He’ll get over it. Might do him a bit of good too. He’ll be famous.”
“Famous for what?”
“First prisoner of a female Officer in the ‘Boonies’.” Dave smiled. “Come on, let’s get him back to the station. Nobby and Elsie have some news for us anyway.”

“Lafarge is back in town.” Nobby said with a sigh. He pointed at a monitor showing one of the minor docking bays.
“You sure it’s him?” I said, peering closely at the blurred image.
“Elsie confirms visual recognition.”
“Who is this guy?” Emmy asked. “Why is it a big deal he’s here?”
“Bob ran Lafarge out of town about five years back.” I replied. “Lafarge was up to something big and bad, but Bob couldn’t prove it. Lafarge got drunk one night and Bob had him sent away on one of the ore ships with a note telling him not to come back.”
“Why has he returned now then?”
“He’s found out Bob’s gone, so he figures he can come and finish what he started. That’s my guess anyway.” I shrugged.
“So, what are we going to do about it?” Emmy looked sharply at me.
“We are not going to do anything except keep our eyes and ears open until we find out what he’s up to. I never agreed with Bob acting without proof, so we will wait.”
That’s what we did for the next three weeks. I sent Emmy out on the daytime patrols with either Elsie or Nobby and took the night patrols myself. I told Emmy to note down everything she saw or was told, any information might end up being vital. The two new probationers, Brown and Rodriguez, arrived after the three weeks, and after a short course on the ‘Boonies’ I felt confidant enough in the two of them as a pair to let them take over the daytime patrols. This meant that Emmy was with me for the night work, when I felt there was more chance of Lafarge either breaking cover or attempting whatever it was that he was here for. I noticed on our first night patrol together that she had seamlessly fitted into the rhythm of the township. People would nod to her, or call her by name. I felt sure it had taken me longer to fit in than this.
We had another six days of nothing much happening. Then, as Emmy and I returned to the station she pulled a piece of paper out of her breast pocket.
“Now how did that get there?” She looked at it puzzled.
“What does it say?” I asked.
“How do you know it says anything?”
“I recognise the style. Someone wants us to know something, but doesn’t want to be seen telling us. So a bit of reverse pick-pocketing leaves us with the info.”
“Why give it to me though, I might have thrown it away.”
“Whoever it was wanted the chance to get close to you I suppose.” I smiled. I almost laughed out loud at the shudder she gave when she thought about what I’d said. “Come on, read it out Emmy.” She unfolded the paper and quickly scanned it.
“It says that someone intends to rob the bank tomorrow night.”
“Does it say who?”
“No. So it might not be our boy.”
“I think it is. There’s a lot in the bank at the moment. Come on, let’s brief the others and sort out a plan. Better call HQ as well, even though they can’t really get anyone to us in time.” I led her into the station and we began to make our plans.

Dave sorted everyone out, stationing the two new officers away from the bank but close enough to get there quickly. He and I were inside the bank with Elsie, waiting for whoever it was who was going to try and break in. Nobby was back at the station, watching the monitors, particularly the ones around the bank. I couldn’t help but watch Dave as he prowled the floor of the bank. He was an easy man to like, but he seemed distant. It was probably for the best I thought. Around midnight we heard a noise coming from below the vault. Dave and I looked at each other and then at Elsie.
“A mark five mining drill is being used to access the vault from below.” She reported.
“How does she know that?” I asked.
“Elsie knows what every drill sounds like, she’s been at the ‘Boonies’ for such a long time.” Dave replied. He called the station. “Nobby. Something’s happening in the vault. Anything on the monitors?”
“Nothing that I can see Big Dave. Want me to come over?”
“No. Stay there, but alert Brown and Rodriguez to be ready. Emmy and I will handle it from here.” He sounded confidant, but I wasn’t sure. This seemed like a well organised job. “Come on Emmy, let’s go and see who’s calling.” He flashed me a brief smile. It looked like he was enjoying this.
“What about Elsie?”
“She’s not great at creeping about. We’ll leave her here to cover this way out.” With that he started down to the vault. A little nervously I followed him.
Outside the big steel doors we could hear the drill working away inside. Using hand signals he indicated that we should open the vault. As quietly as possible we inched the doors apart and peered in. The room was filling with dust from the drill as it ate its way through the vault floor. “Wait until they’re inside, then we’ll nab them.” Dave whispered. I nodded in acknowledgement. I could just make out the tip of the drill breaking through. After a few moments it stopped. In the sudden silence we could hear voices below. Dave held up two fingers, indicating he could hear two people. I shook my head and held up three fingers. After a brief wait Dave nodded and held up three fingers as well. He slowly drew his blaster. I followed suit. We slipped quietly into the dark dust filled room, keeping our backs to the wall. Then it happened. I was never sure afterwards whether it was me or Dave who nudged something metallic lying on the floor, but the sound of it rolling across the floor seemed really loud in the vault. There was a cry of ‘Run for it!’ from below. Dave ran to the hole calling for them to halt. As he reached the edge he fired down into it. A blaster beam came from below in return. It caught Dave’s leg and he dropped to the floor holding it. I was about to drop into the hole to give chase when Dave caught my arm. “NO! It’s too dangerous.”
“But they’re getting away!”
“Doesn’t matter. We stopped them stealing anything. Now get the others here, all of them. When Nobby and Elsie get here you can take the other two down the hole and see where it goes.” He was talking through clenched teeth. I looked at his wound. It didn’t look good.
“Hell that looks bad! What should I do to help?”
“Turn the lights on for a start.” Suddenly Elsie was with us. She tore open the leg of his trousers and looked around for something to bandage it with. I took off my uniform blouse and handed it to her. I had my lightweight body armour on beneath it.
“That looks amazingly sexy.” Dave smiled, and then passed out.

