Photograph Album (The Photograph Trilogy)

Posting the whole thing in one so that you don't have to keep searching for the three separate parts. As with the complete Summer Rain, there may be minor differences due to editing.

The Photograph

I found it hidden away in the bottom of a drawer, a twenty-year old photograph of me and Jessica hugging and smiling. She’d been wearing her one-piece swimsuit, conservative in comparison to what the other girls had worn, but to me it had given her additional mystique. I just had to sit as I stared at it. What had happened to us? Not that we had ever really been boyfriend and girlfriend, but when she was gone I finally realised that I’d fallen in love with her and that now it was too late. I wiped a tear from my eye and continued to stare.
The photograph had been taken when eight of us seventeen-year olds had gone on a caravan holiday at Easter. By the end of the summer Jess was gone, but just looking at that picture of us with our arms wrapped around each other brought memories of that week rushing back. I was one of the few to have passed my driving test and have access to a car. I suspect that was why I was invited and I’d asked Jess if she wanted to come too. We took two cars down to the holiday site. The other six were all steady couples and it made the sleeping arrangements difficult for me and Jessie until I decided to sleep in the car and let her have the final space to herself. I was never sure whether she was disappointed or relieved by this. The eight of us had a great time, out on our own for the first time. It was a week long party of fun. John, the other driver in the group had taken the photo of me and Jess on our last day, just as we were packing everything up. He’d given it to me when Jessica had disappeared from our school lives that autumn. For months I’d carried it around with me until I realised it was hindering my attempts to get on with a normal life. So I stashed it away in the drawer and tried to forget Jess.
I looked down again and saw her happy face and was determined to find out where she was, where she had gone. Our best guess at school was that her parents had moved away and she had gone with them, but there had been no sign of this when the summer holidays had begun, the first we knew about it was when she didn’t come back for the last year. I scanned the picture and posted it on Flickr under the title ‘Jessica, where are you?’ with a comment underneath asking everyone for any information. I did the same on Facebook. I also got in touch with some of my old friends to ask if they had heard anything of her. Then I had to wait.
It was a long wait too. I had to fend off several cranks pretending they were Jessie, but none of them knew the right answer to the question ‘where was the picture taken?’ It may have been possible that she wouldn’t know that, having seen it only briefly, but I felt she’d know. After two months the picture had many, many views and nearly as many comments, but nothing from the person I wanted to see it. And then one evening after I’d started to give up hope I got a friend invitation on Facebook from a ‘Jessica’. I checked that it was real. It seemed to be from her so I accepted. I also sent her an e-mail, asking if she really was the Jessie in the picture. Then I waited again. ‘Kashmir’ was playing on the radio when the reply came. All it said was ‘Now do you believe it’s me?’ Attached was an almost identical photo.
We exchanged e-mails for a few days. I skirted around the questions I really wanted to ask and just asked safe questions about how she was and where she was. Her replies were always friendly and any questions she asked were in the same style as mine. It turned out she was living about an hours drive away, in a town I’d passed through quite a bit, but didn’t know particularly well. After a week of pussyfooting around I asked if we could meet, expecting the answer ‘no’. I was more than a little surprised in that case when she said of course. I thought a neutral venue might be best, so suggested a pub called ‘The Black Buck’ about halfway between us. Another quick agreement and a time was arranged, and a recognition signal in case we’d both changed too much.
On the way over I thought about the fun times we had had together. Not just me and Jess, but our whole clique. We must have been the worst set of prefects the school had ever had, breaking more rules than the rest of the school put together. As I got closer to the ‘Buck’ I began to get vague pangs of worry, but tried to put them from my mind as I swung into the car park.
I paused at the door to the pub, suddenly unsure that this was the right thing to do. Maybe it would be better to remember Jessica as she was, or as I thought she was, rather than build this up as a grand reunion and find out my memories were totally at odds with a girl I hadn’t seen for twenty years. I took my hand from the door. Suddenly there was a fondly remembered voice behind me.
“Second thoughts, huh?” I span around and was greeted by the dazzling smile from the photograph. I grinned back.
“Sort of. Too late now though.” I held out my hand. “It’s good to see you again Jess.” She shook my hand, an amused look on her face and then pulled me close and hugged me.
“It’s good to see you too Dave. It’s been too long.”
“It has Jess, it has.” I pushed the door open “C’mon, I’ll get the drinks in.”
“I just need to check they’re holding my room for me, and then I’ll be in. Get me a Tia Maria and coke?”
“Of course. I wish I’d thought about getting a room too. Just have to hold off on the alcohol I suppose.”
“Oh, you can share the room if you like. I’m sure they won’t mind.” I had a flashback to the caravan. Jessie saw the look cross my face. “You don’t have to if you’re worried what people think you know.” She smiled that smile again, more knowing now. I grinned back.
“I think we’re both grown up enough now to handle it. Thanks Jess. But I sleep on the couch if that’s okay?”
“Sure Dave, if that’s what you want. The room may not have a couch of course.” She gave a wicked grin and went to find out about her reservation. My head spinning slightly with the suddenness of everything, I went and got the drinks in.
As we sat sipping our drinks we began to reminisce about our days at school together, the things we did either as a pair or part of a larger group. The jokes we had played or seen, the mishaps, the teachers we played up. The time passed swiftly and so did the drinks. I went to stand as the bar was closing and found my legs belonged to someone else. Jessica caught me before I fell and led me to what was our room. I couldn’t understand it, my brain was functioning normally, but the rest of me was on holiday. And Jess had drunk as much as me, but she didn’t seem to be affected. She opened the door and sat me down on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry Jessie; I seem to have got carried away with the drinking.” I was really upset that I may be ruining our reunion.
“It isn’t the first time I’ve carried you to bed.” She said soothingly.
“It isn’t? I don’t remember being this bad with you before.”
“The Christmas we were seventeen? Leaving school at dinnertime and not going home until six o’clock? I got you home that day, and without your mom finding out.”
“You did? I don’t recall…”
“Of course you don’t. You barely remembered your own name, let alone mine, kept calling me Belinda, very disconcerting for a girl.”
“I apologise extremely belatedly.” My mind began to wander, but still connected to my mouth unfortunately. “Belinda? Belinda? I wonder… I know! Belinda Carlisle! I had a crush on her back then.”
“I didn’t really want to know that.”
“Sorry.” Suddenly I began to feel really queasy. My hand went to my mouth and I stood and began to stagger in the direction I hoped the bathroom was.
It was embarrassing, throwing up like that in front of somebody I hadn’t seen for twenty years. I felt so foolish, and really, really ill. Jessica seemed to just take it in her stride, as if happened all the time. She turned the shower on and told me to get under it, leaving me to it. I struggled out of my clothes and sat beneath the stream of hot water. It didn’t do much for the thumping in my head, but it did make me feel less queasy and I didn’t get the whirling pits when I closed my eyes.
It must have been more relaxing than I thought. I awoke with a start as daylight was creeping through the window. I held my head and struggled to sit up. I was in the bed. Guiltily I looked around me; there was no sign of where Jessica had slept. I slid out from the sheets and had another shock; I was naked! And the only one who could have moved me from the shower was Jess. Hurriedly I pulled on my boxers and trousers, wondering where a :) my shirt was: And b :) where Jessie was. Had she been forced to sleep in the armchair? Or had she slept in the bed beside me? I was going to feel guilty whichever it was. I was looking for my socks and shoes when Jess came into the room with my shirt.
“You’re awake then? Good. I’ve managed to get your shirt cleaned and dried.” She said, handing me the garment. I took it and began to put it on.
“Jessie, I’m so sorry. I’ve been nothing but a problem for you all night.”
“Calm down Dave. It wasn’t the first time I’ve put someone to bed, I got a lot of experience of that while I was in the RAF.”
“But I took your bed and everything.” I paused. “You joined the RAF?”
“Ten years.” She said proudly.
“There is so much about you I don’t know anymore. I should have asked you all those things before I met you again.”
“Dave, you haven’t changed a bit. You still worry about so many inconsequential things.” She smiled. The word ‘inconsequential’ made me look from the bathroom to the bed for some reason. Jessica saw the glance and laughed. “Yes, I put you in the bed. As I said, it wasn’t the first time.”
“But… but, I was… you saw…” I spluttered, going a deep red. She was still grinning.
“If you must know, I didn’t look.” I managed to calm down. I looked at Jessica and realised I was still hung up on her. I had to do something.
“Jess. Can we talk? There are a couple of things I need to say, and maybe a question I need to ask.”
“We spent most of last night talking didn’t we?”
“I suppose, but that was just chatting really. Please Jessie, this is important to me I promise.”
“All right.” She said with a shrug. “Why don’t we go for a walk? It’s a lovely day and you look like you could do with some fresh air still.”
She waited for some minutes as we walked, while I was trying to sort out how to say what I wanted to say without seeming crass or bluff, until the silence became too much. “So, what was it you wanted to say?” Here goes nothing, I thought.
“The first thing is, I’m sorry about the caravan holiday, I didn’t think it through.”
“Why are you sorry? It was fun wasn’t it?
“It was great fun, but I should have realised that the others would all pair off, leaving you with me. I hoped that it would be boys and girls bunking separately, but I know your shyness made you embarrassed when it happened the other way.”
“I was embarrassed to start with, but I was kind of hoping that we’d end up together.”
“You were?” It was a bit of a shock to hear that. “And I thought I was doing the right thing for you. I’m truly sorry Jess, but why didn’t you say something?”
“Because you were right, I was shy. And so were you.”
“Yes. Yes I was. It looks like I made a right mess of that too. I’m really, really sorry.”
“You don’t have to keep apologizing; we both could have done things differently.” She smiled. “In any case, maybe it was all for the best. After all, we both kept an image of a perfect partner in our heads for twenty years didn’t we?” I nodded.
“I suppose.” I replied slowly. The phrase ‘perfect partner’ was bouncing round in my head.
“Was that all you wanted to say? You mentioned a question.”
“Yes, yes I did.” I held her hand, wondering how to put it. “What happened that summer Jessie? You just vanished without a word.” Now Jessica looked away.
“Oh, that.” She turned back around and took my other hand. “Well, my gran had been ill for some time and dad decided we needed to move closer. It was all a bit of a rush, and some things got forgotten.”
“I can see that, but why couldn’t you just come and say goodbye? You knew where I lived; it was only twenty minutes walk.” Jess hung her head.
“My turn to say sorry.” She looked away and then lifted her face to me. There were tears forming in her eyes. “I’d managed to convince myself that you didn’t like me, what with the caravan holiday and everything, so I thought a clean break would be best for both of us. But I never stopped thinking about you.”
“Jessie, why would I have asked you to come with me if I didn’t like you? To make up the numbers?”
“I know, I know.” She almost wailed. “I was just confused I suppose. I’d never been in love before.” The words hit me like a hammer blow. I hugged her as tears began to roll down her cheeks.
“Oh Jess, Jessie. What have we done? Between us we seemed to have screwed up a budding romance.”
“Do you think we could try again?” She asked, looking up with reddened eyes. I held her closer, hugging her tightly.
“Of course we can.” I smiled down at her. “It wasn’t until I’d lost you that I realised that I loved you. Something else I’m sorry for.” Jessie giggled through her tears.
“We seem to have spent most of the past day apologizing for one thing or another don’t we?” I laughed too.
“We do.” I led her back towards the ‘Buck’. “What do you think we should do now?” She shook herself, and a thoughtful look crossed her pretty face.
“Well, are you busy the rest of the day?”
“Not especially, no. Why?”
“I’ve got something I’d like you to see. Can you follow me back to my studio?”
“Your studio? Are you some sort of artist then?”
“I’d like to think so.” She smiled. “I’m a photographer. Mainly portraits, family groups and weddings. And I like to think my pictures are fairly artistic.”
“I know what you mean.” I said. “I take pictures too, not professionally, just for pleasure, planes and cars mainly.”
“What do you do for a job now? I never thought to ask.” I shuffled my feet and looked down embarrassedly.
“I’m ashamed to say that I’m a bin man for the local council.”
“That’s not a job I’d have connected you with, but why are you ashamed?”
“Because I know I could have done better. With you gone I couldn’t be bothered at school, and messed up my exams. I bummed around for a year and then got a job as a ‘temporary general operative’.” I shrugged. “I found I enjoyed working outside, and I was good at it. Eventually they made me a RCV driver.” I saw the look on Jessica’s face. “Yes, I’m one of those who, once a week, get in your way when you’re in a hurry.” By now we were back at the pub. “Look, let’s get our things, and I’ll follow you wherever you want to go. Something I should have done twenty years ago.” Jessica nodded and went to collect her bag. I went and paid off our bills and then waited for her by the door.
“Which car is yours?” She asked when she came out. I pointed at my Range Rover. “Nice. Mine’s this one.” She walked over to an Escort Cosworth that I had been admiring.
“Very nice.” I said.
“It suits me.” She got in and turned the engine over. It was a sweet sound. Then I heard the music on the stereo. It was Led Zeppelin IV.
“That’s amazing.” I gasped out. “I was listening to that too.”
“It was you that started me listening to this music back then.” She smiled up at me. “Come on, get into your monster and follow me.”
We pulled up at the back of a row of shops. Jess slipped into a parking space that was obviously hers. Unsure where to park, I waited until she indicated the space next to her. She led me into her studio. It was light and airy and full of camera equipment. I couldn’t help but look at some of it enviously. Jessie noticed my interest. “What camera have you got?” She asked.
“Nikon D50 and a Tamron zoom.” I swept my hand around. “Nothing as grand as this, but it does what I want mostly.”
“I started all this with a Nikon, they’re a good camera.” She turned back around and headed for a door. “Coffee?”
“That would be nice.”
“Through here.” She said, motioning towards the door. “It’s a little utility room where I keep some of my stuff that I don’t have room for upstairs.”
“Upstairs?”
“I live over the shop. It’s a bit small I suppose, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, but it suffices.” I followed her into the utility room and sat on a stool she indicated. Looking around I could see several boxes of bits and pieces that looked like they had been recently disturbed. “Sugar?” Jess asked suddenly.
“What!?”
“Do you take sugar?”
“Oh! Yes, yes. Two please. I’m sorry, I was thinking of something else.” I was blushing, and I knew it. Jessica looked at me and smiled.
“You still worry too much, and at your age too.”
“Can’t help it I suppose. You said you had something to show me?”
“Yes. There on top of the scanner.” She pointed at a pile of pictures. I picked them up and began to look through them. There were more than twenty of them, mostly from the caravan holiday, a couple from the school trip later in the year and some from our last days in that final term together. But I was in all of them, mainly with Jess, a couple of times on my own. I looked up as Jessica handed me a mug.
“Jess…” I began falteringly. “Jessie, where did you get these?”
“Oh, I either took them or asked someone to take them with my camera. It was only an Instamatic back then though.”
“But why? If I was that important to you, why didn’t you say?” I was at a loss.
“Because… Because I was shy. And if I didn’t ask, you couldn’t reject me.” She looked down, her eyes tearful once more. “It was stupid, I know.”
“No, no it wasn’t stupid.” I stopped and thought. “Well actually it was pretty daft because…”
“Why?”
“Because that’s the exact rationalisation that I used.” I tried to grin, but couldn’t. “We really screwed up Jessica. If one of us had got the courage up to say something, we could have been together.”
“We wasted twenty years then?” A watery smile spread over her face.
“I suppose.” A grin broke through onto my face, and then I began to laugh. Jessie giggled and then began to laugh too. I stood up and held her close, hugging her to me to make up for twenty years of wondering. “I think we’ll have to do better this time.” I said as we pulled apart reluctantly.
“We will. And the first thing we need is a new picture.”
“How are we going to do that? We’re the only ones here.”
“Dave, out there is my photographic studio.” She grinned. “I have all sorts of gadgets for taking pictures remotely. Come on.” She led me by the hand back through the door.
I sat in the middle of the studio as Jessie set up the camera, the lights, and the remote shutter, marvelling at all the attention to detail. All I’d ever done to take a picture was point and shoot! I asked her what she was doing next weekend. “Nothing I can’t cancel.” She replied.
“Want to come to a car meet with me?”
“Sure. Shall I bring a camera?”
“That’s up to you; I’ll be taking mine though.”
“I might do then, but I reckon you just want to borrow my big zoom lens.” She said mischievously.
“Jessie! As if.” She laughed.
“Only kidding Dave. Of course you can borrow it.” Finally she was ready and came to sit next to me.
“How shall we pose?” I asked.
“How about recreating the picture you posted.”
“Well there’s no caravan, but…”
“Idiot!” She laughed, kissing me. “Smile.”