When I came around I was back at the station, a med-machine strapped to my damaged leg. “Nobby!” I called out. He scurried in.
“You’re awake then?”
“Apparently. Fill me in.”
“Well, you’ll need to stay off that leg for at least two weeks while the machine…”
“I didn’t mean that and you know it. What have they found at the bank?” Nobby sighed.
“They aren’t back yet. Emmy called to say the tunnel came out in Alpha section.”
“The mainly empty area belt-side of town?”
“Yeah. They were going to have a bit of a poke around. She said they’d be back in about half an hour.” I lay back down and looked at the ceiling.
“I think I messed up Nobby. I was trying to show off in front of Officer Watson, being cool and calm, but I blew it and got blasted. What sort of idiot am I?”
“The normal sort I reckon Big Dave.” Nobby grinned. “You ain’t the only one you know. Half the town is trying to impress her.”
“The male half?” I couldn’t help but smile.
“Bingo!”
“Well I saw her first.” I said, sticking my tongue out. I was trying to make a joke out of it, but in a way I was serious. It was obvious that I was deeply taken by this youthful, exuberant but professional girl. “Is Elsie about? I want her to transcribe my report so we can send them all off together, assuming the other three have already done theirs.”
“They went straight down the hole after I arrived, so I doubt it.”
“Well, I’ll do mine anyway. They can do them when they get back. Call me when they are.”
“Sure. And Boss?”
“Yes Nobby?”
“Lay off the self recrimination will you? At least until your leg is healed.”
“I’ll try Nobby, I’ll try.”

The search had been a complete waste of time. Brown, Rodriguez and I had found nothing but an empty tunnel except for the abandoned mark five drill. There was a hint of a smell of scorched flesh, so it seemed that Dave had managed to hit one of them. I put it all in my report when I got back to the station, including the fact that it may have been me that made the noise that alerted the robbers. Apparently Dave had done the same thing. He seemed really down when I went to talk to him, but somehow I managed to cheer him up. I had to; it was very unsettling to see him so full of doubt. I told myself that the station needed him as the strong, resourceful leader, but the truth was that I couldn’t bear the thought that his injury may be my fault, that I had caused him pain.
The next couple of weeks were difficult for all of us as we had to reorganise everything so that the three fit officers and Elsie could continue our patrols. Headquarters sent two other Officers; Wright, a recent probationer and Grainger, a total newbie, so we had to change everything again and also include a patrol with Juliet to the front of the asteroid belt. Dave sent me and Wright on that, mainly because my time at the ‘Boonies’ was nearly up and I was to report to Headquarters after the patrol. I managed to keep my feelings to myself as I said goodbye to Dave, but he looked down again. It was a four day trip along the belt, and then another two days back to HQ. All the time I was worrying about what I was going to say to the Captain when we got there. I knew Dave had put in a good report about me, and when I took the ‘Boonies’ assignment the Captain had said I was practically guaranteed a better posting. The problem was, I didn’t want a different posting. I liked the rough and ready town and its citizens and I liked working with Dave, but how was I going to tell the Captain that the supposed ‘Poster Girl’ didn’t want the fast track to the top.
I was still worrying when we docked. Juliet was taken to be given her once over, Officer Wright went to grab some more of his gear and I slowly made my way to the Captains office. He opened the door for me and bade me to sit. “You want to stay at the ‘Boonies’ don’t you?”
“How can you tell sir?”
“I’ve got pretty good at reading faces in the last thirty years.”
“I don’t want to disappoint you sir, but I feel that the ‘Boonies’ is where I belong. And I have a case to solve.” The captain smiled.
“You remind me of someone else you know? Ten years ago another bright spark went to the ‘Boonies’ and never wanted to leave.”
“Dave?” I asked.
“Dave.” He nodded. “And twelve years before that, the man who married your mother, your father.”
“How did you find that out?” I gasped. “I never told anyone Bob was my father.”
“I’m a policeman, I find things out. Just because you use your mothers name instead of your fathers.”
“I did that so dad wouldn’t find out I wanted to be a cop too. Especially after mom died so young and he asked her parents to bring me up.”
“You nearly walked into him when he retired you know?”
“Yes, I waited until he said goodbye to you before I came up.”
“I won’t stand in your way if you want to stay at the ‘Boonies’.” He sighed. “It’s more in your blood than anyone else’s; it’s where you were born.”
“I sort of knew that.” I held out my hand. “Thank you captain, for understanding.” He shook my outstretched hand. “Can I ask you not to spread around the fact that Bob was my dad?”
“Not a problem, any reason?”
“I just want a little time being myself before I become ‘Bob’s Daughter’. One more thing. Don’t let Dave know I’m staying on. I want to surprise him. He’s the other reason I want to stay at the ‘Boonies’.”
“Okay, all right. Now go away before you start running the entire department.” He laughed. I grinned too and then went to start moving all of my stuff onto Juliet for the trip back to the ‘Boonies’.