Another Photograph


It had been six months after Jessie and I had been reunited and things seemed to be going well between us. Then I got a phone call from her one afternoon.
“Can you come over this evening? There’s something I think we need to discuss.” She sounded a little worried.
“Is it about the school reunion? I got an e-mail last night telling me about it.”
“Maybe indirectly. It has some bearing, but there’s something more important, and I don’t want to discuss it over the phone.” I took this in. “So, can you come over?”
“Of course, you don’t think I’ll pass up on an invite from my favourite girl do you?” I was jovial about it, but obviously something was on her mind, she just didn’t sound her normal cheery self.
I arrived just as Jess was closing her photographic studio for the day.
“You’re early.” She said, letting me in. I shrugged.
“You sounded out of sorts, so I came over as soon as I could.”
“Soppy sod.” She hugged me.
“So, what is it that’s worrying you? It isn’t the reunion is it? I know that everyone wanting to meet you might be a bit daunting.”
“No, not at all.” She shook her head. “I’m actually looking forward to seeing everyone again.” She looked down momentarily. “Come upstairs. I’ll make coffee.”
I stepped into the by now familiar self contained flat Jessica lived in above the studio and sat down. Jessie disappeared into the kitchen to put the kettle on. She definitely seemed preoccupied somewhat. I wondered how bad it could be. It was even more apparent something was up when she brought the coffees through. She looked really nervous, so nervous her hand was trembling as she handed me the mug.
“Just sit down and tell me Jess.” I said kindly. “Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”
“It can.” She said, tears forming in her eyes. “It’s something I should have told you a lot earlier.” She paused and looked away, unable to look me in the eyes. Now I was worried too. “The fact is Dave, I’m still married.” I nearly spilt coffee everywhere.
“WHAT! You’re kidding, right?” She shook her head.
“We’ve been separated for ten years, since I left the RAF. I haven’t seen him since, but we’re still married. I’m really, really sorry.” She hung her head. I’d recovered a bit by now. I put my arm around Jessica and held her close.
“Don’t start with the apologies again.” I kissed her head. “But you might have hinted, and then I wouldn’t have made that remark the other week about us setting a date…” I paused, realisation hitting me. “Oh! That’s what brought this on, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“So, what are we going to do then?”
“You don’t hate me?”
“Why would I hate you? You’re my girl now.” I smiled at her and she grinned back. “Well then, what the plan? I presume you have one? And that’s why you left it till now to tell me, so I couldn’t stop you?” She grinned again, nodding.
“Well, I spoke to my solicitor and he says that estrangement won’t be hard to prove.”
“Not after ten years apart.”
“I’ve got the papers and found Mike. He’s coming round tomorrow…”
“And you want me here.” I finished for her.
“Actually no, quite the opposite. I’d like you to stay away. This is between me and Mike.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. Certain.”
“Well I know you like to do things your own way, so all right. Just call me when he’s gone.” I sat back. “Now then, let’s talk about the reunion. We are going together aren’t we?”

It was after nine o’clock before she rang me. I was a little concerned. I was even more concerned when I got the call: Jessie was crying. ‘We’ve had an argument’, was all she would say. Ignoring how late it was getting I jumped straight into the car and drove there as quickly as I could.
Jessica opened the door to my ringing. Her eyes were red from crying, but more shockingly there was an obvious slap mark on her cheek. In a sudden cold fury I pushed past her. “Is he still here?” I demanded.
“No. He left. I waited until he was gone before calling.”
“You should have rung me straightaway Jess.” I took her in my arms. “What happened?” I asked calming down a little as I saw her face.
“Same as always with me and Mike. We started to argue and things got out of hand.”
“I think I want a word with someone who hits women. Where did he go?”
“Dave, I don’t think I should tell you. He was a bit drunk and I don’t want you hurt. It’s my problem, I should solve it.”
“It’s OUR problem now. Where?” I was now only just holding onto my temper. It was one of the things I hated, men hitting women.
“The little pub on the outskirts.” She said quietly. “But I don’t want you to go. It’s not just Mike, it’s me as well. It was always the same between us. We both had such explosive tempers”
“You don’t have to protect him you know?”
“I’m not, it’s the truth.”
“But you’re all right with me. I have a temper too you know?”
“You manage to control yourself, and so do I normally, but with Mike I just…” She waved her hand in despair. “Please be careful Dave.”
“Jessie, I’m not going to try and beat him up, I just want to put him straight on a few things. Did he sign the papers?”
“He took them with him, said he would see.”
“Something else I’ll need to talk to him about. Don’t worry; I’ll call when I have some news.” I slipped back out before she could protest any more.
I asked the barman to point out Mike to me. I looked long and hard at him. He was sat with a pint glass, looking at it moodily. Pulling myself together I walked up to where he was sitting.
“You’re Mike, right?” He looked up at me.
“Yep. And I’m guessing you’re Dave.” He pointed to the seat next to him. “Jessie sent you?” I sat down.
“Actually, she didn’t want me to come. She wanted to sort things out for herself.” He took a drink and nodded.
“Sounds like my Jess.”
“Except she’s my Jessica now.”
“Why should I listen to you?” Mike said with a sneer. I could feel my temper beginning to rise and tried to keep calm. “Running around behind some broad’s skirt, sucking up to her.”
“At least I don’t hit her. Only losers hit women!” I snapped back, my temper going up several notches. Mike snarled.
“She deserved it.” That pushed me over the edge. I swung my fist around and caught him full in the face, knocking him over. The sudden hurt brought me back to reality.
“I’m sorry; I swore I wouldn’t do that.” I held out my hand and helped him back up.
“Thanks.” Strangely he was smiling. “I hoped you’d have the bottle to stand up to me. I couldn’t just let Jessie go to any old wimp.” He saw the puzzlement on my face. “Yes, despite all our arguments, I still care for her. You surprised?”
“Not really I suppose. I feel the same way.”
“Good man!” He clapped me around the shoulder. “We should get on fine now.” I was totally bemused by the turn of events. “By the way, did I hurt Jess?”
“You left a slap mark. It didn’t look pretty.”
“I’d show the damage she did to me, but this is a public place.”
“She said that it was her fault too, the argument.” He shrugged.
“That was our problem; we just sparked each other off. Nobodies fault, so we decided to cut our losses.” He sighed. “I kept hoping, but it’s obvious we were never going to be together. Incidentally, watch out for her knee in an argument.” Mike smiled and I grinned back.
“Vicious is it?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.”
After that we just talked. It was really strange, I had sought him out with a cold fury in my heart but once I realised he was still looking out for Jess in his own way we got along just fine. As I was getting up to leave as they called time he handed me an envelope.
“I’ve signed the papers, I trust you to post them.”
“Thanks Mike. I hope you can find someone else.” He just shrugged.
“Thanks for that. I have got my eye on someone.” We shook hands and I left.
Jessica was still waiting for me. Without a word I handed her the envelope Mike had given me. She didn’t open it, just putting it down and then hugging me.
“I’m so glad you’re all right.”
“We’re all okay. Mike has a bit of a broken heart and is a bit sore between the legs, but I think he’ll be fine too.” Jess looked down.
“He told you then?”
“He intimated if I do get into an argument with you, it would be a good idea to keep away from your knee.” I smiled. “But I don’t intend to ever get into that sort of disagreement.” She kissed me.
“Thank you for that. Now I suppose we can start to make some plans.”
“I suppose so, starting with the reunion.”
“Oh, that first.”
“Indeedy do. I reckon we need to get a taxi to the club. What do you think?”