I was on my first patrol since the med-machine came off my leg. I was with Officer Grainger. She seemed to be a capable enough girl, but a little timid. I asked her what her first name was. “Stacey, but most people I know call me ‘Stace’.”
“That’s a nice name Stace. What are your ambitions in the force?”
“Well, I don’t think I’m cut out to be a street patrolman, so I’d quite like to be a pilot.” I smiled.
“We’ll see what you’re like with Juliet sometime. If you can handle her, I’ll recommend you become her pilot if you want to stay at the ‘Boonies.”
“Thank you sir. That would be lovely.” Her eyes shone.
“It’s all right.” I smiled at her enthusiasm. “And you don’t have to call me sir.”
“I’ll try not to sir.” She giggled. “Sorry, it may be harder than I thought.”
“As long as you’re trying.” I laughed. Nobby called me up.
“Big Dave, Juliet is on approach. Thought you might like to know.”
“Thanks, we’ll be back in about half an hour.”
Nobby met me with a bigger smirk than usual on his face. “Well, who have they sent?” I asked.
“Under orders mate. You gotta find out for yourself.” His grin grew wider. Mildly annoyed, I started towards the landing bay. I saw Nobby whispering to Stacey.
“Really?” She exclaimed. I shook my head and strode off towards where Juliet was docked.
There was a pile of four or five cases stood next to the ship. “Bloody hell Wrighty, I thought you said only one case?”
“I did only pick one up Big Dave.” He said, coming up behind me. “Those are all hers.”
“Hers?” I was surprised they’d sent another female newbie.
“Hey! Can someone give me a hand with this?” A voice called from within Juliet, a voice I knew. I ran onto the ship.
“Emmy! What the hell?”
“Hi Dave.” She sounded cheerful. I looked at her, puzzlement spreading across my face. Surely she could have got a better posting than the ‘Boonies’? She saw my look.
“They told me I could have any posting I wanted, and I fancied this one.”
“But why Emmy? You were supposed to be the next big thing. Why chuck that away to come back here?”
“Apparently I’m not the first highly regarded student to fall under the spell of the ‘Boonies’.” She said with a twinkle in her eye. I went red. “Anyway, I have other reasons besides liking it here. I was born here, so it’s where I belong.”
“All right, okay.” I sighed. “It’s your career.”
“Good. That’s all sorted then. So when are we going to make a proper search for Lafarge?”

It took another couple of days before everything was sorted to Dave’s satisfaction. One of the first things he did was take Officer Grainger for a short patrol in Juliet. On their return he pronounced her a natural pilot and put in a request for another street officer. At the same time he asked for the special squad to be put on standby for the next two days, while we made our search for Lafarge. He split us up into two teams of three. I was with Brown and Rodriguez again, while Dave had Wright and Elsie with him. Nobby and Grainger were on the monitors back at the station. My team were going to check a number of warehouses and old docking bays now abandoned because they were at risk from ‘asteroid rub’ when smaller parts of the belt crashed into the rock that the ‘Boonies’ was carved out of. Dave took his pair to check out the area Brown, Rodriguez and I had searched that first time. When I asked why, he said that different eyes see different things and maybe there was something we had missed. I was a bit put out by this, feeling that maybe Dave didn’t trust us fully. Nobby told me it was all in my head.
The three of us had checked several of the old warehouses and one docking bay and found nothing. No prints in the dust, no oddly locked doors, no carelessly dropped clue, nothing. “Next one guys.” I said. Brown and Rodriguez made for the door. I was about to follow them when something, a tiny anomaly, caught my eye. I crouched down to get a better look. “Carry on, I’ll catch up.” I called as they turned around when they realised that I wasn’t following them. They nodded and exited. What had hooked my attention was a series of dust ridges near the far wall that seemed to have formed for no apparent reason. I looked up and there seemed to be an anomalous machine of some sort. I turned around and saw that there was a disguised entrance into the warehouse. This must be the place Lafarge was using as a hideout!
Suddenly, before I could call up reinforcements, I was grabbed from behind and my radio torn from me. The machine above me was an anti-grav lift. It was what had caused the ridges in the dust. Now someone had used it to get behind me. I was cuffed with my own handcuffs and pushed towards the centre of the warehouse where I was surrounded by three men. “Good work Porter.” The obvious leader said to the man behind me. It was Lafarge!
“The others will come back for me.” I said defiantly. “Give up now Lafarge.”
“Feisty, aren’t you?” He sneered before slapping me across the face hard. “We’ll have to be quick then.”
“What… what are you going to do to me?”
“I’m not going to rape you, if that’s what’s worrying you, but I am going to hurt you. One of you coppers burnt me and you’re going to pay for that.” He slapped me three times more. I staggered and had to be held upright. He aimed a punch at my stomach. I was winded slightly but Lafarge hurt his knuckles on my body armour. Annoyed, he tore open my uniform shirt and attempted to pull the armour away. When it wouldn’t give Lafarge nodded at his other henchman who produced a wicked looking blade and began to try to cut the straps holding it. He was having trouble so Lafarge grabbed the blade from him and deftly slashed the holding straps on one side and then jerked the armour away, revealing the basque I wore to protect myself from the armour rubbing me. His eyes glinted evilly, as if he was changing his mind about what he was going to do.
“Boss, they’re coming back.” The guy behind me suddenly said urgently.
“Pity.” He muttered and then slashed at my stomach with the knife, slicing through the thin material and cutting me. I screamed in pain and was then clubbed into unconsciousness from behind.

Rodriguez called me up, saying that Emmy had been attacked. I began to run towards the location he gave, ordering Nobby to get the little wagon to her at once. “And bring my colt.” I said coldly. This time I wanted to be sure I was going to get Lafarge, because I knew this was his doing. Wright, Elsie and I arrived at about the same time as Nobby and the rescue wagon. My heart sank when I saw the blood on the floor of the warehouse. There was so much. I saw the bruises on her pretty face too and my anger rose. “Nobby get her back to the station at once. You have my gun?” He passed it over, unsure that he should.
“Are you certain that you should take it Dave?”
“Look at her Nobby. Do you think I care about rules concerning someone who would do that?”
“No, I don’t suppose you do. I just wish I could help you.”
“Just take care of her.” I looked at the others. They all looked worried, especially as they hadn’t seen me lose my temper like this before. Only Bob had, and that was only once. “You three, find out where they went. Now!” They scattered and began to look around.
“Dave, over here.” Brown called out quickly. “There’s some sort of door here.”
“Okay, we’re coming. Nobby, get going.” With a nod he was gone, taking the injured Emmy with him.
The door led out onto a street, a street with footprints. We followed the prints towards a house. “Wright, take Brown and Rodriguez around the back and cut off the escape route. I’ll take Elsie with me.”
“What are you going to do Dave?” He asked, eyeing the colt in my hand.
“Flush them out of course. Now go.” They jogged off around the rear of the building.
“Elsie, go to full record mode.”
“Acknowledged.” The drone said. I walked up to the door of the house and inched it open. Carefully I entered. Three men, one of them Lafarge, scattered we they saw me.
The two accomplices ran toward the back door, Lafarge went upstairs.
“Wright, two coming your way. I’m going after Lafarge.” I moved towards the foot of the stairway but was halted by a blaster beam hitting the floor at my feet. “Lafarge? Surrender now, you can’t get away.” The only answer I got was another blaster beam. I moved to one side, trying to get him in my sights. He moved to take another shot at me and I fired the colt twice, hitting him in the shoulder. He fell to the floor groaning.
“What sort of weapon is that?” He called down. “A blaster would have taken my arm off.”
“I know, that’s why I’m using it. I want you alive to take your punishment. Give up now.”
“Never!” He fired again, just missing me. I took careful aim and fired again. The bullets hit him in the head.
“Damn! I wanted him alive.”
“You gave him ample time to desist. I have it all recorded.”
“Thank you Elsie, we’ll have to see what the captain says.” Wright called me.
“Dave. We have the other two. What’s happening in there?”
“Lafarge is dead. One of you come and stand by the body. Take the other two back to the station. Elsie will wait here as well. I’m going back to the station.” I turned and nodded to Elsie and then began to jog back to base.
On my way back Stacey called up sounding worried. “Sir, there are a lot of people on the streets looking angry. I’ve called in the special squad. Is that right?”
“We probably didn’t need them. I’ll sort it out in a minute.” At the station entrance I met Arnie the mayor.
“What’s up Big Dave?” He asked.
“We’ve had an incident in Alpha section. Lafarge attacked Emmy. He’s dead. Can you get everyone to calm down? The special squad is on its way and we don’t want them blundering around making a bad situation worse.” I took him to one side. “Arnie, I killed him with a weapon I shouldn’t have. Things may go badly for me, but I don’t want you lot taking the law into your own hands. What will happen will happen please?” He nodded and went to talk to the township.
Nobby had bandaged Emmy up and was bathing her face when I found them. “Is she going to be all right?” I asked, unable to control the tremor in my voice.
“She’ll make it boss. She’s a toughie.”
“Good.” I relaxed. “Take the wagon and get Wright and the body. Brown and Rodriguez should be here soon with their prisoners. I want everyone to make their reports as soon as possible; we need to screw this down quickly.” He nodded and left. I sat with Emmy, holding her hand, brushing the hair from her eyes. Stacey came in.
“How is Officer Watson?”
“She’ll make it.”
“I’m sorry, I panicked before. I wasn’t sure what the people on the streets were up to.”
“You did everything correctly Stace. Just make your report please.” She looked worried. “Rumours spread throughout this town really quickly, they must have heard about Emmy and wanted to help, but you weren’t to know that, you haven’t been here long enough to understand.”
“They wanted to help Emmy?” I nodded.
“She’s become quite popular. Now go and do as I ask.” She turned and left, leaving me alone with Emmy again.

I came around slowly. My body was aching, but I felt someone holding my hand. I carefully opened my eyes and saw Dave. He smiled as he saw I was awake. “How do you feel Officer Watson?” He asked quietly.
“Like I’ve been beaten up. What happened?”
“You were jumped. Brown and Rodriguez saved you from anything worse.”
“And after?”
“I got him Emmy. Lafarge is gone. I shot him.”
“You didn’t want to though?”
“No, I wanted him alive. He gave me no choice. I shot him with the colt.”
“But that means you’re in trouble, right?”
“I knew the consequences, now I’ll have to face up to them.”
“What will happen?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t really care as long as you’re alive. The captain and the special squad will be here shortly, I’ll find out then.”
“But they can’t arrest you can they?”
“I broke the law.” He shrugged. “Of course they can.”
“I won’t let them.” I tried to sit up, but he pushed me back down.
“No. All you have to do is get better. Rest, let the med-machine work on your wound. This town may need you.” He stood. “I’d better go and meet the captain and turn myself in.” He turned and called. “Stacey, Elsie, make sure she stays here. And thank you for your support.”
“Dave, don’t leave me. I love you. You were the reason I came back.”
“I love you too Emmy, and I was more glad than I let on when you came back, but I broke the law and I won’t run away from that.” I started to cry as he left.
“Dave, don’t…” But he was gone.

I left Emmy in the med bay. I heard her start to cry but couldn’t bring myself to turn back. I picked up all the reports and the colt and strode into the landing bay to wait for the captain. Wright, Brown and Rodriguez were back out on the streets, keeping things calm, with help from Arnie. They were all good lads and I hoped I’d get the chance to tell them that. The special squad ship docked and they disembarked. “A wasted journey guys, I’m afraid.” I said, telling them that things were under control now. I went over to the captain and handed him the reports. He looked at me bemused as I placed the colt and my badge on top of them. “I place myself in your custody sir. I will take whatever punishment you see fit.”
“For a riot that didn’t happen? What are you talking about?”
“I think you better read the reports first sir.” I led him to our office and sat with him as he read about what had gone on. He called for Elsie and I left the room as he reviewed her recordings of the events. I looked out of the front of the station and saw that there were a number of people just standing around and waiting. They looked unhappy. Nobby came up beside me.
“They’re worried.” He said.
“About Emmy?”
“Partly, but mainly they’re worried for you boss. Don’t you realise how much you mean to some of them?”
“I do?” I was genuinely surprised. I’d always got on well with everyone, but I thought I was just the law to them, bloody-minded lawbreakers to a man. “I’d better have a word with them. I don’t want them doing anything stupid.”
“Don’t bother. They know you wouldn’t want that. They just want to hear any news, good or bad, as soon as possible.” He led me toward the med bay. “Emmy has something she wants to say to you.”
“I’m not sure…”
“Well we are. Go and talk. If the captain wants you, he’ll know where to find you.”