I heard Jessica’s Cosworth pull outside my flat while I was still fiddling with my tie. I wasn’t convinced that the tie was a good idea, but Jess had insisted. She wasn’t going to meet all her old friends with a scruffy-looking partner. I knew she was onto a loser there though; scruffy-looking was my natural state, even with my best clothes on. I opened the door for her and went back to the battle with the tie. I heard the door close behind me and asked. “You couldn’t help me with this could you?” I turned around, the tie half done around my neck. And stopped and stared open mouthed at the gorgeous sight before me. Jessica positively shone in a figure hugging shimmering full length dress. She gave a little twirl.
“Like it? I do a little portfolio work for a couple of models and one of them insisted I borrow it.” She looked at me. “Close your mouth Dave, you’re dribbling.”
“Sorry, but you look absolutely stunning.”
“Thanks. You look a mess.”
“I am a mess. I always was a mess, and I probably always will be a mess.”
“Not tonight sunshine, I’m going to sort you out.”
“Why bother Jess? Stood next to you I could wear a bin-liner and no-one would notice.”
“I would notice. Please Dave, just for one night, let me sort you out.”
“One night only then. Then you let me be me.”
“Agreed.” She walked over to my meagre wardrobe and opened it. “Not much to work with is there?”
“I’ve got the suit.” I protested.
“That’s a suit is it?” She sighed.
After half an hour of fussing Jess had got me looking presentable. She looked around. “What now?” I asked.
“Where’s your camera? We need a picture of this.”
“You must be joking.”
“No. Where is it?” Sighing I took my camera out of the drawer and handed it over reluctantly.
“Only on the understanding I take a picture of you as well.”
“Okay. Its got a timer as well hasn’t it?”
“I think so, why?”
“We could get another one of the two of us.”
“We can try I suppose, as long as it doesn’t take too long. The taxi should be here any minute.”

As it turned out we managed to get the three shots we wanted before the taxi beeped his horn. Actually I took more than one of Jessie in all her finery, snapping several when she wasn’t looking. Now we were outside the club where the reunion was being held, having confirmed a pick-up time with the cabbie. Jessica looked a little nervous now.
“Are you all right?” I asked. “I thought you were looking forward to it?”
“I was, I am. But I’m a bit scared. There’s going to be a lot of questions.” I put my arm around her and kissed her.
“I’m worried too. But it will be fine. They’re all just interested in you. And me I suppose.”
“Why?”
“Why me? Because most of them went on to higher education and I didn’t. I’ll probably fit in less than you dear Jessica.” She hugged me.
“Still with the worrying about silly things, eh?”
“You can talk. Come on, it’s getting cold out here.” With that we walked into the club hand in hand.
As we opened the doors and entered the function room, the drummer of the live band happened to look up. It was mistake on his behalf as the sight of Jessica in her slinky dress caused him to miss the drum kit. The rest of the group looked at him in annoyance and then where he was looking. The music ground to a halt. Now everyone in the room was looking at us. I desperately wanted to hide, but Jessica had already steeled herself and towed me towards the bar. The band started up again and soon old friends were gathering around us, asking how we were and where we had been.
After an hour or so I was getting tired of repeating the story of how I had found Jessie again, but people were interested so I persevered. At least they weren’t asking what I was doing now. I wasn’t ashamed to tell them but it was so dull compared with the careers they had all seemed to follow. Jess was revelling in the attention, not caring how often she had to repeat herself. I picked up a few nuggets of information myself, things we hadn’t talked about. After all, we had had twenty years of catching up to do in the past six months. I had decided that I wasn’t going to get as drunk as before so was being careful. Jessica had no such inhibitions and seemed to be drinking more than ever, but with no effect. I wondered how much was too much for her and hoped I’d be able to spot when it was close to happening. For the moment though she was a gregarious as ever. My friend John, provider of the original photograph, came over and we began to chat. He was one of the few who knew the story of the reunion already and subsequently was more interested in my story. “Come outside, it’s a bit noisy in here.” He said. Picking up my carefully nursed drink I followed him outside.
“Tell me Dave, why have you never tried to get further up the success ladder?” He asked. “We all know you had the brains.”
“But not the ambition mate. I found something I liked and just keep doing it. Oh they ask me to do odd things at times, but I just suspect that’s because I get them done.”
“You could have done more though.”
“Don’t nag. Anyway, I’m happy. Even more so now that I’ve got Jessie. There’s a great feeling of satisfaction at times, especially when there are twenty cars stuck behind you.” I grinned. He laughed and shrugged.
“Well, if you ever need another job, just call me.”
“Thanks, I’ll remember that. Now let’s go back in, or Jess will have started a martial arts tournament or something.”
It wasn’t that, but she had got up onto the stage and was making a speech. Or that’s what I thought. What she was actually doing was making an introduction for someone else’s speech. Mine! There was polite applause as she finished and friendly hands pushed me towards the stage. What was I going to say? I stumbled onto the stage, blinking in the light. I remembered what John and I had been talking about, that might do.
“Thank you for that introduction Jessie. I hope it was for me.” A laugh ran through the room. “Well everyone, it’s good to see you all again. As you can see, Jessica has managed to overcome her shyness.” She blushed and got a couple of friendly prods. “Unfortunately I haven’t and am in danger of drying up quite quickly. But before I do, I’d like to say a few words about contentment. I really only recently realised how happy with my life I was. Sure, I don’t have a lot of money or a high-powered job, but I enjoy what I do. I enjoy my free time and my hobbies. When I found an old picture of Jess, I wondered what had happened to her and decided to try and find her. You know that story by now; she’s been telling anyone who’d listen.” Another laugh. “While that was happening in here, I was outside talking with an old friend and suddenly it came to me. Finding her and falling in love again had given me everything I needed to be satisfied, someone to share with.” Jessica was blushing again. “So, as I’m running out of things to say, I just want to thank Jess for making me so happy.” A round of applause rose up. I waved my hand. “And thank you all for listening to my rambling!” Thankfully I left the stage and Jessie hugged me and planted a kiss on my lips.
“That was lovely Dave. Thank you.”
“Well, it was true.” I disentangled myself from her. “Anyway, I need a drink now. And you’re buying, volunteering me without asking you cheeky madam.” She grinned.
“All right, I suppose I can splash out a little for someone who is so content. And I apologise for not asking, but if I had you’d have said ‘no’ and then you wouldn’t have said those nice things.” She kissed me again. “So I’m not that sorry.”

The taxi came and took us back to my flat. We dropped onto the sofa, both a little merry, and just sat quietly in each others arms. After a little while I stirred.
“Don’t Dave. Let’s just stay like this.”
“But I need to get the bedding so I can sleep here.”
“It can wait for a while. I got something this morning that I want to show you.”
“Why have you waited until now to mention it?”
“Because I want to share it with only you, with no pressure from the clock or anything else.” I was intrigued now. Jessica sat up and pulled an official looking envelope from her bag. She passed it to me, a barely suppressed grin on her face. I took it and opened it, taking out the contents. A quick scan told me that it was a court date for the finalisation of her divorce. I looked up smiling into her beaming face. “So, what do you think?”
“It’s good news.” I said waving the paper.
“I didn’t mean that.” Her look darkened slightly.
“Oh, I see. You want to set up another photograph.”
“That’s not it either!” She turned away grumpily.
“You mean you don’t want pictures of our wedding?” She turned back to me slowly, the grin broader than ever. “Sorry. Think of it as payback.”
“It’s a good job we’re sat down or my knee would have been coming your way, you horrible teaser.”

“Have you got the white balance set right?”
“Jess, leave him alone. I know he’s your assistant, but I’m sure you’ve taught him how to take group pictures. Now stand still.”







Snapshots


I was sure I hadn’t made any more noise than usual as I prepared for the three-quarter hour trip to work, but there was Jessica in the doorway of the kitchen. “Sorry Jess, did I wake you?”
“Not in the way you think. I always wake up not long after you get up for work, but I usually wait until you’ve gone before I get up.”
“Why the change then?”
“I just felt a bit odd, that’s all.”
“Anything I can do?”
“I don’t think so, but thanks for asking. You don’t need to get there this early do you?”
“Not exactly, but since we moved out here I like to allow an extra half an hour.” Jessie came into the kitchen and sat down while I finished my early morning coffee. She looked wistful and began to play with the sugar bowl.
“Remember the first meal we had here? It was so romantic.”
“That’s not what you said at the time! I was threatened with the knee, if I recall.”
“Well, fancy forgetting to get the gas and electric turned on, you silly sod. Anyway, bacon sandwiches cooked on a camping stove and eaten by candlelight never tasted so good.”
“So, you’ll forgive me for that then?”
“I might eventually.”
“Eventually huh?” I pulled on my body warmer and picked up my keys. “I better get going.” I looked at her. “If you don’t feel well perhaps you’d better stay home today.”
“I’ll be fine. Besides I’ve a couple of things I want to do. I’ll call you later.”
“All right darling. Talk to you later.”

It was lunchtime and I was a little worried about Jessie, so I called her studio. The receptionist answered. “Tracey, is Jessie there?”
“Sorry Dave. She and Alan went to the solicitors a couple of hours ago.”
“That’s odd. Any idea why?”
“No, sorry.” She paused and I heard someone else in the background. “Oh, Alan’s just come in. Want to speak to him?”
“Okay, put him on.” Jessica’s assistant came on the line. “Hello Alan, what have you and Jessica been up to?”
“Sorry, I can’t tell you. Jess said she’d tell you later on.”
“She’s being mysterious again is she? Okay, it’ll wait. Where is she?”
“I dropped her off at the doctors. She said she’d walk back.”
“More mystery.” I sighed. “Is she all right? She said she felt a bit odd this morning.”
“All I know is when she came in she went upstairs with a paper bag, and she was positively beaming when she came back down.” I furrowed my brow.
“I wish she’d confide in me a bit more at times. All right Alan thanks. I’ll just have to wait until she calls me I suppose.”

I’d almost finished for the day when I got Jessica’s call. “Dave?”
“Hello Jess. I’ve been waiting for you to ring.”
“Have you finished yet?”
“Just doing the vehicle checks, then I’ll be on my way home. Are you going to let me in on the mysteries?”
“Mysteries?”
“Alan said he couldn’t tell me why you’d taken him to the solicitors.”
“Oh that. Well, I decided to make him a partner. It’ll help keep the business going.”
“Why would it need help?”
“Well, in the not too distant future, I’m not going to be able to be there.”
“Why’s that?” She seemed to delight in talking in riddles at times.
“It’s why I went to the doctor, I needed to confirm something.”
“Jess, stop dragging it out. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
“Oh, there’s nothing wrong. I’m going to be a mom.” I was almost struck dumb.
“How did that happen?”
“Don’t be silly. I know you’re not that naïve from all that porn I found on your computer.”
“Sorry, stupid statement. And how long are you going to keep dragging that up?”
“Depends how long you keep making stupid remarks I suppose. Is there someone with you? I can hear them in the background.”
“Yeah, Steve is.”
“What’s he saying?”
“Wants to know what’s going on.”
“Well tell him then.” I turned and called out to my workmate.
“Steve, I’m going to be a dad.”
“Does Jessica know?”
“Very funny.” I walked away a little. “Jess, I’ll be home in an hour. Tell me everything when you get in.”

It was after six when Jessica came in. “You madam! Why didn’t you say something? Here, sit down, put your feet up. I’ll make some coffee.” I was fussing and I knew it, but it was something I couldn’t help.
“Well I wasn’t sure.” She replied as she sat down. “And you don’t have to treat me like an invalid.” A short pause. “Well, not yet anyway.”
“Just getting some practice in. What are we going to name him?”
“Dave, you’re getting ahead of yourself a bit. And it may be a girl just as easily.” I grinned.
“Sorry, and I honestly don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl as long as you’re both fine. Will it be all right? You’re a bit older than most first time mothers.” I suddenly realised that hadn’t sounded quite right.
“I don’t know whether to be insulted or touched by that remark.” She smiled.
“Sorry. Again.”
“Good, now come and kiss me.”
“Is it safe?”
“Don’t be silly. Now come here.”
“Just keep that knee uncocked.”
“Fool!”

It was a little bit tense in the delivery room. I was stood next to Jessica as she strained, breathing hard. “Grip my hand Jess. You’re nearly there.”
“You swine! This is all your fault. Aaahh!” She was sweating quite a bit. I was too. Childbirth was obviously as difficult as I had been led to believe.
“Keep going Jessie.” I said soothingly.
“If I could get my knee at you, you’d be feeling this pain too!” She clenched my hand harder. I winced a little.
“You’re nearly breaking my hand as it is Jessica.”
“Good! Aaaaaaah!!” The doctor and the midwife looked up. The midwife nodded at me.
“Jess, Jessie! It’s coming! I can see its head. One more push.”
“Aarrrggh!” With a sudden rush, the baby was born.
“Congratulations! It’s a girl.” The doctor said.
“Jess, Jess! She’s beautiful. She looks like you.” I kissed her sweating brow. “You’ve made me happier than ever.” The midwife handed the bawling child to Jess, resting her next to her head.
“Here you are Jessica; she’s going to be a strong one.” Jessie looked at the tiny baby.
“Thank you nurse. She is all right isn’t she? We were worried that I might be a bit old.”
“You are both fine.” The nurse said, patting Jess’s hand. I had been staring at the little girl in wonderment.
“She has your eyes Jessie. To a tee.” It was true; looking at the two of them I could see so much of my beloved wife in the tiny mite. “Can, can I hold her please?” I asked tentatively. The baby was handed to me. I cradled her like she was the most precious thing in the world, which she was, scared that she’d break if I held her too tightly, worried that she’d slip if I didn’t hold her close. I looked down into that sweet little face, totally unaware of any troubles, and fell in love. Gingerly I touched her nose with my finger, then her mouth. Her eyes looked straight at me and her hands converged on my finger, attempting to catch it. “She’s so beautiful. I can’t get over how small she is. She’s holding my finger look!” I was totally enamoured at once. A daughter, a beautiful daughter.
“Don’t get so excited Dave. Anyway, she needs a name remember? All you came up with was boys’ names.”
“I did? Sorry. How about Charlotte? She looks like a Charlotte.”
“Charlotte? That’s a nice name, okay.” Jessica lay back, taking the newly-named Charlotte from me.
“Doctor? Jess? Can I take a few pictures? Will it be all right?” The doctor nodded. Jessie sighed.
“If you must Dave.” She smiled, a thought coming to her. “The amount of pictures you’re likely to take, I suspect her first words will be ‘cheese’.” Charlotte’s arms and legs were waving as if to some unheard tune, gurgling and chuckling to herself. That was the first of many photographs of Charlotte.

I was taking another picture of my darling Charlotte sitting out in the garden while Jessica prepared her afternoon drink, talking to her as I always did, when I heard her say ‘Dada’. I stopped. “What was that Lottie? Say it again for daddy.” She did. “Jess! Jessie!! Come quick! She said ‘Dada’ twice!” Jess ambled out, the bottle in her hand.
“Again?” She said wearily. “That’s the third time this weekend you’ve claimed she’s been talking. She is barely ten months old you know.” I ignored the friendly jibe. It was true I kept thinking I heard little Charlotte say a word, but this time I was sure.
“Say it again Lottie, say it for mommy too.” Nothing. I knelt next to the toddler. “Please Charlotte; your mother thinks I’m going potty. Say it for daddy.” She reached out her little hand and tried to grab me.
“Dada.” Jessica’s amused smile froze. She knelt down as well. “Dada.”
“See! I told you Jess.” I was grinning massively. I felt so proud.
“Well, I have to admit that did sound like ‘Dada’. Pity, I was hoping her first words would be ‘Mama’.”
“I’m sorry Jess. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been coaching her. Well, nagging her really.”
“You don’t think I haven’t?”
“Of course not, I didn’t mean it like that.” She kissed me.
“I know.” She grinned at me. “And I did say her first word would be ‘cheese’ anyway.” Charlotte seemed oblivious to our pride, she just sat and grinned.

I was a little concerned. I felt Charlotte should be trying to walk by now, but she seemed content to crawl or shuffle on her bottom. Jessica said it was my fault; I kept picking her up, so I’d decided to try and encourage her. I stood her on my feet, holding her hands to balance her, and shuffled forward. The problem was, she enjoyed that so much she wouldn’t try herself. All I’d done was invent a new game for her. Jess had just sighed and told me to let her be; she’d walk when she wanted to, when she wanted something. I’d nodded, but known that I wouldn’t be the first one to see this happen. Jess had been taking Lottie to the studio with her for seven or eight months, where her receptionist Tracey or Alan the other photographer could keep an eye on her if Jessie herself was busy. With Lottie getting so adventurous now, I knew that exploring the studio would be the inspiration she needed to take her first steps. She’d explored our house already with me helping her, so I knew it was my own fault.

My phone rang while I was at work driving so I was forced to ignore it for a moment. As soon as I pulled up I pulled out the mobile and checked the missed call. I groaned when I saw it was from Jessica, suddenly sure that Lottie had been spotted walking. I called back. “Jess? Sorry I couldn’t answer. What’s up?”
“Charlotte!”
“What?”
“Charlotte’s been standing up!”
“And?”
“And nothing. She’s never stood up on her own before has she?”
“No.” I conceded. “Except in her play pen, holding the bars.” I had a thought. “Did you get a picture?”
“Of course.” Jessie sighed. “Another one for the ever-growing file on your computer.”
“Of course.” I was pleased; there was still a chance I could be there when she first walked.

I walked into the studio through the front door. Tracey, the receptionist, looked up. “Hello Dave, come to collect Charlotte?”
“Hello Trace. Yeah, I’ve come for the princess. Is the boss in?”
“She’s out back; printing off someone’s wedding pictures. The princess is with her.”
“She’s been standing up on her own?”
“Oh yes.” She smiled. “She looked so proud of herself.”
“But no steps?”
“Not while anyone was looking.” I grinned.
“That’s my girl, waiting for her dad.” Jess appeared in the doorway, Charlotte held in the crook of her arm.
“And why would she be doing that?” She asked, a wry smile at my enthusiasm. “She loves her mommy too.”
“Because she’s a little girl who knows that the rewards will be greater from her daddy. And of course she loves her mummy, and she’s not the only one.” I kissed them both. “Ready to come home Lottie?” The little girl held out her arms as I took her from Jessie.
“You spoil her you know?”
“And the three of you don’t?” Tracey looked away guiltily and Jess went red. I smirked. “What time will you be home tonight love?” I asked as Lottie settled on my hip, trying to pull on my ear.
“I might be a bit late; I’ve got to get the Johnson’s wedding album ready for tomorrow.” She sighed.
“Well don’t be too late; Charlotte and I might have a surprise for you.”
“Exactly what are you planning?”
“Just a little bribery and encouragement. See you later. Wave to mommy Lottie.”

I set Charlotte down in the middle of the front room. “Does daddy’s girl want a biscuit?”
“Dada. Bikkit.”
“All right then. Come and get it.” I produced a digestive and held it up for her to see. She crawled over, but found she couldn’t reach where I was holding it. She pulled herself up me and stood on her feet, wavering slightly. Carefully, so as not to disturb her balance, I backed away a pace or so, still offering her the biscuit. Then, tentatively, what I’d been hoping for happened. She took a few steps and grasped hold of the digestive! “Good girl!” I scooped her up and hugged her. She gurgled happily and began to suck on the crumbly biscuit. “Can you do it again for Mommy when she gets home?”
“Mama.” She said, waving her hands, throwing crumbs everywhere.

I was beginning to think I might have to put Charlotte to bed when Jessica came in. “Okay Jess. Sit down and I’ll get you a coffee.”
“All right, I’m not one to turn down a drink, but why is Charlotte not in bed.”
“Because we have something to show you.” I called out from the kitchen.
“If she’s cranky tomorrow, you’ll be in trouble.” Jess warned.
“Believe me Jessie, this is worth it.” I said, bringing her coffee in on a tray with a couple of digestives.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a biscuit Jess.”
“I know that, but I don’t have biscuits with my coffee this late.”
“I never said it was for you. Offer it to Lottie.” A light dawned in my wife’s eye.
“That sort of bribery eh?”
“Just do it Jess.” She sighed and held out the biscuit towards Lottie.
“Charlotte, want a biscuit?” This time I had got my camera out and was snapping the toddler in action for the collection.
“Bikkit!” Lottie pulled herself up onto her feet and teetered over to her mother, grasping the digestive before plonking herself down on her bottom and sucking on the biscuit.
“Oh you beautiful girl!” Jess exclaimed, picking up the surprised Charlotte and kissing her. “And you, you sneaky Daddy you.” She kissed me too.
“Your idea Jessie. You said all she needed was to want something badly enough and she’d do it.” Lottie was waving her hand again, showering her mom with crumbs from the biscuit. Jessica gave me a look that said ‘Couldn’t you have found a more solid bribe?’ I scurried off to find the vacuum cleaner.