He came in a little reluctantly, as if he was scared about his emotions. I asked him to sit. He did so without saying a word. It was strange; I’d never seen him like this. “What is it you want to tell me?” He asked suddenly, catching me off guard.
“I have a secret that I’ve never told anyone. The captain found out, but I asked him to keep quiet.”
“You’re not my secret sister or something are you?” It was a half-hearted joke.
“Please Dave; I’m trying to tell you something important. You might even hate me for it after I tell you.”
“Sorry Emmy.” He paused. “What does the ‘M.E.’ stand for anyway?”
“It’s Michelle Elizabeth if you must know.”
“Bob told me he had a daughter called Michelle.” He mused.
“Dave!” I was exasperated with the way he kept butting in. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Bob is my dad.” I practically shouted it. He just looked at me amusedly, as if he’d known all along.
“So why would I hate you for that. Bob and I were friends. I suspect I know more about him than you.”
“You knew?”
“Like I said, we were partners for a long time. We had to talk about something. He showed me pictures of you growing up. You haven’t changed that much.” He smiled. “I was a bit surprised when you turned up to replace him though. The name threw me for a while, until I saw you in action in the bar. That was pure Bob.”
“I…I don’t know what to say. I wanted to tell you when you’d accepted me as an officer in my own right, not as the daughter of someone you looked up to.” I was nearly crying again. This wasn’t how I’d wanted it to be. Dave came and sat on the bed next to me, taking my hand.
“Don’t cry Emmy. I fell in love with you before I realised who you were. Nothing will change that. I was waiting for you to tell me everything before I told you that. Dumb, huh?”
“But now I could lose you.”
“Even if they go to the extreme it wouldn’t be for long, and I don’t regret what I did after I saw what Lafarge did to you, what he could have done to you. Will you wait for me?” I nodded. He got up. “Good, because I can hear the captain calling me. Wait for me here?” With that he was gone once more.

I could see the look on the captain’s face as I entered the office. He was troubled. “Just tell me boss. I know what I did was wrong.” He pulled himself together and sat.
“Officer Baldwin, after reviewing all the reports and seeing the LC unit’s recording I have had to come to a difficult decision.”
“Sorry sir.”
“Will you shut up and let me finish? The use of extreme force was warranted, but you used an unauthorised weapon. For that you will receive a permanent reprimand on your record. That means you cannot be promoted.”
“Thank you sir, I appreciate the position I put you in. You have to be seen to do something and I’m happy to accept your punishment.” He sagged in relief.
“Thanks Dave. But that still leaves me with a problem. They want to expand the ‘Boonies’ station to a hub for the asteroid belt. That means putting a sergeant in charge. I wanted you, but now the highest you can rise is to senior patrolman.”
“If that’s the only problem, I think I know someone who could do the job.” He looked at me quizzically. “Officer Watson. She fitted in here straightaway, and the people on the street earlier were there because they care about her. Emmy will make a fine sergeant. Especially as we both know who her father is.”
“She told you?”
“Just a moment ago.” I grinned. “But I’d worked it out anyway.”
“Would you have any problem taking orders from her?” He seemed concerned.
“No sir. In fact, I was toying with the idea of asking her to marry me, so being told what to do by Emmy won’t be a problem.” I grinned. The captain grinned back.
“Then why are you here and not in the med bay asking her?”
“On my way now sir!” I stood and shook his hand.
“And tell her she’s promoted as well.” He called after me.

Dave came back to my bedside, a grin on his face. I looked up with reddened eyes and began to hope again. “Tell me.” I said.
“The good news, the bad news or the really bad news?” He said cockily.
“Just tell me you annoying sod. The good news obviously.”
“It seems I’m going to be stuck here as a senior patrolman after all. Permanent reprimand.”
“That’s the good news? Then I don’t want to hear the rest.”
“Sorry, under orders. The bad news is that we’re getting a woman sergeant put in charge of the ‘Boonies’.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why? It’s you, you fool!”
“Me? But I’ve only been here five minutes.”
“Seems the senior patrolman recommended you. The really bad news is you have to decide what name you’re gong to use and I know you hate unimportant decisions.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, are you using your name, Bob’s name, or…” He leant in close and kissed me for the first time. “Or are you going to use mine?”
“Is that some sort of proposal?”
“Yes, yes it is. I can do it properly later on, when you’re recovered, if you like.” I laughed and hugged him.
“That won’t be necessary. Now we just need to find dad to give me away.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem if he’s half the policeman we think he is. He left to find you, so it shouldn’t be to long before he turns up.” I hugged him again. Tighter this time, not wanting to let him go.