“Daddy, I don’t want to go.” Charlotte wailed.
“Why not? You enjoyed Nursery School didn’t you? This will be like that.”
“But it’s EVERY day daddy. I’ll hardly ever see you or mommy.”
“Good job too!” Jessie said. Charlotte and I both looked at her in surprise. “She needs to learn to be herself, not just our child Dave.” I nodded slowly. I understood the theory, but it was still difficult. “Just go and check with the Head that our arrangements to pick Lottie up are fine, while I have a word with Miss clever here.” Sighing, I walked over to the Head Teacher who nodded at me benevolently.
“Problems?” She asked.
“Nothing that her mom won’t sort out. Jess is so much better with the serious talking; I tend to give in to Lottie too easily.” She smiled and patted me on the shoulder.
“Don’t worry; you’re not the only one. Lots of dads are the same, especially with daughters. Moms are much more practical.” I brightened up.
“And I thought it was just me.” We grinned at each other. “Anyway, the reason I came over was to check it was all right to keep Charlotte back until one of us turns up to fetch her. It’ll usually be me, but occasionally I get delayed. If it looks like I’ll be late, I’ll call. If I think I won’t make it by quarter past, Jess will come and fetch her. Is that all right?”
“Don’t worry, there are several after school clubs she can get involved in until half past three.”
“Thank you. It’ll never be later than that, I assure you, even if I have to bring the Dustcart over!” We grinned at each other again.
“It looks like your other half has worked her magic.” The Head said, nodding in the direction of my two lovelies. I nodded and walked back.
“Sorted?” I asked them. Jess nodded and Charlotte looked at me shamefaced.
“I’m sorry Daddy; I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“I’ll always worry about you princess.” I kissed her head. “Now go on in and I’ll pick you up at three.” She trotted off, waving. Jessica looked at me and sighed.
“What are you like? You know she’ll enjoy it, but you just have to worry don’t you?”
“Of course I worry.” I smiled and kissed her. “I worry about you too.”
“You’ll never change will you?”
“I hope not.”
“Me too.”

I was a bit nervous waiting outside the school. I felt so out of place amongst all the young mothers. I was old enough to be the father of most of them. They were curious about me, but started to talk to me when they realised I was collecting my child the same as they were. The children came pouring out of the doors at three. Charlotte came bouncing up to me pulling another little girl with her. “Daddy, this is Maria. She’s my new bestest friend!” I smiled at her zeal.
“Pleased to meet you Maria.”
“Hello sir.” She said shyly.
“We played football and beat the boys.” Lottie spoke excitedly. “Maria was brill. She scored our goal!”
“I learnt how to play with my brothers.” The little girl said, blushing at Lottie’s enthusiasm. “I must go, my mommy is waiting. See you tomorrow Lottie.” She left with a wave.
“Oh, you want to come back tomorrow now?” I teased.
“I was being silly this morning daddy. I was worried that I wouldn’t fit in.” Charlotte looked up with her eyes shining with enjoyment. I leant down and kissed her.
“That’s my fault princess. You get that from me. You should be more like your mother is now.”
“She doesn’t worry?”
“She worries, especially about us, but she doesn’t let it get in the way like we do.” I took her hand and we walked towards the car. “Now then, tell me about what you’ve been doing apart from playing football.”

I was checking my camera equipment before the airshow the next day when Charlotte came up behind me. She spoke in her special ‘pleading’ voice.
“Daddy, can I come with you tomorrow?” I stopped what I was doing, turned around and looked at her. She meant it; there was a serious look on her face.
“Of course you can sweetie. I never asked because I didn’t think you were interested.”
“Well, if I don’t go I won’t find out, will I?”
“That’s a good point sweetheart.”
“And I am seven now you know.”
“I remember how old you are.”
“And what about mommy? We can’t leave her on her own.”
“She might actually enjoy that.” I grinned. “But let’s go and ask her shall we?” She took me by the hand and led me into the kitchen where Jessica was ironing. I had offered to do it, but she’d laughed and said that Charlotte’s school clothes needed to be done properly. “Jess?” She looked up. “Lottie has something to ask you.”
“Yes love? What is it?”
“Well mommy, we were wondering if you wanted to come to the airshow with us.”
“Oh, you finally asked daddy did you? And he said yes?”
“I did, but I don’t want to leave you here alone. So, will you come with us mommy?”
“Actually, yes. It would make a nice change. It’s been a while since I photographed some aeroplanes.”
“I didn’t know you liked to take pictures of planes Jess.” I said.
“Well I am a professional photographer who used to be in the RAF.”
“I keep forgetting that bit. All right then, we’ll start out early tomorrow morning then.”
“Good idea. I’ll need to pop into the shop on the way and pick up a few things.” As I nodded I caught a glimpse of Charlotte’s face. She was looking thoughtful. Jess saw the look too and imperceptibly shook her head. Leave it for now, I thought. Jessie knows something I don’t.

As I pulled up outside Jessie’s studio and she opened the car door Charlotte spoke from the back seat. “I wish I had a camera too.” I turned around and looked into her serious face.
“Why’s that princess?”
“Well, you and mommy will be taking pictures and I’d like to as well. I know what to do; I’ve watched mommy and Alan.”
“You’ve left it a bit late to mention this darling; I might have been able to find my little camera.”
“Oh.” The crestfallen look on her face nearly broke my heart.
“I’ll let you borrow mine while we’re there. With your own memory card, so you’ll know which pictures are yours, how’s that?” She perked up a bit.
“Thank you daddy, that will be nice.”
Jessica had returned with her camera bag and put it in the back with the picnic gear. She slipped back into the car and smiled. “Okay, I’ve got everything I think.” She turned around and spoke to Lottie. “You all right sweetie?”
“Daddy says I can take some pictures with his camera!”
“He did? Well, that’ll be nice.” She looked at me and gave me a grin that I recognised. She was up to something! I gave her a questioning look but she ignored me. “Let’s go then, off to the airshow.”

The car park was almost half full even though the gates had only just opened. I turned off the engine and looked at the two glowing faces in the car with me. “Before we have a look around I suggest we get the chairs and go and stake out a spot. I know a good place.”
“I should hope so; you’ve been coming here for years.” Jess said, getting out. “Come on then poppet. Grab your seat and we’ll follow daddy.”
“What about the cameras?” The little girl asked.
“We’ll pick them up after we’ve got our spot.” I smiled at her earnest look; she so wanted to take some pictures. “Don’t worry; you’ll get your chance.”
It didn’t take long to put up the chairs and peg the windbreak around them so we were soon back at the car. Charlotte waited impatiently as Jess and I fiddled with our cameras and lenses. Jessie smiled at me and pulled a second camera from her bag.
“Look what I’ve found. Now why did I pick this up?” A huge grin split my face. Charlotte looked up expectantly, not daring to make a suggestion. “I think I’ll take this one too, if I can find someone to carry it for me.” She looked around slyly.
“I’ll do it mommy!” Lottie couldn’t get the words out quickly enough.
“Will that be all right? I mean, you can’t borrow daddy’s camera if you’ve already got one can you?” It was too much. I burst out laughing. Jess did too. Charlotte looked at us perplexed. “Sorry both of you.” Jessie managed to say. “But I knew that was what Lottie was angling for all the time, so I thought I’d tease her a little bit. I didn’t expect you to offer her yours though.”
“You didn’t see the look on her face.”
“I’ve seen all the looks she can give Dave, and you’re so gullible when it comes to Charlotte.”
“Mommy.” Lottie piped up; she’d been following the conversation whilst looking at the camera intently. “Does this mean I can take some pictures?”
“Yes dear. The camera is yours for the day. If you can take care of it, you might get it for longer.” Charlotte positively beamed with joy.

“Daddy, can you put my pictures on your computer now, so that I can see them?”
“You should be getting ready for bed sweetheart, it’s getting late.” She looked downcast. “I’ll tell you what; I’ll put them on now, and if it doesn’t take to long, you can have a quick look before you go to bed, how’s that?” She nodded and scurried off to wash and change into her night things. I plugged the memory card in and began to download her pictures. Jessica came up behind me and leant on my shoulders.
“You are such a sucker for her; she’s got you wrapped around her finger.”
“I don’t mind. Anyway, don’t you want to see how she did?”
“Actually yes. She was so serious about the settings, trying to remember the things she’s seen at the studio. Not like you, Mister point-and-click.” She laughed.
“I get some good pictures!” I retorted.
“You get lucky sometimes.”
“You’re teasing aren’t you?”
“Of course I am. You’re pretty good for an amateur. If you took a bit more care you could be very good.” She leant forward and kissed me on the forehead. The download completed. I hovered the mouse over the new folder marked ‘Lottie’s Pix’.
“Ready?”
“Go on, let’s see.” I clicked and the two hundred or so pictures came onto the screen. We scrolled through them, marvelling at our daughter’s aptitude. There were quite a few that were as good as mine, even some as good as Jessie’s. Suddenly we both stopped and stared at one in particular. “Open it to full size.” Jess said hoarsely. I did so. It was a picture of the two of us in a familiar pose, the pose from all those years ago. “I don’t remember doing that.” She said.
“Nor me.”
“You do it all the time.” A little voice said from behind us. “I just waited and clicked. I thought daddy could add it to that file with all the others the same.”
“How did you know about that?”
“I’ve seen you looking at it daddy, mommy has one too.”
“She does?”
“I do.” Jess sighed. She knelt next to Charlotte. “Thank you sweetie. Just for that picture, you can keep the camera; I think you’ve earned it.”
“Oh, thank you mommy.” They hugged, a tear forming in the corner of Jessica’s eye. I knelt beside them.
“Charlotte, thank you. That was a beautiful thought. You’ve made us both very happy.” Charlotte beamed. “But I think you better go to bed. We can look at all your pictures tomorrow.”
“Okay daddy, goodnight.” She kissed us both and picked up her camera and went upstairs.
Jessica and I looked at each other for a while.
“It looks like we did something right with her Jess.”
“It does.” She looked thoughtful. “There’s something else too.”
“What?”
“I think it’s about time we had a new picture pose.”
“Not just the two of us you mean?”
“Yes. We’ve both got loads of pictures of Charlotte with one or other of us, but very few with all three of us. So, tomorrow morning, we’ll take a new photograph.”

Falling Star

Second part of what will certainly be a trilogy at least. While working on the first part I kept getting more ideas, too many for just one episode, so it keeps growing!