“Nobby! Where are you? I need help with this damn tie.” He appeared looking somewhat out of breath and covered in lipstick. “What..?” I exclaimed.
“Sorry.” He said, rubbing the stuff from his face. “I was just talking to the bridesmaid.”
“Stacey did that? She’s not so timid now then?”
“She may be more than I can handle Dave.”
“Tough!” I laughed. “Maybe that’ll teach you a lesson.”
Bob came in beaming. “Dave, I just want to say that Michelle is very lucky to have you. You’re a good man.”
“Thanks Bob, that means a lot to me. And I know I’m the lucky one. I’m sorry I couldn’t ask you to be best man, but you’re otherwise engaged.”
“True.” He laughed. “It’s not the only job I’ve got today. The captain wants me to teach street work at the academy.”
“Smart man, the captain. He knows you’re the best. Now I better get to the magistrates and wait for you and Emmy.”
“Emmy?”
“It’s what your daughter asked me to call her.”
“That was what I called her mother.”
“I didn’t know. I’ll stop if it causes you grief.”
“No. It’s fine son. She has so much of her mother in her. Now get going. It’s supposed to be the bride who turns up late.”
There seemed to be an interminable amount of photographs. I fidgeted through them, waiting until I could take the beautiful girl in white next to me away. “Nearly done.” She whispered in my ear.
“Emmy, I don’t suppose you’re wearing that sexy body armour still.” I whispered back in devilment.
“No, but you should see what I am wearing instead.” She grinned back, waggling her eyebrows. That did it. I scooped her up in my arms and ran down the steps.
“Hey! Where are you going?” Bob called out.
“Sorry!” I called over my shoulder. “An urgent investigation just popped up. See you back here in a week!” Emmy kissed me and giggled.
“I suppose I’m the lead officer in this investigation.”
“No. But I think you’ll be to busy to notice that.” I kissed her again. “Sergeant.”

The Moment 2010

Becoming an annual event



This year’s moment. Not the Vulcan this year, although she was awesome whenever I saw her. My favourite pic of the year has to be the Spitfire T.9 at Waddington with the pyro’s going off behind her.



The moment of the year though was something special. Third on my list was the four-ship of Hurricanes at Duxford’s Battle of Britain show.





Second was the opposition passes by the BBMF’s Spitfire and the Typhoon at RIAT.




But the moment of 2010 was the sight of sixteen Spitfire’s (Actually 15 and a Seafire.) in formation again at the BoB show at Duxford.




The whole show was brilliant. But the Spitfire display was just mind-blowing. From the sound of all of them waiting to take off in front of us, to the sixteen ship pass to the sky full of diving, weaving, climbing Spit’s to the final solo display of MH434. I doubt I’ll ever see anything as wonderful again.



My Pictures. More on my Flickr photostream

Star Songs

Part three. Possibly the last part, maybe not. Could be easy to add to if the right idea comes along


Interviewer: With the successful release of ‘More Dirty Work’ I’m at the home of Karen Carragher and Dave Gerrard to discuss the difficult path to making what has turned out to be an astonishingly successful sequel. It started with the announcement of the film that re-united the pair, on screen and in real life, and a pair of statements.
Dave Gerrard: Yes, that was all Karen’s doing. I had no idea about the testimonial she made, but I’m happy she did. It showed all those people who thought ‘how can that lucky sod two-time such a beautiful wife’ that I hadn’t. And it was very brave of Karen to stand up and say what she did. Like I said, I’m glad she did.
Karen Carragher: Well, I’m glad you wrote me that note. (Hugs Him)
DG: (Smiles). It could have backfired monstrously on me though. Nevertheless, I moved back to our home that very day, but something was still not quite right between us.
KC: We had been apart for eighteen months. We had to rediscover each other.
DG: I didn’t mind that. Something was niggling away at me. I knew what it was as well. Partly it was the fact that I had dented Karen’s perception of me as being, well, perfect, I suppose. But mostly it was my own feelings that I had let her down, that she was still too good for me, that maybe she would find someone better than me.
KC: Why would I want to do that?
DG: (Shrugs.) You could have quite easily, if you’d tried. (Kisses her.) Anyway, because of these notions of my own inadequacies we ended up sharing the house but not the bedroom.
KC: I was surprised but said nothing. I could see that he was struggling with some inner turmoil, and let it go.
DG: (Wane smile.) She had forgiven me but I hadn’t, and I didn’t want to hurt her again. I had to prove to myself that all those negative thoughts were not shared, that it was just in my own head.

The preparations for ‘More Dirty Work’ were going well. Clint had organised a brief training day where the crew and the cast re-learnt the art of loading bins. Unsurprisingly I was put in charge. What was a little surprising was that after only a couple of hours everyone was loading like a pro. Most surprising of all was Karen’s aptitude; it was as if she had been loading bins for the past four years instead of making films. The banter between all of us soon became like that of a team of refuse collectors, smutty and full of invective and derogatory remarks. Things looked good to start with.
It was summer and we were shooting all the outdoor locations first. To begin with I found it easy to slip back into playing ‘Pops’, after all he was still me, but the scenes with Karen rarely seemed to work properly. She was still a consummate professional, but my personal hang-ups kept getting in my way. Even Clint began to lose patience with me. The problem was, I couldn’t actually act. I was playing me, and I had changed. I wasn’t ‘Pops’ anymore, so things didn’t come natural to me anymore. Karen and Clint decided on a break in filming, and to try and remount some of the scenes at a later date. It was to try and help me, but if anything it made me feel worse. Even worse than I had felt for that big scene in the first film. I could find no way to bring ‘Pops’ back. I was on the point of telling them to re-write the part so that it was even smaller. That way they should be able to at least save most of the film.