The past two or so years had gone quite well and fairly whizzed by. ‘Dirty Work’ had been a minor hit to start with, but had got huge after it went to DVD. I, Dave Gerrard, bin man, had become an actor. In the main I got secondary roles. Not starring roles or lowly ‘second thug’ type parts, but characters that helped the plot along. I was usually only on set for three or four weeks, which suited me fine. It meant that I could accompany Karen when she was away filming. We had actually married on the set of her next film. For her part, she had been on set for my films too. I was glad of her support, especially for my first role other than as ‘Pops’. Unfortunately Karen’s next couple of movies hadn’t been terribly successful. I told her that I thought it was because she was being offered and had accepted the wrong roles. She wasn’t so sure but accepted my advice in the right manner. There had been rumours that there was to be a sequel to ‘Dirty Work’, but Karen wanted another hit before she did it. It didn’t bother me as it had been her project anyway, and I wasn’t desperate to get back into the limelight. However cracks were beginning to appear in our relationship, mainly due to the fact that we were spending more time apart than we’d like. My own insecurities about marrying someone so much younger were not helping matters either.
It was me who caused the cracks to widen however. Karen was away in New Zealand, appearing in another film I thought was wrong for her, while I was at home preparing for a bigger role than I’d played before (except for Pops). It was my birthday and I was bored. Karen had called and we had talked for nearly an hour. That had been fine at the time, but later on in the evening, sitting at our home, nursing a drink, I really missed her. ‘I’ll go out!’ I thought. ‘I need some people around me.’ It was possibly the most stupid thought I ever had. Some photographer snapped me coming out of a club at two in the morning with a pretty redhead. In truth, I was just sharing a cab with her, but the tabloid headlines screamed something different. When I saw the pictures I knew they were going to hurt Karen. I called her straightaway and told her the truth. I said I knew how it looked and knew I had been careless. She listened and said she believed me in a quiet voice, but I knew I had dented her perception of me. I had a bad feeling that I’d started a chain of events that I wouldn’t like.
I was right about that. Her manager, a weaselly man, put out a press release saying Karen was ‘shocked and stunned’ when I knew she was no such thing, at least not in the way the release implied. I had hurt her though, and this man was trying to stir things up, but I left things alone.
In preparation for my upcoming role I was doing some driving again, a delivery van this time. During this time I was away from home and hadn’t looked at a newspaper for three days. I was on my way back when Karen called me. I was glad to hear her voice again. She had called to say sorry she said. ‘For the stunned press release?’ I asked. ‘No, for the pictures that are about to be published.’ She said, adding that it had been her manager’s idea again. Puzzled by what she meant I couldn’t really say much. I got home and put the news on. There was Karen walking out of a club with a very hunky looking man. He looked like he kept his brains with his razor, and didn’t use either of them very often. And he was so much younger than me. I was really starting to hate that manager. I threw some things into a bag and went to the airport.
Karen was genuinely glad to see me. She hugged me and I hugged back, but because I’d been torturing myself throughout the whole flight out I pulled away after a brief moment. “Just what is going on? I know I screwed up and you have every right to be angry with me, but those photos of me were grabbed on the fly. These…!” I waved a newspaper with her pictures in under her nose. “These are posed! Why Karen? If I hurt you that much, why didn’t you just say so. You could have, should have yelled at me when I called you. I would have accepted that, you had every right to. But why tell me you believe me and then do this!” She looked away and then back, her face now reddening with anger.
“Don’t you dare come here and lecture me! It was you who messed things up, and…and you’ve been holding my career back.”
“How the hell have I done that? It was you and that idiot manager that picked your roles. I never once said ‘take that one’. He’s been poisoning you against me for months now.”
“I can’t talk to you like this, meet me later when you’ve cooled off, and we’ll sort it out.”
“Got another hunk lined up that you have to put off first have you?” I sneered. I knew I had lost control but I couldn’t stop. All my anxieties were bursting forth and I was saying ridiculous things, things meant to hurt her. She stepped up to me and slapped my face hard. In my anger I started to lift my hand until I realised what I was doing. My shoulders slumped.
“I’m sorry Karen, I’ll go. I never meant for this to happen, and I never want to hurt you again, so I’ll go and leave you alone.” I turned and went towards the door. As I reached it, her manager came in.
“What’s happening? I heard raised voices?” He saw me. “Oh, it’s you, the husband.” My anger returned. I saw all my problems personified in him and I swung my fist, landing it square on his jaw.
At least I got out of New Zealand before the little git could have me arrested, but I’d probably never be allowed back in. I brooded on the long haul back to London. Now I’d calmed down and looked at my actions I was deeply ashamed. I loved Karen, but I’d shouted at her and accused her of so many stupid things. And I couldn’t believe I’d actually begun to raise my hand to her. Before I’d started acting I’d never raised my hand to a woman. (Well, except my sister.) I was so mortified by that one near movement that I almost broke down and cried. Instead I came up with a plan, and it wasn’t a plan to try and get Karen back. I’d decided that I didn’t deserve her so I would lose myself, take myself out of her life, let her do what she wanted, let her find someone who did deserve her.

Now it was eighteen months after the plane had landed in London. I had gone back to our home and packed some clothes and one or two other bits and pieces and left. Although I knew she wouldn’t be back for three weeks I left her a long letter, apologising for messing up her life, telling her I’d always love her but I couldn’t bear to see her hurt anymore so I was doing the only thing I could and getting the hell out of her life and then apologising again. Then I’d gone to the location site for the film I was supposed to be in. After three days I found I couldn’t concentrate on whatever it was I was supposed to be doing and my enthusiasm was non-existent. I was on my way to find the director to tell him I quit when I met him coming to tell me I was fired. So ended my film career. I went back to the one thing I knew I was good at, waste collection.
I had to work as an agency driver of course. There were no full time jobs going anymore. I didn’t mind though, I was still getting royalty checks for the films I had done and the book of photographs I had put together from ‘Dirty Work’. They were paid into several accounts, one for each role I’d played. It was a game Karen and I had started; an account for each film we’d been in. Of course the account for ‘Dirty Work’ was the biggest, because both of us paid into that one. It was also the only one I never touched, figuring that was ‘our’ money not mine. So now I just enjoyed myself doing a job I learned to love again. Basically it was so simple; just empty all the bins that were scheduled for collection for that day. I didn’t have to know why, I wasn’t told how, I just did it. I went back to my Blog, the Blog that had caught Karen’s attention, and just wrote what I felt. It was very cathartic, although I couldn’t bring myself to write down why Karen and I had split. I left all the propaganda to her slime ball manager. It was obvious that I was going to be the bad guy, and she was the one hard done by. I was painted as some sort of gold digger, only out for her money, when in truth I left our house with less than I had arrived with. I was surprised that she had never filed for divorce, or if she had, I had never been informed. It was surprising because whenever she appeared in public there was another gorgeous hunk hanging on her arm, most of them with the vapid expression of a goldfish, and probably the brains as well. I learned to stay away from those pictures, just as I learned to live without Karen again. My new workmates soon tired of teasing me about my short-lived former life and learnt not to say anything bad about Karen too. ‘She is still my wife’ I would explain, bouncing their heads off the nearest hard surface.
I suppose I was disappointed that she hadn’t come looking for me. It was almost as if I wasn’t worth divorcing, I could just as easily be ignored. I was saddened by her attitude though. I knew she was more grown up than her years suggested in many ways, but she was still a child in others, especially when it came to relationships. I had seen that she could be easily led and had tried hard not to impose my views onto her. Apparently her manager had had different ideas.

She had finally got her big hit film for a part she took after a very public row with him. He hadn’t wanted her to take it, but something, possibly something I’d said, made her want to do it, so she had. She had then fired him too. That was something I found very satisfying, I just wished I could have been there to see it. There had been a court case too, he had sued for defamation and loss of earnings, and she had counter sued for embezzlement. The case had only recently ended with Karen winning. To begin with I had kept tabs on it, but it had become drowned in legalese and even the tabloids found it hard to pick out any scandal.
Deep down though I knew everything was my fault. I could have saved our relationship right up to the moment that I punched her manager and I knew it. Even back then I had known it, for an instant I had wavered and then I had seen in his eyes that he wanted me to hit him. I knew he had set me up. He wanted me out of Karen’s life, and sooner or later he was going to get his way, so landing the blow meant I was going on my terms at least. All this had flashed through my mind in milliseconds and I had thrown the punch anyway. He had gone down very satisfactorily.

I still had friends in the movies though. I kept in touch with some of the crew from ‘Dirty Work’, especially Clint the director. He kept offering me small roles in his films so I could ‘keep my eye in’. I always turned him down though, preferring to do some truck driving for him so I could meet old friends that way. I was out with some of the old second unit who had just finished filming some location shots nearby when I saw the news. Karen Carragher was due to make an important announcement in the next few days. There was much speculation on the TV as to what this would be, but I felt I knew. This was the end of our relationship. One of the brainless beefcakes had asked her to marry him, so I had to be found and sorted out. I quietly slipped away and went back to my flat. As I sat in the darkness, contemplating my stupidity in throwing away the best thing that had ever happened to me, the phone rang. I tried to ignore it, knowing that this was obviously the beginning of the end, but the thought of hearing Karen’s voice one last time made me pick up.
The voice on the other end however was that of Clint. “Dave? Got a job for you if you want it.”
“Clint, it’s good to hear a friendly voice. I was expecting it to be Karen or her lawyer telling me the dream was over.”
“Dreams are never over son. Why are you expecting Karen anyway?”
“Well, she’s divorcing me isn’t she?”
“She is? She didn’t say so earlier when I met her.”
“Oh? What about this announcement?”
“That’s for ‘Dirty Work II’. Now she’s got another hit, she wants to do it. With the original crew too.”
“That’s going to be awkward isn’t it? I mean, we haven’t spoken in eighteen months.”
“That’s why I called and why the announcement is being delayed. I need to know if you’re prepared to plays Pops again.”
“Why?”
“Because we have two slightly differing scripts. If you won’t do it, we’ll use the one where Pops has just died. If you will…”
“Karen can dump me on film too.” I finished for him. I was torn. I really wanted one last chance to see her, but I didn’t know if the humiliation was worth it.
“You haven’t seen the script yet.”
“Post it to me.”
“We don’t have the time. We need to know within twenty four hours.”
“I’m not agreeing to play a role that I haven’t seen a script for. You, or Karen, could have turned him into an idiot.” I heard him mutter something like ‘well he is supposed to be you’.
“Look Dave, I’m five minutes away. I’ve got the script; I want you to see it. I want you to be in this film. We were a team four years ago; we can be again.”
“All right, bring me the damn script and I’ll see. You do know I haven’t done a single acting job for nearly two years.”
“See! It’ll be just like old times.” He sounded pleased that I was even considering the role. I was a bit surprised too, but that chance to work with Karen was going to be hard to overcome.

Clint had waited while I skimmed through the role of ‘Pops’. They hadn’t changed his character, but he wasn’t central now. Things happened around ‘Emily’, more like the original film had supposed to be. “Okay Clint. I’ll do it. It was more the sort of role I was doing afterwards anyway. I only have one request. When Karen announces this, can she read out a short statement from me?”
“I can’t answer for her, you know that.”
“I do know. I’ll take the role whatever her answer, so she doesn’t have to do it if she doesn’t want to, but she won’t get to see it until the announcement.”
“I don’t know Dave. That sounds a bit ominous.” Clint sounded as dubious as he looked.
“It isn’t meant to be. If it helps, I can show you what the note will say. I just want it to be a surprise for Karen.”
“I can only ask her.” He shrugged. I took out a piece of paper and wrote what I wanted to say on it. I showed it to Clint before I sealed it in an envelope. He smiled and nodded.