I was driving Karen home for the break. We sat in the car, neither of us speaking, both alone with our thoughts. Karen was staring out of the window, watching the scenery flash past, when she spoke, finally bringing out into the open the dilemma I was still struggling to conquer. “Dave, what is the problem? Are you still hung up about… well, you know?”
“It’s that obvious, isn’t it? Yes, I can’t help it. I know you forgave me, but I can’t forgive myself. I came that close to completely throwing away something wonderful forever, but I just can’t get back to what we had before. My feelings for you haven’t changed, but my inner demons won’t let me feel the same way about us. I’m sorry, but I just can’t shake the sense I’m ruining your life.” She stretched across and kissed me on the cheek, resting her hand on my knee.
“You’re not ruining my life. But you can’t just give up again. Tell me how I can help you. I want us to be like we were before.”
“I wish I knew how you could help me Karen, I really do. But unless you can think of something I can’t…” I put my hand on hers. “Just be patient with me. It’ll come back, but it might not be in time to save the film. Maybe you’d be better …”
“No! I’m not having you written out, or your role diminished. That bastard manager tried to do that to us and nearly succeeded. I’m not going to let him win. Not now, not ever!” I smiled at her, saw the resolve in her eyes. I shrugged.
“Karen, it’s your film. The other one should have been too. I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
“Just try your best Dave, that’s all I ask. I have faith in you, so does Clint. You can beat your so-called demons, that I do know. You did it for ‘Dirty Work’, and you can do it again.”
“With you two behind me, how can I fail?” I squeezed her hand. She smiled and squeezed my knee.

Interviewer: So what happened?
DG: Well, Karen rehearsed me all through that break, told me how the ‘old me’ would have approached each scene, coached me to put my feelings, misguided feelings according to her, to one side. She was certain I could still play the part I had created by the end of the week. I was still unsure. Would I be able to do it in front of an audience, albeit a friendly audience?
KC: When we went back to the location, Dave was really nervous. I had to keep telling him that it was easy; all he had to do was be the old him.
DG: It was easy to say, but a lot harder to put into practice though. I managed though.
KC: Yes, those early scenes were definitely difficult for him, but he came through.
DG: I wasn’t great, nowhere near as good as I had been in ‘Dirty Work’, but considering what I was battling, my own insecurities, I was pleased enough. Clint was too, which was the main thing. Everyone was supportive, they all obviously still believed in me. It made me believe in myself.
Interviewer: It was a sort of redemption?
DG: In a way, I suppose. It enabled me to carry on that’s for certain. (Pauses.) Can I tell you what other piece of redemption inspired me?
Interviewer: Sure.
DG: You’ll need to bear with me a bit on this. You remember Euro 96? England against Spain. Penalty shoot out. Stuart Pearce steps up to the spot. Six years earlier he had missed a penalty against Germany in the semi final shoot-out of the world cup that resulted in England getting knocked out. He hasn’t taken an England penalty since. He places the ball on the spot, calm as you like, steps back and buries it. And then six years of hurt disappeared, just like that. The look on his face. He had faced his demons and beaten them. The fans forgave him instantly; mostly I think because he had the bottle to stand up and say ‘I’ll take a penalty’. I had that in the back of my mind when we started filming. I’m not saying I was anywhere near as brave as Psycho was that day, I could still have backed out, whereas once he had the ball he was taking the penalty, but it was that which ultimately inspired me to step up and take my shot again.
KC: You never told me this. It seems a bit odd as an actor to take inspiration from a football match.
DG: I keep telling you, I’m not an actor, just someone who happens to be in a film. And I can’t expect someone who was only an eight year old girl to remember what a feeling it was when he slammed the ball into the net that night.
Interviewer: But the film was back on track again?
KC: Not exactly. Something still wasn’t clicking.

Karen, Clint and the scriptwriter, Douglas, were meeting in our hotel room, trying to work out what was going wrong, what it was that was missing from the production. I was only half listening, feeling that there was nothing I could contribute, when Clint called me over. “Dave, you had some ideas last time. Is there anything we are missing?”
“I’m not sure you should be asking me. I still feel it might be me getting things wrong.” Karen leant over and kissed me.
“Not everything is about you, you know. Come on, what have you got?” I sighed. She could twist me around her finger.
“All right. Maybe you need some more bin man humour. I know it’s meant to be a drama, but we binnies don’t take anything seriously for too long. You’ve got to laugh sometimes.”
“Anything specific?” Douglas asked, picking up his notepad.
“How about a sequence where Pops keeps looking at passing women, it gets boring just driving you know, and Emily notices.”
“How is that funny? Karen asked.
“Look at those legs. Slap! She’s got a nice… Slap! You don’t get many of them… Slap! Etcetera.” I sat back. The other three looked at each other and the scriptwriter started to scribble.
“Anything else?” Clint asked.
“Well, there’s a lot of stuff we aren’t supposed to do that has humorous potential.”
“Such as?”
“Loader hanging on the door, driver heads for a bush or a bin, loader get face full of bush or has to lift up over bin. I know it’s not cerebral, but it makes us laugh.”
“You never did that sort of thing when I was with you.” Karen said.
“Well, we aren’t supposed to do it, but when the management aren’t about…” I shrugged, “We all do it. Clip a wet bush just right and you can shower the guy walking under it.”
“Sounds a bit one sided?”
“They can get their own back. Flicking wet gloves through the open window, a judiciously lobbed berry when you’re not looking.”
“I’ve always wanted to ask, why do you drive with the window open?” Clint broke in.
“I don’t really know, I just do.” I shrugged again.
“Well, thanks for the input Dave. Anything else?”
“There is one thing.”