The room was packed. More people were interested in this than Clint and Karen had anticipated. I had sneaked into the back of the crowd by the simple expedient of closely following a reporter and waving my camera at the harassed guy on the door. Karen and Clint came in and sat before the assembled mass of cameras and microphones held towards them by the seated media. I looked straight across at her but she didn’t see me.
She spoke in a calm authoritative voice. “Good morning everyone. It’s good to see so many old friends here.” Her eyes swept the room, still failing to notice me. “As you have probably guessed by now this is to officially announce that ‘More Dirty Work’, the ‘Dirty Work’ sequel has got the green light. Clint and I are pleased to confirm that we will be using exactly the same cast and crew as we did in the original.” Every hand in the room shot up, every reporter wanting to know the answer to the same question. Karen knew it too. “And yes, that does include my estranged husband as ‘Pops’.”
“In fact, Dave was the hardest to persuade to come back, and not for the reasons you would think.” Clint broke in. “He felt his performance in the first film had been exceptionally lucky and he didn’t think he’d be able to repeat it. I managed to change his mind only yesterday, and he agreed as long as Karen would read out a short note to all of you.” I tensed. I wasn’t convinced now that this was a good idea, but I needed to gauge her reaction before we met again.
“Thank you for the explanation Clint.” Karen sipped from a glass of water. “Before I read out that note, I have something I need to say first.” Clint looked a little surprised, but recovered his composure by crossing his arms and leaning back. When he did he caught sight of me and almost fell backwards. Luckily everyone was looking at Karen.
“You all know I recently won a court action against my former manager. Throughout that action many claims and counter claims were issued. One thing that did not come out was something I was horrified to learn. My manager had engineered the whole break up with Dave. It was he who organised the barrage of abuse that Dave received after that picture, and he who somehow stopped Dave’s friends confirming what he had already told me, that all he did was share a taxi.” My eyes widened. I wasn’t expecting this! Neither was Clint. He sat with his mouth open, obviously wondering where Karen was going with this. “Subsequent to that, he hired a succession of young men to accompany me to all sorts of functions and get photographed. It seemed he was trying to get Dave to file for divorce, because I had already refused to do so.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I was more and more glad I had thumped him. “So, before you all gang up on my husband, please realise we all, and I mean Dave, me, and all of you, were used by an immoral man for his own agenda, which was ultimately the embezzlement of a fair bit of my income.” The media people all looked down, shuffled their feet and were generally embarrassed. While they all muttered to each other Karen picked up the envelope I had given Clint and opened it. She read the note and then burst into tears, sitting down. Clint picked up the note.
“Ladies and Gentlemen. All this note says is: ‘I’m so deeply sorry. Forgive me. I’ll never stop loving you. Dave’.” He held it up for everyone to see. They all stood and tried to get a better look. I lost sight of Karen so began to move around to the side of the room. Through the sea of noise I heard her speak.
“Where is he Clint? I have to find him, where is he living?” Clint just pointed at me. Karen swung around and saw me. “Dave!” She ran to me, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Well, I wanted to see you before we started our next film.”
“The note! The note was lovely.”
“Will you forgive me?”
“For what? I just told everyone that we were manipulated.”
“But it was me who gave him the opportunity, by going out that night. And I did thump him in front of you, and I said all those horrible things and thought even worse things. And worst of all, I lifted my hand.” I hung my head.
“I forgive you for everything. Well, nearly everything. I don’t forgive you for hitting him. You should have kicked him as well.” Her watery red eyes were shining with laughter. I picked her up and kissed her.
“Karen, shall we go home?”

Lucky Star

This just dropped into my head almost complete when I was thinking about something else. It is, I think, the ultimate wish fufillment story. There are no prizes as to which actress this supposed to be about, most of my friends will guess straight off. (It's not a Karen BTW)




Interviewer: I’m talking with the star and co-star of Karen Carragher’s ‘Dirty Work’, her first film since she finished the seven film series of ‘Scholarship Girl’. Karen is also co-producer on this new project. So, I hear you two met before the film was even properly scripted?
Karen Carragher: Yes, that’s right. I was doing some research into waste collection and I came across a blog on the net by Dave. It was very articulate and thought provoking with a lot of insight into the job he was doing. When I read his profile and found out that he had been doing the same job…
Dave Gerrard: Or variations of the same job!
KC: Yes. Doing the same job for over twenty years, I thought maybe he would be able to provide me with the depth I needed for the role I was going to play.
Interviewer: The young woman determined to succeed in a job dominated by men?
DG: I’d just like to point out that women aren’t discriminated against; they just don’t like the job. Probably the smell, or thought of it, puts them off. That’s only my opinion though, don’t take it as gospel.

I wasn’t sure what to say when I was told by my supervisor that some film people wanted to come and pick my brain about my job. It was just my job, and although I thought about it a fair bit and even put those thoughts into a blog I’d started, that’s all it was. I didn’t consider myself the fount of all knowledge regarding waste collection. In any case, I agreed and was pleasantly surprised when the only person that turned up on the appointed day was Karen Carragher, the film star. I’d watched her grow up throughout her films in the ‘Scholarship Girl’ series, we all had. From a cute ten year old to a highly attractive twenty year old, all under the eyes of the world. I was almost expecting her to be aloof, just going through the motions, but I was wrong. She wanted to learn about what life was like collecting people’s rubbish. The first day she just sat in my RCV with me as I drove around and asked questions: about the attitude of the public, about the attitude of other bin men to women who worked on the collections. Just background stuff really. She made copious notes and I was expecting more of the same on her second day with us. Karen however asked if I could show her how we worked, she wanted to load bins. To help her out I ceded my driving seat to my second driver and worked the lifts with her for the day. I explained how to load a bin and tried to explain how to load two bins at the same time.
“You just line them up.”
“But how? Not everyone can do it, I can see that.”
“I can only tell you how I think I do it. It’s been so long since I started I can’t remember exactly what process I used in the beginning.”
“Okay, go on.”
“All right. I line up the right hand bin so that the right hand corner is up against the right edge of the lift and then the left hand bin should be about the width of a fist away from it. If everything is correct, when you tip them forwards they should both go up together.”
“Sounds simple.”
“Well, to me it is, but I’ve had a hell of a lot of practice.” I smiled. “Not so much these days though, as my loaders will tell you.” I watched as she painstakingly tried to follow my advice. To her joy and my surprise it worked first time, and then second time. In fact it was nearly ten minutes before she failed to get two on at once, overconfidence finally striking.
Karen was wonderful to work with. She didn’t moan once in the three days she worked with me, even when it rained on the third day, soaking all of us. I’d shrugged and said that was something we all got used to, even if we didn’t like it. When we finished that day I wasn’t expecting to hear from her ever again. I thought that meeting her for three days was great, but never thought that it would lead to anything else.

Interviewer: But it did?
DG: Yes. About three weeks later Karen called me. She asked if I was available to be the Technical Advisor for ‘Dirty Work’. I had to tell her ‘maybe’, it all depended on whether my leave entitlement would cover the period they wanted me.
KC: When I told him that we’d need him for at least four months he said he couldn’t do it. I had other ideas though. (Grins)
DG: (Smiling) Yes. She went to my line manager and told them that the production company would pay for my replacement for the duration of the filming. For some reason, only I would do.
KC: Well, I felt that the production, especially the actors and maybe the scriptwriter, needed some specialist guidance and because of the way Dave was able to give me some insight during my brief visit, I was confident that he was the man for the job.
DG: (Laughing) I’m glad someone was. When they told me I was going to be the ‘Technical Advisor’, I panicked. I mean, what does a Technical Advisor do?
KC: (Huge smile) Dummy!
DG: (Blushing) Yes, I know now, advises on technical issues, obviously.
Interviewer: But that still doesn’t explain how you ended up in the film?

So there I was on the set of the film. They were setting up some sequences of the RCV working. I had just spent a week working with the scriptwriter, polishing the finer points of waste collection operation with him, but here on set I felt overawed, like a fish out of water and a little alone. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was supposed to be doing here, so I went and had a look at the RCV they were going to use. Here at least was something familiar. As I was poking around the lifts, Clint, the director, came up behind me.
“This will be fine for the job won’t it?” He asked.
“It’s a bit newer and cleaner than the one I’m used too.” I smiled. “But it should be fine.” I leant back against the big solid side of the truck. “Can I ask one thing though, why am I here?”
“Karen thought you should be on set.” He shrugged.
“Miss Carragher? But to do what exactly?”
“To keep an eye on how the waste collection ingredient of the film looks. We don’t want all your mates phoning up and telling us that its rubbish, no pun intended.”
“All right, I understand that.” Now I had an idea of what I was supposed to do. “How do you want me to express my ‘displeasure’? Should I run out shouting ‘No, no, that’s all wrong’? Or will a tap on the shoulder be enough?” Clint put his arm around my shoulder and laughed.
“Karen was right about you. You are a sharp one. Just tap me on the shoulder and as long as it’s possible, we’ll do it your way.
I watched the first two takes as they loaded bins onto the truck down a winding street and then had to tap Clint’s arm. “What’s up Dave?”
“This driver character is supposed to be popular with his workmates, if I read the script correctly?” He nodded. “Well, he wouldn’t be very popular with his loaders if he kept pulling up like that all day and made them walk so far with heavy bins.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean he should either pull up just past the bins so all they have to do is push them onto the lifts, or pull up roughly equidistant between the bins either side of the road.” Clint gave me a puzzled look. I sighed. “I don’t suppose this driver is a real bin man?”
“No, he’s the driver who brought the truck from the hire company.”
“Thought so. Knows how to go forward, but not when to stop. Let me show you what I mean.”
“Go on then.” I trotted up to the RCV and indicated that the driver should move over. I slipped into the driving seat and began to adjust things like the seat and the mirrors.
“Don’t worry mate, I know what I’m doing.” I said as I slipped the truck into reverse and shot backwards up the twisty street to the entrance, using only one hand as usual. The company driver gave me a dark look. Ignoring him I wound down the window and stuck my head out to tell the extra’s what to do. I turned on the radio and sighed. Now it felt right. I moved to the first pair of bins, and then the second…
“That was quite astonishing.” Clint said. “They barely had to move.”
“Well, loaders deserve something. The driver is in the dry if it rains and in the cool if it’s hot, so the least he can do is put the truck right next to the bins for them.”
“I told you he was good.” Karen said. I hadn’t noticed her come onto the set.
“I could probably do it quicker with practice.” I blurted out before I realised that it sounded like boasting. Clint and Karen looked at each other.
“How quick?” Clint asked.
“For the street? Maybe five minutes.”
“Okay. Go and practice and rehearse the extras at the same time.” The director said. I trotted off, oblivious to the frantic signalling that was going on between the two I had left and three or four other people nearby.