Interviewer: And what was that?
DG: I didn’t want to mention it because I thought Karen would oppose it, but she told me to go ahead and tell them. They could always say no afterwards.
KC: At that point though I was willing to listen to anything. Things just weren’t slotting together properly.
Interviewer: So what was this change you wanted to make?
DG: In the original script, Emily and Pops were considering leaving to take up a new challenge together somewhere. I explained that in my experience long-time bin men don’t just up and leave. Any one of us who has been doing the job for so long just can’t leave. People with less than, say, fifteen years service come and go. You reach fifteen years and the only way you’re leaving is by some sort of retirement or by dying.
KC: I said at the time you put this forward that you had left though.
DG: Yes, I know. But that was to be with you. And what did I do when I thought I’d lost you? I went back to the bins.
KC: I hadn’t thought of it like that.
DG: (Smiles.) We’re creatures of habit after that amount of time, all bad ones. Anyway, I thought that Pops was accepting this talk of leaving to easily. I suggested that he would be torn by his two loves, Emily and his job.
KC: That isn’t all he suggested. He came up with a whole new ending.
Interviewer: Did you use it?
KC: (Nods and smiles.)The film as it was completed has Dave’s ending.

We had integrated my ideas into the film. Karen had enjoyed the head slapping, which was fair enough; I had enjoyed the ogling! Now we were filming my final scene. What I hadn’t thought through when I suggested it was the fact I was going to need to do some stunt work; Pops was going to be hit by a car. The scene started.
Pops is making his way back to the cab of the RCV after helping load some bins. A little girl runs into the road as a car speeds around the corner. The girl trips and falls. Pops sprints out into the centre of the road as the car comes past the truck, scooping up the child and throwing her out of its path. The car tries to stop but slams into him, knocking him into the air. Emily runs to his side. She cradles his head as he tries to speak. “Emily, I would have come with you, I would.” He coughs.
“Sshh! It doesn’t matter. You must hold on. Help is coming.” She starts to cry.
“It’s too late.” He coughs again. “Wear something flowery for the funeral.”
“Pops, you can’t die on me now.” Tears are streaming down Emily’s face.
“I’ll always love you.” The light in his eyes goes out. The music, Metallica’s ‘Nothing Else Matters’, swells. Emily wails ‘NOOooo!’
The whole crew applauded as Clint called ‘Cut!’ “Beautiful. And in one take too.”
“I didn’t want to have to keep hitting the ground.” I laughed. Karen kissed me, tears still in her eyes. “Are those real tears?” I asked.
“Yes. Pops is worth crying for.” She smiled a watery smile. “Your first death scene.”
“The laws of nature mean I’ll have at least one more.”
“That’s a bit morbid.”
“But true. Playing your own death, especially of a character everyone says is you, does that to a guy.” I sat up and then Karen helped me to my feet. “Come on, we’ve still got the funeral to film, and then the final scene.”

Interviewer: So it was Dave who suggested killing off Pops?
KC: Yes. Although it was something I hadn’t wanted to do, it made everything else work. I accepted it this time because he wasn’t just saying it because he thought he couldn’t act, but because it was what the movie needed and he could see that.
Interviewer: After that scene, how can you say you can’t act Dave?
DG: I don’t believe I can, I was still playing myself, opposite the woman I love. I did like the heroic touch though; my suggestion was that he was just hit by a car. It was Douglas who added the little girl and I’m grateful that he did. I asked him about it and he said it was to repay the rescue work I’d done on the script.
Interviewer: A nice gesture.
DG: Well, there was some talk of giving me a writing credit, but I didn’t want to take anything away from all the hard work he put in. After all, the only thing I’d done was make a couple of suggestions. (At this point Karen thumps Dave quite hard on the arm.) What was that for?
KC: How can you say that? Not only did you come up with the ending, you came up with the music for those scenes.
Interviewer: The music tracks for the final scenes were his idea too? They really set the right tone, if I may say.
KC: Yes, they do. The way ‘Nothing Else Matters’ soars at just the right point says everything about his final words. ‘The One I Love’…
Interviewer: The R.E.M. song?
KC: Well, that was exactly the right song to play over the funeral as we panned out from the cremation service and then out over all the RCV’s parked outside the crematorium.
DG: ‘Comfortably Numb’ was too long. (She punches him again.)
KC: Be serious Dave.
DG: (Grinning.) Well it is.
Interviewer: The last scene is also a panning shot isn’t it?
KC: Yes. It seemed that both of those last scenes worked better without words. Again the music helps enormously.
Interviewer: What is that song that plays out until the final fade?
DG: That’s ‘Against The Wind’ by Bob Seger. I thought it projected the idea that Emily, standing on that hill as she scatters Pops ashes, and then walking down the hill with her suitcase, knew what she had lost, but was determined to carry on with the plans they had made.
Interviewer: It does work.
KC: It does. I still keep being surprised by Dave’s hidden depths.
Interviewer; My final question; I take it there won’t be another ‘Dirty Work’ sequel?
DG: Probably not. For one thing, it’ll be hard to come up with a decent title. (Laughs.)
KC: Personally, I would say ‘never say never’.
DG: But Pops is dead!
KC: (Smirking.) It’s the movies Dave. Patrick Swayze was dead for ‘Ghost’ and look how successful that was.
Interviewer: Very true. Thank you both.

Karen burst out laughing when I came back after letting the interviewer out. “What’s so funny?” I asked. She wiped away a tear.
“The look on your face when I said we might make another one.”
“Well, it was a bit of a shock. I thought we’d agreed I was giving up on acting and going behind the camera with Clint.”
“Oh, we have. But are you saying that if a really good idea came along you wouldn’t want to play Pops again? Even as a ghost?”
“Well, maybe.” I sat down next to her and pulled her close. “It’ll always be nice to work with you, as long as you don’t keep expecting miracles from me.” I smiled. We kissed, a long kiss, a kiss from four years ago.
“Why can’t I expect miracles? You keep coming up with them.”
“Only because I’m with you, the biggest miracle of all. And one that you provided, twice. You inspire me.”
“Fairs fair. You inspire me too.” She got up and held out her hand. “Come on, you’ve inspired me again.” She headed out of the room and up the stairs.
I followed her. I always will.