Interviewer: So you had no idea what was going on?
KC: Same as usual. (Laughing)
DG: Cheek! (Pokes her arm with his finger) No, I didn’t know what they were hatching. I just assumed that they were going to alter the camera positions or something. I mean, it was the first time I’d been on a film set, so I just took everything at face value. In any case, I was enjoying myself shuffling the RCV up and down the street.
Interviewer: At what point do you realise that Karen and Clint had something different planned for you?
DG: It was when Clint came over to where some of the film crew had gathered, betting me that if they coned off half the street I couldn’t reverse up it.
KC: He bloody did though! Smart Alec!
DG: (Reddens again) It’s easier than you think. Anyway, Clint came across and asked me to come to the trailer in five minutes.
Interviewer: And you still didn’t suspect?
DG: No, I thought I’d pissed him off by showing off in the truck. I said as much when I went in. Karen and the scriptwriter were there too, all three of them looking at me in an expectant way. They told me that they wanted me to take the part of the driver ‘Pip’ that hadn’t been cast yet. I was a bit stunned. Having read the script, I knew that ‘Emily’, Karen’s part, was supposed to fall in love with him.

“You’re changing the ending then?” I asked.
“No.” Said Clint. “Except to change ‘Pip’ to ‘Pops’ the script stands.”
“But that’s ridiculous. Twenty year old girls don’t fall in love with middle aged men unless they’ve got money.”
“You’re an expert on twenty year old girls then?” Karen asked sweetly smiling.
“No. But I am an expert on middle aged men, and I’ve never been that lucky!”
“Maybe your luck’s just changed.” Karen said, a sly look on her face now.
“Besides which, this is the movies.” Clint said waving his arms wide. “Anything can happen!” He put his arm around my shoulder. “Do you want the part?”
“I’ve never done any acting.” I said. I still couldn’t believe this.
“That’s the easy part for you. You just have to be yourself.”
“So this ‘Pops’ will react how I would?”
“You got it.”
“Please Dave. I know you can do it.” Karen gave me the ‘scholarship girl’ look, and batted her eyelids.
“All right.” I sighed. “On the condition I can take some pictures of what’s going on. It’s the only chance I’m going to get.”
“Sure.” Said Clint. “Everybody does that anyway these days.” He went to the trailer door. “I’ll just go and tell the crew what’s happening.” He turned and said as he left. “At least we won’t need a stunt driver for you.” Karen took my unresisting arm and led me towards the commissary truck.
“Come on. We need to discuss a few things about our roles.”

DG: I did find acting as myself fairly easy most of the time, on the set I mean. But when it came to the romantic scenes with Karen, it became difficult.
Interviewer: Why was that?
KC: I must say I never noticed any difficulties.
DG: It had been a while since I did anything romantic, and about twenty five years since I’d romanced a twenty year old. (Smirked) Anyway, the big tender scene two thirds of the way in? I couldn’t get a handle on how to play it.
KC: I thought you were messing it up purposely, so you’d have to kiss me again!
DG: (Laughing) No, honestly, it wasn’t on purpose. I was having problems with why.
Interviewer: Why Pops was in love with Emily?
DG: No, the exact reverse in fact. Why was Emily in love with Pops? I knew I could be in love with a twenty year old. I was acting opposite one who I’d been attracted to since her third or fourth film.
KC: You never said.
DG: Why would I? Anyway, for all of that day, I couldn’t get a handle on why Emily would be in love with Pops. Clint gave up in the end, saying we’d shoot it later.
Interviewer: But that scene is wonderful! How did you solve the dilemma?
KC: The night before the re-shoot I took him out to dinner and we discussed how the scene should play.
DG: That’s not exactly how I remember it.

Karen had asked me to dinner. She said there were some things we needed to get right before the re-shoots, especially the major scene that I’d kept messing up a couple of weeks ago. I knocked on the door of her hotel room feeling overdressed. Suits don’t sit well on me, I look awful in them, but I was dining with the beautiful Miss Carragher, so a suit it had to be. Or so I thought. She opened the door and just stared.
“Didn’t I tell you not to dress up?” She asked, indicating I should come in. She was wearing a rock t-shirt, and a pair of tatty jeans.
“I thought you meant not to wear a tuxedo.” I replied, my face going red.
“I said we’d just order some room service and then try and work out what we need to do with these re-shoots. At least, that’s what I thought I said.”
“You did, but I’ve never had a meal with a famous actress…”
“We eat together all the time!”
“On set snacks are not the same thing.” I protested weakly.
“What is your real problem here? Is it the same one that’s causing you to mess up in some of the romantic scenes?”
“I… I don’t know how to act around you.” I saw the smile on her face. “Poor choice of words.”
“Sit down while I order some food.” She sighed. I did as I was told. I slipped the jacket off and stuffed the tie into the pocket and instantly felt more relaxed. Karen handed me a drink. I sipped at it gratefully.
“You know, I am going to be the envy of every bin man in the country.”
“And why would that be?”
“Because I get to kiss you.”
“So why do you keep getting it wrong?” I slumped down, realising I was going to have to tell her why.
“Inexperience and disbelief.”
“What?”
“It’s been a long time since I had to kiss a pretty girl, and never one as pretty as you. And I still can’t get my head around why a young woman would fall for an old man.”
“Oh, you’re an old man now?”
“Don’t tease Karen; this is messing up the entire film. So unless I can believe in a reason, it’ll take some nifty editing to get something out of the scene.”
“Do you believe in me?” Karen looked at me earnestly.
“Yes.” I replied, but reddened. “But you’re a very good actress. Very convincing.”
“Thank you, but that’s not what I meant. This film is my project, something to show I can act as something more than a clever schoolgirl. It was me who wanted you in this film, because…” She faltered. “Well, because you’re kind, honest, and funny. And a person like that should occasionally get the breaks.”
“But giving me that break is stuffing up the filming!”
“You are not listening. If YOU can get THIS role, then POPS can get EMILY.”
I was dumbstruck. She was absolutely right. Maybe miracles can happen, and if I just ran with it, it would work. Karen saw the sudden understanding flash across my face. “Get it now?”
“Yes, yes. I can see how I can make it work now. Thank you.” I reached up and held her hand, kissing it gently.

Interviewer: So, with that one piece of advice you got it right?
DG: Well, more or less. It still took about three or four takes, but it wasn’t just me messing it up this time. It was madam here as well.
KC: I kept getting the giggles. And that was his fault.
DG: Me? How?
KC: You’d finally convinced Clint to put in the number plate scene earlier in the day, and I kept remembering it at the wrong moment.
Interviewer: I’m sorry, I don’t…
KC: It’s okay. It’s only a quick cut scene. There’s a car number plate that starts BJ08 and Pops just says ‘Am I the only one who thinks that says…’ and then we cut to another scene.
DG: Its part of the ‘getting along with the crew’ bit of the film, where Emily is starting to be accepted by the other workers. I asked if we could add a little ‘bin man’ humour in. And yes, it is all as bad and smutty as that.
Interviewer: Workplace humour doesn’t change much wherever you work does it? Now a last couple of questions about some rumours from the set. The first one concerns the car chase near the end.
DG: The truck pursuit?
Interviewer: Yes. The rumour is that you drove the truck yourself as Pops chases Emily before she can leave town.
KC: Oh yes, I can confirm he did. The stunt driver couldn’t get it right, but Mister Genius here did it much more smoothly and safely.
DG: (Reddening again). It was pretty easy really. I’m used to driving an RCV and had been driving that one in particular throughout the shoot, so I knew where to put her.
Interviewer: Her?
DG: The truck. Sorry if that offends anyone. But honestly, any other experienced RCV driver could have done it.
KC: I still don’t believe you. You did it in one take, for goodness sake!
DG: Karen, I’m not the greatest driver in the world. Hell, I know I’m not even the best in my own yard. I’m telling you, that chase was easier than the reversing up the coned off street. Everything was choreographed, and I just had a better handle on how the truck moved than the stunt guy.
KC: (Mutters). I still think you’re being modest.
Interviewer: Anyway, the other rumour concerns some romance on the set.
DG: On the set? (He looks puzzled.)
KC: Between some of the actors? (Also puzzled.)
DG: That guy, Steve, playing the other loader with Emily and Pops. He was always talking with that nice girl who was the admin assistant.
KC: She’s his wife Dave.
DG: She is? It’s a good job I decided not to chat her up then!
Interviewer: No, The rumours concern the two of you.
KC: (Astonished.) US!!?
DG: I think some people saw more than what there actually was between us. Karen is a very good actress, and I’ve already admitted I’m in love with her from her earlier films. Perhaps they saw that and came to the wrong conclusion? Sorry to disappoint you.
Interviewer: I’m not sure I believe you.
DG: I’m not that good an actor; the whole crew will tell you that. (Grins)
Interviewer: Karen, Dave, thank you for your time.

The man from ‘Total Film’ left and I collapsed in a heap on the sofa of the hotel room. “I’m glad that’s over. I didn’t like lying to him about us though.”
“You didn’t lie, just mislead him a little. I’ll tell you what, when we announce our engagement after the film opens, he can be the one we tell first. That will make you feel better.”
“A kiss from my lover would help too.” I grinned. She kissed me.” I can’t believe this still, you know?”
“Which part can’t you believe at the moment?”
“I’m prepared to believe that I’ve just made a film, which is apparently getting some reasonable reviews, I’m even prepared to believe that I don’t actually ruin the aforesaid film. What I still can’t believe is that I’m dating the star of that film.”
“Why ever not?” Karen kissed me again, putting her arms around my neck. “I practically told you right at the beginning.”
“You did?”
“Does the phrase ‘Maybe your luck’s just changed’ ring any bells?”
“Good grief! All the way back then? I thought it was because of all that kissing we were doing for the big scene.”
“It started for me before even then. It was when you were showing me how to work the back of a dustcart.”
“The first time we met?” I whistled in surprise.
“Yes.”
“So you engineered me onto the set?”
“Well, I only wanted a technical advisor, but I got an actor and a stunt man instead.”
“How many times…?”
“Teasing, teasing.” She interrupted with a laugh.
“So… So, it’s not just some flash in the pan thing then.” I was suddenly serious. Karen saw this and sat next to me.
“Of course not. Why do you have to ask?”
“Well, the truth is, I keep worrying. You’re still really young and I’m…not. I worry that I’ll lose you somewhere down the line.” I looked into her eyes and was surprised to see tears forming.
“You muppet. You are dense sometimes.” She kissed me again. “I contrived to get you on my film set so I could have another chance to talk with you. You were the first person in a long time to treat me as a person not a movie star.”
“But I treat everyone the same way.” I shrugged.
“I know, even though you openly admitted you loved me as an actress, you still treated me as a person.”
“Well, you treated me as someone too, you weren’t condescending or anything.”
“That’s why I knew we could make it work, but you made it so hard for me.”
“With the ‘young woman don’t date old men’ stuff?”
“Yes. Remind me, when did we actually start dating?”
“Around about when you convinced me that Emily could love Pops.” I stopped. “Oh, you’re right. I am a muppet. That whole argument was aimed at me wasn’t it. Sorry for being so dense.”
“Shut up and cuddle me, muppet.” I wrapped my arms around her in compliance.
“I was wondering, which one of us is it?” I murmured
“Which one of us is what?”
“The Lucky Star.”